Judge — July 4, 1908 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

iN YAWN WY) 4) ~S ih. a 7 ie The Truth Can be told about | Great Western Champagne nthe Randard at ‘tmerieaa Wiese There is nothing to conceal ine proviace tion. Ita PareGrape Jonce, fermented and aged vo enact parece tn or ett cess, sessing, the boue Goce and favor that ‘one that received a GOLD MEDAL” PLEASANT VALLEY WINE CO., ‘Sole Makers, Rheims, N.Y. ald by roepectabte wien dculore evereberes A man's chief to make people think he really is. in politics is trying Ez. Sea Gate, New York Harbor On the Ocean and near the City Located in 2 Beastifal Residential Private Park OPEN ALL THE YEAR thie. 3 Tennis with ‘walet and L. W. WHITTIER, Prop. Gitions. Instant rellet_and positive cure, Trint ‘matted Cy Ta ia! Ds JUDGE’S WOMEN’S DEPARTMENT. For the benefit of our women readers in the myriad homes where Jup favorite, we have entered into an arrangement h the famous editor of ** The Perfect Ladies’ Companion,"’ Mr. Hik Hok. Any perfect lady among our readers who has troubles of household or heart may go in perfect. confidence to Mr. Hok, who will at intervals convey through these pages advice or comfort, as the case may demand. Miss Antoinette Eloise Jones, whose appeal for a model leap-year proposal we turned into a prize contest, is beginning to receive aid from our readers. We ap- pend the following : Kansas City, Mo., June 14th, 1908. My dear Antoinette: I have carefully perused the letter you wrote to Mr. Hik Hok, the warm-hearted editor of ** The Perfect Ladies’ Companion."" Now, my dear girl, I feel downright sorry for you-sorry that you are so homely, sorry that you are an orphan and it grieves me terribly to think that your great-aunt would insert such a punk clause in her will (perhaps your aunty had bats in her garret or suffered severely with some other form of brain-fuddle). If she was mentally afflicted, you can easily smash the will and have it ren- ovated and made to read ** July 4th, 1923."" This extension of time will g you ample opportunity to take a course of treatment in Professor J. Percival Fixemup’s Face Hospital. After this gentleman has placed a sufficient number ‘of amendments to your physical appear- ance and you are well satisfied that your face will make the boys look up and take notice, visit. the Bowery, purchase a season ticket to some good burlesque show, attend each performance, and you will soon notice that overwhelming feel- ing of shyness gradually disappearing. If you find it impossible to follow the above advice, pen the following letter to the most eligible of your male acquaint- ances: ‘My dear Mr. : It has oft said that beauty is only skin dee that a healthy bank account blinds men's eyes to the physical defects possessed by their wives. ‘This axiom should prevail in a personal case I am about to submit You will perhaps recoll r Aunt Priscilla died re fe she bequeathed to me of her immense fortune, which amounted to (in round numbers) $684,- 000. 1 am very sorry to add that this bequest is not to become available unless I enter into the sacred bonds of matri- mony by July 4th of the present year. Dear aunty felt that I was a spoiled child, utterly unfit, on account of my busine perience, to properly invest the money she spent so many years in accumulating; hence she inserted the following clause in her will: * Unless the said Antoinette Eloise Jones, my darling grandniece, takes unto herself a husband during the time intervening be- tween the making of this, my will, and July 4th, 1908, the bequest of $68 mentioned herein, and which I hay. queathed to my ‘said grandn become null and void; and it is my will and desire that all of my stocks, bonds, and cash shall be divided among t various Salvation Armies and h hand institutes throughout the United States of America.’ Now you can read- i stand, that 1 am an unattractive ing @ husband. My imper! tions are ma ple and loving husband, who can make pro nvestments for mi is so strong that I feel quite sure tha an appeai to you for your heart and hand will meet with your approval and accept- ifold, but my desire to i 1 am aware of the fact that you possess a warm heart, and feel that I ean place the utmost confidence in you. 1 trust that you will not consider me pre- sumptuous for taking advantage of the dear, old, leap-year custom of making this proposal of marriage to you. You may rest assured that if I am favored with an acceptance of it, and we are married within the time stipulated, 1 will leave no stone unturned to prove to you my loving devotion, my heartfelt desire to please you at all times, and my absolute willingness to grant you full control of the $68: ance. will state that I just recei from adear girl friend of min in Kansas City, who states that they easily be remedied. She very kindly furnished me with the name of an i nent dermatologist, whom [ will vi: frequently if you decide to aceept my. proposal. Id have called on you and subn ition verbally th a feeling: of shyness, “ Earnestly imploring your aid and re- questing the utmost ; ti the above proposal, 1 am, anxiously yours, “Antoinette Eloise Jones.” Dear Antoinett fail to make connections with the fellow you like best with this letter, get out a bunch of them in circular form. Price, $2.50 per thou- sand, at any of the printing houses. Truly your friend, Julia D. Bombeck. St. Louis, Mo., June 15th, 1908. Dear Charlie: Your home ix ‘most too large for one, but just right for two. Suppose you fix it up real cu keep house for you. You've bes too long, my dear. 1 know you some. Ab, let's break a wedding this year aboard the Pullman car. A bach lor, they say you are my fate. I drop these lines to you to see if you want me for your mate. If 1 should take your hand in mine and get rather slow and ask you to marry m would you say yes or no? They say two hearts can beat us one, Can yours beat If so, we will take our fore next Christmas time. J now und lon To make you happy i "Tis dan- serous this kind of in yours and we will walk down tog Lovingly yours, West Orange, N. J. 21 know you will be very surprise ta letter from me, but I have written to you for a very queer request. A clause in my great-aunt's: will re- quires that I shall be married by July 4th this year, Now you are the only man in the whole world 1 care anything. i propose, ? T know th t very attractive but I think th: if 1 had a show I ake a very fond and useful wi Hoping to get your answer very, very soon, I remain, yours in doubt, Antoinette Eloise Jones. 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