Judge — November 9, 1907 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ENOUGH, MET a litte Pittsburgh girl. She was twenty-one, she said, And she had goggles o'er her eyes, ‘A dust-cap on her head. “ My little maid,” T said, “pray tell Me where you've spent Your time.” She answered, “I have toured Upon the continent.” “* And how was Paris?” then I asked. But vigorously she fanned Her red-rimmed eyes. It was quite plain She did not understand. “« Did you see Rome?" I asked in vain. “« And how was Italy?” She shook the dust from out her clothes And vaguely gazed at me. “ Perhaps,” I ventured, ‘Spain you saw, Madrid—a grand old place?” Maybe at Monte Carlo you" — No light broke o'er her face. «Oh, little maid, don’t keep it bac! Tell me—just where you wen She raised her head quite haughtily— “ We toured the continent. “ What more do you desire than this, Oh, stranger? Rest content. We did not see a single place ; We toured—the continen SURE TO FOLLOW. Bronson—" What makes you think we will have an open winter?” Woodson—“ My wife has just purchased an expensive set ot furs.” IT WAS NOT TO BE. AS THEIR wedding-day approached they sat down one evening to fig- ure a bit on household expenses. He got out pencil and paper and put down coal and wood and gas and rent; but as they came to provisions a worried look appeared on his face. “Ah ‘spec’ it’s gwine ter cost a heap ter feed us, Angelina," he remarked with a deep sigh as he paused to sharpen his pencil. “Huh! Doan’ yo' ‘spec’ Ah kin cook widout wastin’ ?” she asked. “Yo yes’ go on now an’ put down wot we'll hab fo’ one Sunday din- nah, an’ yo'll dun see it ain't gwine ter cost sich a heap, ‘kase Ah’ll make wot's left ober las’ all week. Go on, ‘Rastus, an’ den we'll fig- ger on de price later. Now, one five-pound chicken.” “Un-huh, mah lub.” «One quart ob potatoes.” *Un-huh, mah empress.” “One loaf ob bread.” “ Un-huh, angel ob paradise.” “One can ob tomatoes.” Un-huh, my pea “One can ob co’ “Un-huh, mah rosebud.” A quart ob onions.” Un-huh, queen ob kings.” “One dozen bananas.” “ Un-huh, gem ob rubies.” + A pot ob coffee.” “Un-huh, mah pink dove. “ An‘ a mince-pie. Well, Ah reckon dat’s about all. An’ now "—— “ Hol’ on, dar, Angelina!” he interrupted as he looked over the list.“ Yo's dun made a big mistake yere.” “ How's dat ?” she asked. “Why,” he said, “yo's only dun named wot Ah gin- erally eats mahself fo’ Sunday dinnah. Wot yo’ gwine ter hab?" She looked at him speech- less with astonishment for a Kosason HENQlER. . A WISE PRECAUTION. Feroiwao—'‘ Can you let me have a horse this afternoon? I want to ride over to Dopeville and dine with a few friends.”’ Liveryuan—"' Sure! But If you're golng to dine you'd better have the mare. She can find her way home.” moment or two; then, realizing that with his appetite they could never marry on fourteen dollars per week, she uttered a shriek that was heard all over the neighborhood and swooned at his feet. A PRIMER. GEE the man and woman entering the Great Dry Goods Emporium. The man looks very sad. The woman looks supremely happy. Why does the man look sad? He is going in to buy some- thing. Why does the woman look happy? For the same reason. HOW IT’S DONE. Mrs. Post—"' But how do you avoid making visits that you don't want to pay?” Well, | always send word that I’m coming.” en es ‘And then they always write back that they won't be at home. comicbooks.com