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Judge, 1907-10-12 · page 12 of 16

Judge — October 12, 1907 — page 12: what you’re looking at

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Judge — October 12, 1907 — page 12: Judge, 1907-10-12

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising** with one substantial satirical poem. The main content is "The Auto Speaks," a humorous verse personifying a battered automobile. The car blames its wrecked condition on its reckless driver—a "demon at my wheel" who drives drunk, speeds dangerously, and causes multiple collisions. The satire targets early-1900s automobile culture: reckless "speedomaniacs," intoxicated joy-riders, and public danger. The ironic point is that the car itself, not the irresponsible driver, receives blame for accidents. The poem reflects genuine contemporary anxieties about automobiles as new, chaotic threats to public safety. The surrounding ads—for whiskey (Hunter Baltimore Rye), pianos, blood poison treatments, and home-building books—are typical Judge magazine commercial content. The illustration, credited to James Montgomery Flagg, shows the car personified as a distressed figure.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FIRST OVER THE BARS AND BEST OVER THE BARS UNTER BALTIMORE There would probably be more women inventors if they were anxious to discover new wrinkles.— Chicago News. LA: should not fail to examine the merit renowned ‘SOHMER which sarpass all othe ‘Catalogue mailed on application. HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PARER. WAREHOUSE of. #2, 4. and b8 Bleecker Street BLOOD POISON FOR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS : lored Spot Wy part af the body. Haw of Eyebrows Ging oat, write for proofs of cures. too-page Book Pree. COOK REMEDY Co. 1480 MASONIC TEMPLE, Chicago, Ii., U. S.A. Vuage THE AUTO SPEAKS. I am a battered auto car, My bonnet has a dent, My frame, I fear, is badly’ sprung, My gasoline is spent ; My tires are full of punctures, too, My tonneau 's mud besplashed, My top ’s awry, and both my lamps To smithereens are smashed. Unto the garage came a man Who babbled long and much Of carburetor, sparking plug, Transmission gear, and clutch. My owner let him take me out, He gave the wheel a yank, And forth we shot into the street, And grazed a gravel bank. We struck the curb, caromed a bit, Collided with a bike, Were chased by half a dozen cops For burning up the pike. But got away, and hit a cart, And ran a woman down, Before with wild, derisive toots We cannoned out of town. He gathered friends along the way, That demon at my wheel ; They stopped at every public-house To break a yellow seal ; Then like a meteor on I sped, He couldn't keep me straight, And wabbling wildly too and fro, We blindly tempted fate. I skidded on a muddy place, And crashing through a fence, I sent them flying into space, With energy immense. Then people came from far and near. To view my twisted frame, And say with, cruel emphasis, “The auto was to blame.” We've got to suffer for the sins Of ail the tinsel sports And speedomaniacs that fill The hospitals and courts. So when you see a heap of junk That smells of gasoline, Don't fix the blame until you find Who drove the wrecked machine. —Atinna Irving in New Timer After James Montgomery Flagg. Copyright, 1907, by Judge Co. “YOURS TRULY” Photogravure in blue-black, 15 x 195. One Dollar. Are You Going To College ? If so, decorate your rooms. aed We will tell you how to do it artistically and economic- ally. FHS Send five cents for our beautiful illustrated forty-eight page catalogue of complete line. Address JUDGE COMPANY, 225 Fourth Ave., New York City BITTERS Celebrated Appetizer of ExquisiteFlavor ‘The Only Genuine BEWARE OF SUBSTITUTES Smiles that won't come off are apt to grow monotonous, Is better than foreign Champagnes but costs only half the price, as it is Ameri- can made and there is no duty or ship freight to pay. Served Everywhere ROMEIKE’S Pres cutive send you all newspaper clippings which may appear about you. your inends, oF Say eabincs on which nt to be “up to date very newspaper and periodical of importance in the Unda Stavea hod soo notices, Hiway Romance, 110-119 BEFORE YOU HUI YOUR NEW HOME SEND FOR THIS. BEAUTIFUL. $1 BOK FREE| The most liberal offer ever made by a publishing company wt & & & & for an Architect’s book of plans # ee eK ‘She 1907 EDITION JUST OUT This book will save you from $100 to $500 on if You build after one of Glenn Lyle Saxton’s ‘Original Plans. your new house SEND $1 to-day for this beantifal book “Amerionn Dwellings,” containing hundreds of teantifal homes—the only Practical, useful and complete book, of plans ever published. The plans are sold at fAgare, and will save you the service. Select your plan, send Ave, New York, a certified el plans, after deducting the $1 whieh you paid forthe Beek. Your book will not cost you one cent, and it HOW TO GET THE BOOK FREE ian gift that you will be ‘road to make room for on your Ubrary table. Send for this famous“ American Dwellings"—the only book of plans that has an intrinsic value and will eave you money. Published by Glenn L. Sax- ton, The Practical Architect, whose beaatifal and original houses are built in every evantry, even n the most remote parts of the world. We have for sale by the same architect, Supplement to “ American Dwellings,” containing hoase plans, 25 cents, comicbooks.com