Judge — December 28, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIGH LIVING AT LOW EXPENSE. * How Is It you keep eggs at fifteen cents a dozen when your fresh ones are so expensive ?"" “Well, you see, mum, we has to pervide for them as got used to lux- uries before the financial stringenty struck ‘em." HE. WAS CURIOUS. HEN the street-car was nearing the end of the line the old fellow who for some time had been nervously fidgeting around in his seat arose and sat down beside an elderly -looking woman and said, “ T want you to excuse me, ma‘am, for asking you a ques- tion, I'm no old masher, but a plain, common-sense person like yourself, and I guess there ‘Il be no harm done if we talk a few minutes.” “You appear to be a gen- tleman, sir,” she replied as she looked « What is it you wished to know 2?” «Ever since I was a boy, he continued, “I have always let my curiosity get the better of me, and I can't help it to this day. Now, I'm just a little curious to know why you asked for a transfer when you got on the car and then failed to use it.” “Oh, that’s it, eh? Well, I'll tell you. I was going to stop off at Cousin Emma's to"— “Is your Cousin Emma married ?" he interrupted her to ask. “Lands, yes! She's been married twenty years, but her husband has been dead for "—— “What did he die of?” «« Why, it was pneumonia, I think. But as I was saying, I intended to get off and see if Emma's canary-bird is still alive, and "—— “ What is the matter with the bird ?” he interrupted again. “Tt has some trouble that we can’t seem to treat rightly; but I saw Mr. Bush- by "— « Who is he?” “Why, he’s our druggist, and as he has twelve birds of his own he "—— «What kind are they ?” over. * All canaries, I think. He put me up some liquid stuff to give "—— “What is the name of it?” “I don't think there was any name on the bot- tle, I left it home on the piano, and "—— your piano an up- right or a square 2" «It’s an upright.” “ What did it cost?” “1 think Henry paid $300 for it; but "—— “Did he pay it in in- stallments or cash down ?” “He paid in install- ments ; but as [""—— “How much a month ay, Took here, sir!” broke in the woman as she suddenly realized that she was talking to a perfect stranger, “I'm willing enough to answer a few TIME'S LAMENT. Oto Dr. Time—'*See here, Dan; | wish you'd be more careful and take better aim. Why, | haven't had a moment's rest since the day | was born— just been busy every minute mending broken hearts.”” & HE SAW TROUBLE AHEAD. Orrice-sor—'* Well, what d'ye want?" Poet—"*| wish to Orrice-soy—"* I'm dis'Il do Jest as well.”" submit a poem to the editor."* JUDGE'S FAVORITES. SAIDIE HARRIS IN “THE TALK OF NEW YORK. New York may talk in sombre wise On subjects sad or shady: But glad our mood and bright our eyes Whene’er we lock at Saidie. questions if it will make you any easier in your mind; but if you think I'm going to sit here and tell you all about my furniture and my relations, and the story of my life, you have made a big mistake. Probably you would like to know if my brother Frank has red hair, and "—— “ Has he, ma‘am ?” But at this juncture the car came to the end of the line, and although the old fellow who was just a little curious looked at her appealingly, she refused to answer any more questions, and marched out of the car and up the street in silence. ON HOARDING. HE foolish virgin in her bower doth sit, Lacking, I know not, tenderness or wit, Hoarding her kiss through all the glad spring days. Soon winter comes, when none shall sue for-it. bo Amk glad yer come. I couldn't git off ter see de football game dis afternoon, but comicbooks.com