Judge — October 26, 1907 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HISTORICAL CALENDAR FOR OCTCBER. CTOBER 1st.—Nothing of special historical impor- tance recorded on this date. Good day to be horn on. Candidates for future greatness will govern them- selves accordingly. October 2d.—Brigham Young arrested, 1871. Don't know what for. Probably deserved it. October 3d.—Captain Jack hung, 1873. Bad Indian, and could have been spared several years sooner. October 4th.— Alexander Selkirk exiled to the island of Juan Fernandez, 1704. A good deal of sympathy has heen wasted on Aleck, and lots of people have even gone $0 far as to shed tears while reading those touching lines beginning, «Iam monarch of ail I survey.” October 5th.—Lord Cornwallis died, 1805, aged sixty- seven. One of the most prominent and popular acts in the life of Cornwallis was his celebrated surrender at York- town, October 1gth, 1781. October 6th.—Tennyson died, 1892. noble sentiment, Author of that “Kind hearts are more than coronets, And simple faith than Norman blood.” October 7th.—See October st. October 8th.—Alaska ceded to the United States, 1867. A gold-brick that turned out to be on the other fellow. October gth.—Action under way to bust the Standard A WOMAN'S CHOICE. ** Would you like a pretzel, lady?” “Yes. I'll take that one on the bottom of the stick." Oil. Been so for some time. Soon ’s it’s busted in one state, flows through a pipe-line and escapes to another state, 1907. October 1oth.—Ditto. October 11th.—Dr, Kane returned from his Polar ex- plorations, 1855. Good luck. Some never do. Getting so nowadays Polar explorers stay here so they won't have the trouble and expense of returning. October 12th.—Columbus discovered America, 1492. Later got what was coming to him, It is now realized that Chris made a bad break in discovering this country. October 13th.—Capture of Queenstown, 1812; Murat shot, 1815; New York banks suspend and grand financial panic begins, 1857. Shows you mustn't monkey with an unlucky number. October 14th.—William Penn born, 1644. Penn will be instantly recognized as the gentleman who traded a red shawl to the Indians for Pennsylvania. The Indians were dead easy, and—— N.B—Look at Pennsylvania and Philadelphia and the Pittsburgh millionaires to-day. A GOLF THEME. Imwerant musican—" Och, October 15th.—Another open date. October 16th.—Same. October 17th.—Still after Standard Oil, 1907. October 18th.—Continentals and British glared at each other and got ready to So did Kellogg and Standard Oil, 1907. October rgth.—Battle begun and ended. fight, at Yorktown, Virginia, 1781. other case mentioned above. October 2oth.—Another blank. October 21st.—King Richard III, of England, born 1452. thing that could possibly have happened to him. October 22d.—Nothing doing. October 23¢1,—Same. October 24th.—Ditto. delphia to move in that time. October 26th.—Rouen captured, 1562. French, October 27th.—Joseph Worcester died, 1858. years before he died, and set himself up as an authority on pronunciation; and yet he spelled his own name W-o-r-c-e-s-t-e-r and pronounced it Wooster ! October 28th.—Tweed Ring trials body rested up, We're after other kinds of game in these times. October 29th.—Date still open. October 3oth.—John Adams born, 1735. President of the United States and father of another, John Quincy Adams, the sixth President. N. B.— Adams family were no third-termers. October 31st.—Another open date. Final chance for alive man to emblazon his name on the pages of history and patent-medicine almanacs by getting himself born on this date and then show- ing the world what he can do. WILL $. GroLRY. NOT SO RESOURCEFUL AS MOST GIRLS. Evelyn—«Some of our proverbs are so ridiculous. For instance,‘ Where ignorance is bliss * "—— Ethel—« What's the matter now ?” Evelyn— Why, you know, Fred gave me my engagement-ring last week, and I simply can’t find out how much it cost him.” NOT INTENTIONAL, Horace—"' Reggy went on a bear- hunt and met with an accident.” Howard — Goodness! was it?” Horace—" He shot one.” What Fine opening for a hustler to get his name into print either by being born or dying on one of these dates. October 25th.—Philadelphia founded on the banks of the Schuylkill, 1682. Over two hundred years have passed and she is still there. dot oldt sveed chorus, ‘ Dearie ’!"* That's where it differed from the This was the worst It was to anybody. Can't expect Phila- This was a Rouenous affair for the He wrote a dictionary some begun, 1871. All over now, and every- OLD SOAKERS GET SATURATED WITH CAFFEINE. When a person has used coffee for a number of years and gradually declined in health, it is time the coffee should be left off in order to see whether or not that has been the cause of the trouble. A lady in Huntsville, Ala., says she used coffee for about forty years, and for the past twenty years has had severe stomach trouble. «I have been treated by many physicians, but all in vain. Everything failed to give relief. Was prostrated for some time, and came near dying. When I recovered sufficiently to partake of food and drink, | tried coffee again, and it soured on my stomach. “I finally concluded that coffee was the cause of my troubles and stopped using it. I tried tea in its place, and then milk, but neither agreed with me. Then I com- menced using Postum, had it properly made, and it was very pleasing to the taste, “Lhave now used it four months, and my health is so greatly improved that I can eat almost anything I want and can sleep well, whereas before I suffered fo: years with insomnia. “T have found the cause of my troubles and a way to get rid of them. You can depend upon it, I appreciate Postum.” “There's a Reason.” Read The Road to Wellville,” in packages. comicbooks.com