Judge, 1907-11-02 · page 6 of 16
Judge — November 2, 1907 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Much Thanks"** is a poem mocking the performative gratitude of women. It depicts a man repeatedly helping a woman (retrieving hatpins, returning a handkerchief, offering his seat), each time receiving effusive thanks. The satire suggests women's expressions of gratitude are insincere social rituals—they thank multiple men in identical ways, implying the sentiment is hollow rather than genuinely felt. **"Plus or Minus?"** is a brief joke about gender differences between American cities, with the punchline playing on women's supposed ignorance. **"The Modern Way"** contrasts old and new generations regarding marriage announcements—likely satirizing how American attitudes toward courtship had changed. **"One Effect of Smoking"** mocks a husband's defensive spending justification: he claims his cigar expenses actually represent smaller portions of his wife's dresses, bonnets, furniture, and luxuries—inverting the blame for household extravagance onto his wife rather than his smoking habit. The overall tone reflects period stereotypes about women as frivolous spenders and users of male courtesy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MUCH THANKS. : GUE sat beside me at the play ; She stood beside me in the ear, I knew her not at all. And we were strangers quite. But in a coy and careless way —_—‘I wasn't going very far, She let her hat-pins fall And so I thought I might Beneath the seat between my feet. Give up my seat to rest her feet. Of course I had to crawl. (Now, wasn't that polite?) And as I handed them to her As from the overhanging strap (Ah, happy finger-touch !) She loosed her frantic clutch, She said to me, she said, said she, She said to me, she said, said she, “Ob, thank you—very much!” + Oh, thank you—very much !” She passed me on the avenue, As promenaders pass. Her dainty kerchief, dotted blue, And airy-light as gas, She dropped behind. I strove to find, And found it, for the lass. And as I placed it in her hand, Profaned with gutter-smutch, She said to me, she said, said she, “Ob, thank you—very much !” Now, this was not one woman lone, I hope some time before I go But these were ladies three ; To fill a tomb or urn, And many more from zone to zone ‘The ladies may not thank me so— Have thus been served by me For thanks I do not yearn. And other men who're helpful when Yet if they don’t, stay dead I won't— ‘They cannot help but be. I surely shall return! And ever thus we get their thanks I shall return from out the pit, (It surely beats the Dutch). And haply one may touch ‘They always say them this-a-way, My ghost and say, the same old way, “Ob, thank you—very much!” “Oh, thank you—very much !” ROBERTUS LOVE. PLUS OR MINUS? ‘ wats the difference between the Chicago subway and the New York 2” - A WOMAN'S WAY. “ They've found out the New Yor! Burctar—"* Jest like a woman, ter keep a whiskey-bottle filled wid turpentine in de sideooard!"" THE MODERN WAY. First American father—“\ hear your daughter is going to be ONE EFFECT OF SMOKING. married.” #¢ ABOUT how much do you usually spend for cigars?” asked Second American father —“ So | understand.” the well-meaning friend. The man with the perfecto removed it from between his lips and waved it in the air to emphasize the points as he brought them out in his reply, “ How much do I spend for cigars? Oh, it will appall you! For the past two years T have remembered all the things that have been said to me about my extravagance in this line, and I find that in a year I smoke up + My wife's dresses, “ My wife's bonnets, « Extra outfits for the children, “ A horse and buggy, “A leather davenport, “A new porch, “ The expense of putting in hot-water heat, “ Four oriental rugs, “ An automobile, “A trip to Europe, « A motor-boat, “ Membership in two country clubs, “A fur-lined overcoat and a silk hat, « A hundred-dollar bath-tub, * And a box each week at the theatre.” “How extraordinary !" exclaimed the friend. “ You surely are jesting.” “Don't take my word for it. Every time any of these matters has come up at my house some of my family or friends has mildly hinted that they very well could be obtained with the money I spend for cigars.” hapnarin NEW YORK plumber recently died, = leaving $100,000. This would seem to WHAT IS FAME? 5 “Who is dis yer Pasteur?” show that there is money to be made in “Don't yer know? Dat's de guy wot cures dog-bites."" hitting the pipe. comicbooks.com