Judge — June 13, 1908 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE JOSEP NIN YANKEE PIUN Asa pretty, sweet-voie Asa light and graceful da Asa belle that knows no You're a prime A-1 entrancer z ) DISCOVERER WOULD N ANGULAR man, whose ch A eye and a rusty frock coat, investment concern, Through office boy, h _* Lwish te “that will revolutionize the 4 “What is it?" asked the fin touched the little push butto “You are doubtless av Present an idea," neler; tree whose sap consists of ST have heard of thi “Well, my ide ful valley of the Amazon up to t hurricanes aw “What then This ch a the Natural Churn Company (Ine.), ¢ lars "* Just then the king splant this southern nes would ce ring, would produ rks rushed Fr Par, did ye know OF wor “ How th’ divil kin thot be, A NATURAL CHURNER. AN AMAZON TREE. { characteristics were a wild ered the offic ome fluk: ate offi itor said, without p: y industry of this country. but, even as he spol on his desk marked «that down on the A sof milk.” st of America, whe: tinually shake this tree." grade of butter! pitalized at five million dol- NOT Mason non, whin ye jist towld me ye hod a woife an’ tin childer?” STRETCHING A JOKE. NCE there was a country boy who O came to the city to forge his way in the world. He secured a position in a wholesale grocery, working conscientiously and faithfully. By stint and sacrifice he saved anice portion of his earnings, until at the end of two years he had about two hun- dred dollars in the bank to his credit. Coincident with this date chronicled above, a well-dressed and smooth-talking agent of a Nevada gold-mining company came along and met the country boy. After some cl descriptions regarding the marvels of wealth buried in the shaft of a certain mountain and the immense quantities of glittering treasures dragged from the bowels of the earth, the two the tray of his trunk. A month passed and then a letter came. name of the Nevada mining company. Moral. children threaten to put him into an asylum,” White nor a drunkard."’ “No; Greene but he is an orphan hundred dollars was transferred from the bank to the agent, and a pretty engraved share of stock with the name of the country boy upon it was carefully packed away in On the outside of the envelope was the On the inside was a check for one thousand dollars, the first monthly payment on one share of stock. Some humorists try to carry a joke too far. “ Ninety-five-year-old Mr, Golders is determined to marry again, and his But they can’t get him into any asylum; the old man is neither a lunatic es, here's er fool ness is fatal.” JOUN HL ME NEKLY. of @ prominent tof the on the n there is a KENTUCKY The new customer—* You Milkman—** Wa-al, thet’s nat Now (addicted to nic stand by to repel be Landlady's son what's meant b M weome (sad) ENTIRELY FREE. Tk seems to be Our ee A “STAND-BY” ALL RIGHT. ing his dessert) BRED, blue. ¢ pastured on blue yra “Say, pardner, ed prunes!" A LONG STAY EXPECTED. “ prusnres. quest to mak “All right, pa. I have just wound that eight-day clock. Will you please wind it again before that young man goes?”* I have a re- ACTS DAYTIMES. . Knox Why did ep to her as a great Mrs, Bangs —** Why, a good many of her acquaint ances think she is a perfect lady.”* UNKIND. Poet-—* Have t poem?”* “T trust that I you read