Judge — December 28, 1907 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN EXCELLENT COURSE. THIS is not the hoary-bearded tale of the raw recruit who halted the officer of the day in the middle of the stream and forced him to dismount and wade through the water to be recognized, although there he a similarity of settings. = A cavalry “rookie,” on his first night's tour, was approached by the officer, and, after demanding his special and general orders, and asking a number of more or less reasonable questions, wound up by requesting the guard’s method of procedure if he were to see a steamboat coming toward him across the parade-ground. To which the rookie respectfylly replied, “I'd quit drinking, sir." A HELPFUL CHILD. LITTLE Frank, watching nurse empty a hot-water b: “It keeps the sides apart, so water wil! run into it easily. Later in the day Frankie was discovered holding between his knees a lean, stray kitten, while, with cheeks distended, he blew down its throat through a tin pea-shooter. “What are you doing ?” nurse cried, rescuing the tortured cat. asked why she blew air into it. “Keepin’ her sides apart, so’s she can d'ink mil sponded the young philosopher. re- Beggar. from dyin’ THE NEW-YEAR’S DREAM OF JIMMIE JINKS. IN THE FLAT. Wifey—" The room actually s-seems to be getting w-warmer.” Hubby— Yes. I can hear the janitor in the base- ment making heated remarks to his wife.” LET US LOAF A LITTLE, ] HAVE sung the song of striving, Of the struggling, of arriving, ‘Of making of one’s self a horse and mounting him and driving. But now let's cease ; Let's look for peace. Let's forget the mark of money, Let's forget the love of fame. Life is ours and skies are sunny. What is worry but a name? Let's sit down and whiff and whittle ; Let us loaf and laugh a little (Here my youngest spoiled the rhyme By running to me for a dime.) T have sung the joy of doing, Of the pleasure of pursuing, How life is like a woman and our rule and r6lé is wooing. But now, oh. let Us cease to fret. Let us cease our vain desiring ; Water 's better than Cliquot. What is honor but perspiring? Wealth ‘s another name for woe. Let us spread out on the clover, Just too lazy to loll over — (Here my wife brought in the news ‘That all the children needed shoes.) Thave sung the song of action, Of the sweet of satisfaction Of pounding, pounding, pounding opposition to a fraction. But now let's quit ; Let's rest a bit. Money only makes us greedy ; Life's success is but a taunt. He alone is never needy “ Mister, would yer give a poor man a quarter t’ keep him Stranger—* | wouldn't give him a nickel. I'm an undertaker.” Who has learned to laugh at want. Let us loaf and laugh and wallow, Too much work to even swallow—— : FRIENDLY. (Here's the mail, and bills are curses. Sue Per—'Is there a refrain to that song you are humming?" I must try to sell these verses!) a Sue Brerre—‘' Yes, indeed.” EDMUND VANCE COOKE, ‘Sue Per—*'| should love to hear you refrain.” A fox who was awfully y's : i Saw a dog of remarkabie si's. He ran a full mile, Then said with a smile, “ That canine needs specs for his i's."* BAD POLICY. comicbooks.com