Judge, 1908-06-27 · page 5 of 17
Judge — June 27, 1908 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated humor pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **"Over the Fire-Engine House Telephone"** depicts a woman calling the fire department with a complaint about neighbors' yard aesthetics rather than an emergency—a satire on trivial complaints and misuse of emergency services. **"Another Natural Mistake"** shows confusion about a confetti-throwing incident, likely satirizing miscommunication or misunderstandings between neighbors. **"Advantage of Proving Superiority"** jokes about corporal punishment ("two lickings in place of one"), reflecting period attitudes toward discipline. **"A Withering Glance"** is a brief verse about a dog named Spark hit by a car—dark humor typical of the era. The remaining items are short humorous sketches and advertisements. The overall tone reflects turn-of-the-century American urban middle-class anxieties and period humor conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OVER THE FIRE-ENGINE HOUSE TELEPHONE. 66 TLJELLO, hello!’ shouted H the fireman on the en- gine-house end of the telephone, in answer to a long ring. “ Hello!”’ came back in fem- inine ton Is this the fire de- what is it?” “ Well, [want to inform you that my yard runs right up to the walk that runs along the side of Cummings’s walk next door" “IT guess you've got the wrong number, ma’am.’” “You said this was the fire department, didn’t you?” “Yes; but "—— “Well, I want to say that I'm trying very hard to raise a respectable yardful of grass and have lately planted grass seed as far as the Cummingses’ walk. Then, besides the grass seed, I planted only yesterday on the Cummingses’ side of the yard some sweet peas, golden glows and’ “I say, ma'am, you are mistaken in the telephone num- ber. This” “Isn't this the fire depart- ment It is; but” “Very well. Now I want to say further that, however careless our neighbors, the Cumming: are with their lawn and flowers, we are very, very much the other way. In fact, a pretty lawn, adorned with a variety of flowe! is what I and my husband are striving every day to accomplish; and we want our yard to appe clear up to the Cum- * sidewalk as i ible to have it. Why, I wouldn't any more allow a person to step on my grass seed or sweet peas or” “For heaven's sake, ma'am, what has this to do with the fire department?” “Oh, well, I want to inform is po Mrs, Jentins— The cook—"* O' Mrs. Jenkins (e you that our house is No. 200 School Street, and that the Cummingses’ house next door is afire. Now, don’t let your firemen trample "* But the fireman had dropped the receiver. CHARLES ©. MUL The coot—* Oi cooked it, av coorse ; an’ ye all qieKt rs INFORMATION WAN Ticket agent—" W We 1, what is it? Don't keep the other people waiting.” "| merely wish ter know, sir,.if de nort’-bound trough freight is URAL MISTAKE. of confetti I bought for Freddie yesterday 2” w it wor only fer Freddie. ‘There's half av it left, though.” became of the rest?” ad it fer yer breakfist this marni ADVANTAGE OF PROVING SUPERIORITY. 66 PPA," boo-hooed the chastised son, ‘if 1 had let Willie Sim- monds lick me, instead of me licking him, would you've whipped me just the same? “Yes; but remember that in such a case you would be get- ting two lickings in place of one!” CONCLUSIVE. First doctor —** Do you consider the operation absolutely nec essary?” Second doctor —** Surel: out what ails him is to hav ‘The only way we can possi 4 post-mortem. A WITHERING GLANCE. ONCE had a doggie named ark, t with an auto at dark, nce Who r It gave him a gh ‘That pressed out his pants, And tore off a part of his bark. JOHNNY'S CAREER AS AN OFFICE BOY. ONDAY, hired. ‘Tuesday, tired. Wednesday, fired. convaiont suet company, comicbooks.com