Judge — October 5, 1907 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A VERY STILL DAY IN PINHOOK. ERE JUDGE—You ort to oy ben hear last week, on a Friday, an ef, D you hed, you would surtingly hev hed to laff fit to kill ovver the feerful still day we hed hear on last Friday. It beet awl the rec- ords clene out an’ evven old Grandaddy Perrick, as come hear an’ settled seventy-nine yeer ago, nevé seen nothin’ like it ner neer like it. The wind was a-blowin’ big guns at'nine o'clock in the forenoon, jest a humpin’ it good an’ plenty from the southwest an’ then, without no warnin, an’ awl ov a suddint, quickeren a wink, she stopped dead still, deadern Julius Seezer. Mayor Willson was a comin’ up the streat, facin’ the wind, a bendin’ way ovver forruds to keep from bein’ blowed backards, an’ hed jest met up with Jack Hanson a comin’ t’other way, a bendin’ backards es fur es he could to keep from bein’ blowed forruds, an’ the wind stopped so mighty quick that both ov ‘em fell flat to the sidewalk, one backards an’ one furruds, an’ Hanson he purty neer busted in the back of his hed. From then on forruds awl that thare day clene through till mornin’ ov the next day thare wa'n't the leest sign ov no wind a tall; not a smidgin, ner a whiff. Nobody nevver seen nothin’ so still no time ner nowhare. Bill Peters shot a cat fer chicken-eetin abowt ten o'clock an’ the smoke frum the gun stade right thare in the same plase whare the gun went off the hull day long an’ wuz thare at midnight fer, although you couldn’t see it then, sum ov us went out an’ smelt it jest to see ef it wus still there, an’ it wuz thare. Istuck a lath up in the ground at ‘levven o'clock in the fournoon an’ WHAT A WOMANI “* She's so intelligent and seems to know her own mind." How horribly well educated she must be!" then put a little peece ov thistle down right ovver the top ov it, in the air, six inches above the top end ov the lath, an’ by the long-horned spoon it nevver moved a mite one way ner a nuther ner up ner down an’ wuz rite thare at sevven o'clock in the evenin’, Hirum Wilkins set a j‘int ov stovepipe strate up on legs so’s he could lay A TWIN MYSTIFICATION. 1, Tuzopore Roosevett Jacxson—"‘ Foh de Lawd's sake, who eber seed a basket walkin’ ‘long on a'fence!" CERTAINLY NOT. “ Did Jones take his wife with him on his trip?”” “No.” He was traveling for pleasure.”” down on his back an’ stick his hed under it an’ look up through it an’ then he let a little balloonn rase up through the stovepipe an’ go off up into the air an’ it kep’ a rasin’ slowly, but so dern strate up that a feller could see it an hour arterwurds, er more, till it got clene up outen ov sight, by layin’ on his back an’ look- in’ up through the stovepipe. The rodes wuz so full ov dust fer abowt twelve feet high that you couldn't see acrost ‘em without gittin’ up in a tree, an’ the clerk to the hotel he went out on the porch an’ ballanced twelve wheet straws strate up on end an’ let ‘em stay thare all the arternoon long, an’ some boys klimed up onto the roof ov the mill an’ stuck a shingle with a not hole into it outen ovver the edge of the roof and then dropped musterd seed through it an’ down into a teacup sixty feet below an’ nevver a sced missed the cup. Thay wa'n't a sign ov wind to blow the breth away arter it wuz breathed out, an’ ef you didn’t move you ‘d suck it in ag'in an’ blow it out ovver an’ ovver till you wuz jest abowt smuddered. My unckle on my father’s side, James George, he lives with me an’ he hez a big nufunlan’ dog, weighs abowt 167 pound, an’ that thare dog wuz too lazy to move an‘ he mighty neer dide with smudderin’. He would git abowt awl gone an’ then my unckle would ketch him by the tale an‘ draw him a little furder along on the porch floor whare the air wuzzent used up an’ then leave him lay till he got gaspin’ hard ag’in an’ then drag him furder, er drag him back, an’ he kep’ that up awl day an’ awl night an‘ purty neer tired hisself clene out an’ purty neer wored awl the hare offen the bottom ov the dog a-draggin’ him, You surtingly ot tu hev bin hear. * Le Sueur Lyre. HEALTHY HAIR is the seat se neteey nt, painstaking Packers Tar Soap Pure as the Pines Not only cleanses the scalp, but imparts vigor to those glandular structures which are intimately concemed with the growth and vitality of the hair. Its use means a clean, healthy scalp, and lustrous hair. For a third of a century " Packer's" has been recognized as the ideal soap for shampooing. ‘The Packer Mfg. Co., New York City. comicbooks.com