Judge, 1907-11-30 · page 6 of 16
Judge — November 30, 1907 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story satirizes a common con scheme of the era. A shabby stranger approaches a well-dressed fat man carrying a valuable suitcase on a ferry, pretending to mistake him for "John Snodgrass of Secaucus." When corrected, the con artist feigns embarrassment, then gradually manipulates the victim through flattery and reverse psychology—repeatedly saying he'd normally ask to borrow money but fears mortification. The fat man, reassured and sympathetic, essentially invites the loan himself. The satire targets both the con artist's manipulative tactics and the victim's gullible vanity. The title "Tight Money Market" suggests financial desperation that makes people vulnerable to such schemes. This reflects early 1900s concerns about urban con games and the psychology of financial persuasion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A TIGHT MONEY MARKET. 'T WAS on a late boat crossing the Hoboken ferry. There were only three or four passengers in the men’s cabin. Qne was a small man, whose nose was red, and who was clad mostly in long linen duster and faded automobile cap. Notwithstand- ing the number of vacant seats the cabin had to spare, the small man, after a deliberate inspection of the interior, went to the far corner and sat down in a seat next to a fat man with a big valise. «+ John Snodgrass of Secaucus, how are you to-night ?” exclaimed the small man, The fat man stared a moment at the speaker and then said, “Tam not John Snodgrass of Secaucus, but I am quite well to- night.” “Not John Snodgrass of Secaucus ?” ejaculated the introducer of the subject, apparently greatly surprised. «* Why, are you sure 2” “Well, I guess I ought to know who I am!" exclaimed the pro- prictor of the valise, glaring at his inquisitor. MORE OF A MAN THAN SHE REALIZED. Mrs. Barer—"' Mrs. Brown's son has just had his appendix removed."* Mrs. Baker (enviously)— 1 didn't think he had it in him."* A PUBLICITY BUREAU. “Say, Eb, why don't ye advertise yer gineral store th’ way them city store-keepers does?" “I don't hev to, Josh. My wife's a member of th’ sewin’ circle an‘ th’ Dorcus Sassiety.” “Certainly, sir—certainly! To be sure!” replied the small man, fanning himself with his automobile cap. ‘+ But, mercy! how could I have been so mistaken? Why, if I had gone on with what I had on my mind to say I would have been mortified beyond measure. I was so sure you were John Snodgrass of Secaucus,” ° «Mistakes like that frequently happen,” said the fat man, softening, and looking as if he felt sorry for the embarrassment the small man's error had sub- jected that impulsive individual to. «Yes, I know,” said the small man meekly. «It is not the mistake that I deplore so much, The thought of the mortification I would have suffered if Thad gone on and done what I had on my mind and then found that you were not John Snodgrass of Secaucus is what annoys me. Mercy!" : The fat man bowed and said he was glad the small man had discovered his error in time to save him that mortification. But the small man seemed unable to get over it. : “Yes, indeed,” he continued. ++I don’t know how it came that I paused on this occasion, for I always go right up to John Snodgrass of Secaucus and without ceremony say, ‘Loan me a dollar until to-morrow.’ Now, if I had done that to-night, and after you had loaned me the dollar I had discovered you were not John Snodgrass of Secaucus, just see how deadly my mortification would have been! Mercy! it makes me cold to think of it!" And the small man quit fanning himself and drew the linen duster closer about him. ‘The man with the valise assured him with a smile, but positively, that there would have been no occasion whatever for him to have had cause for mortifica- tion on that score. «Thanks, thanks !" exclaimed the small man, raising his cap and letting the linen duster flow free. ** You are yery kind. But I don’t know that I ought to accept it, even until to-morrow. If you were only John Snodgrass of Secau- cus, now! You are exceedingly like him in both looks and manner—exceed- ingly like him !" The fat man bowed, but his smile was missing. The boat was nearing the slip. ran “If, as you say, my fear of being mortified beyond measure if I had gone at you as John Snodgrass of Secaucus is groundless,” said the small man blandly, ++I will put the thought aside and accept the loan ; but only until to-morrow, ? remember—only until to-morrow !"* The fat man grabbed his valise and hurried for- ward to the deck, looking back once or twice to see if the small man was in pursuit. He was not. He sat still and watched the fat man as he disappeared across the gang-plank. Then he rose, fanning himself vigor- ously with his cap. . “It is singular nowadays how tight the money market is !" said he. TABLOID MOTHER GOOSE. HERE was a tabloid man, And he walked a tabloid mile. He found a tabloid sixpence Upon a tabloid style. He bought a tabloid cat, Which caught a tabloid mouse, And they all lived together Ina little tabloid house. ED Morr, AN OVERSIGHT. “+1 thought you sald you could lick Dinny with one hand in your pocket ?"* “Oh, but I forgot to put my hand in my pocket.” comicbooks.com