Judge — November 2, 1907 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AND THE PUP STOPPED PANTING. “Nannette, I'am ready to take Rover out, and you haven't pressed his pants!"* TOO PARTISAN TO HOLLER. OLONEL W. P. THORNE, the present lieutenant. governor of Kentucky, is one of the best campaigners and storytellers to be found in Kentucky, One of the best he is telling in the present campaign runs as fol- lows: It was just after W. O. Bradley was elected governor of Kentucky, in 1905, and the Republicans in my county were holding a big ratification meeting. Brass bands, all kinds of floats and banners, and hundreds of men and women and boys had been parading the streets. A young girl claimed that, while standing on her front porch, which was almost covered by vines and foliage of different kinds, she was repeatedly hugged and kissed by a young man whom she hardly knew. A warrant was sworn out for her assailant. He was arrested, and it was my duty as commonwealth’s attorney to prosecute him. John Carroll, who is at presenta judge of the Kentucky Court of Ap- peals, had been employed to defend him. I soon finished my examination of the witness, and turned her over to Carroll for cross-examination. «What night was this ?* thundered Carroll. Thursday night,” answered the witness. “ «Thursday night, you say? What time of night?” About eight o'clock.” “ «That was about the time the parade was passing your house.’ “Yes, sir; the parade was just passing my house.’ “+ Streets full of people ?” “+-Yes, sir; the streets were full of people." “ «Did you ever cry out or scream 2° “ «No, sir; I did not.’ “Will you please tell this jury,’ asked Carroll with rising voice, ‘with the streets thronged with people and this man hugging and kissing you against your will, as you claim, why you never uttered a single cry for help or assistance ” “Yes, sir, I will tell the jury, and everybody else, that you'll never ketch me hollerin’ at no Republican getherin’ !'” A PRACTICAL HEIRESS. Se T)ARLING,” he asked as he drew his fiancée closer to him, “am I the only man you ever kissed ?” “Charles,” she replied somewhat testily, “I would like to ask you a few questions before we go any further. You are no doubt aware of the fact that papa is worth seve:al million dollars, aren't you?” “ Yeyes." “You understand, no doubt, that when he dies all of that vast fortune will be left to me?” “Yeyes.” “You know that I have $500,000 in cash in the banks ?” “ And own half a million dollars’ worth of property 2” “Yeyes.” «And many shares of stocks and bonds?” «'¥-ves.” “ And that my diamonds are valued at $100,000?” “Yeyes.” “ And my horses and automobiles at $75,000 2" “Yeyes.” « And my yachts at $50,000?” Yeyes.” “ And my dogs at $25,000?" “Then, for goodness sake! why don’t you talk sense? What difference would it make to you if I had kissed a thousand men before I met you?" He hemmed and hawed and stammered and blushed, and tried THE SOUVENIR CRAZE. Par (just over}—"* Do ye moind phat Ol be afther bringin’ home—all these cool- ered suvenirs? They was givin’ ‘em away on th’ cayrs.”” to think of a suitable reply, but finally had to give it up; and when the great heiress began to talk of something else he heaved a deep sigh of relief, and swore to himself that he would be more careful in the future. PRUDENTIAL. +4)MJRS. WINDSOR is a prudent woman, isn't she?” “Very. She always lives within her alimony.” THE THRILLING STORY OF A “PEN-AND-INK" DRAWING. comicbooks.com