Judge — October 19, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“DONNER UND BLITZEN.” “The kaiser is so mach in love with Americanism that he is bored by the frummeries of the court, and frequently, daring cabinet J] mectines. shows his distaste for the proceedings by playing with his dogs as if mo one was present.—Duily mews item. 3 THE kaiser frowned and he bit his lip ‘The kaiser welcomed Vanderbilt As he sat in his chair of state, As he sat in his chair of state, For he seemed to have lost his political grip Who advanced with his tile at a rakish tilt As he sat in his chair of state. To the foot of the chair of state. ++ I’m bored to death with national spats And he said, “Good-morning, Bill, old man!” And the talk of dried-up bureaucrats."", And the kaiser drawled, “Why, howdy, Van?” And he dubbed his ministers awful flats Like a born and bred American As he sat in his chair of state. ‘As he sat in his chair of state. The kaiser called for his favorite pup ‘The kaiser is son of a hundred kings As he sat in his chair of stace, As he sits in his chair of stat For he thought of a plan to stir things up And he may be numerous other thi As he sat in his chair of state. As he sits in his chair of state. So he trained his dog with gestures neat But the feeling ‘s growing general that To get mixed up with the statesmen's feet, He's got the makings under his hat And he laughed till he tumbled off his seat Of a darn good Yankee demucrat ‘As he sat in his chair of state. As he sits in his chair of state. REGINALD G. SMRLLIK. AS YOU PLEASE. F A person asks you, “ Why are clever people so homely ?” you can take it as a compliment or not, as you please. AMAZING GRACE. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. LITTLE Harriet, aged two and a half years, had just made her début at the family breakfast-table and heard her papa say grace for the first time. She watched him with rapt attention, and then, holding her own little mush-bowl over toward him, said pleadingly, ESTELLE CHRISTY IN ‘THE GAY WHITE WAY."" The twinkling little evening star That shines above the earth so far Is such poor stuff for a poet's lay “Papa, say it to When your star shines In the ** gay mine.” white way. HIS JOKE. THE Maker of Jokes was trying to write a funny paragraph. He scanned the daily papers, column after column, for a new idea. He was about to give up in despair when his eye caught a short paragraph about John D. and his big fine. Then he commenced to think real hard. Flinging his game leg over one of the arms of his revolving chair, he ran over a bunch of old themes to see if he couldn't fit one to this particular case, No use. He was as dull as a clergyman’s lawn-mower: He commenced to think again, and then suddenly wrote: De Style— How did John D. like what Judge Landis did?" Gunbuste ne.” Bosh! too babyish, He destroyed it at once and immedi- ately commenced thinking in another direction. Aha! At last he had something that seemed good. He wrote: AT THE MINSTREL SHOW. Tambo—* tah Interlockcanal, why am John D. Oilfellah waitin’ ter be fined ag’in?’ Inter locutor—**1 don't know, Tambo. Why is John D. Rockefeller waiting to be fined again?” Tambo—**'Cause dat would make a parafine (pair 0’ fine).”” STRENUOUS COLLEGIANS. é " ‘ ; The f th He be ised old Ned iF Lb And the Maker of Jokes immediately sends this off with a aftertheshow Be OS BEd OF around town last aight, batch of other stuff, wondering if the editor will accept or reject “Yep. Some of em were arrested." i rs 7 ¥ “Did they lock ‘em up?” it. If you have read this far you know at once that he has ac- “Nope: had to let ‘em go. ‘The police were afraid they'd haze the other i} cepted it. vere rrane. prisoners.”" BOTTOM FACTS. [ANDSCAPE artists like garden-hose. Pugilists have a leaning toward fancy socks. Jewelers are partial to stockings with clocks in them. As long as men are wholesouled let their hose be half. : Those who are given to worry like stockings with fretwork in them. We wonder whether our stockings wear out so quickly just because the colors are so fast. Let all your actions be above-board ; whether your stockings are open-work need not bother you. So many people in the world are hard on one an- other. Stockings are luckier—they are let down easy. ‘There may be bargains in stockings at Christmas time, but the youngsters of the family expect something else in them, NATHAN M. LEVY IN BOSTON. ses THE Emersons’ baby at all wonderful ?” ‘THE WAIL OF THE DESERTED. «A dandy! At two months old she is writing Tue rat ones—** And slim figures are all the style!" her reminiscences.” comicbooks.com