Judge — September 21, 1907 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HGH LE The Champagne of Bottle BEER, Shows a greater percentage of increase in sales than any other beer in America. We were compelled to double our capacity to meet the demand. ue . . High Life Beer leaves no after effect because “ita ZY ae Oe it is absolutely pure and properly aged. {( You certainly will like it. LMM NSS Henry C. Botjer, Distributor, 353 Broadway, Long Island City, New York. HIGH LIFE; VLBEER Dy. MILWAUKEE JUST LIKE THE FLY. Note the fly in the molasses, and apply the lesson taught ; He was where he had no business, and for punishment was caught. Life is full of traps and pitfalls, set for. unsuspecting feet, But we bite and take our chances like the fly to gain the sweet. —Dallas (Texas) News. DOING TIME BY MAIL. The court— Six years’ penal servitude. You'll get a chance to learn a trade, my man.” ‘ burglar— Judge, couldn't I be per- d to learn it—er—by correspond- ence ?"— Liverpool Post. A woman has such an imagination she n almost believe her husband is as “HEY, RUBE!” There was a circus in Shelbyville, Ind., a few days ago, and the Shelbyville Vews got out a lively paper the next morning. We extract a few paragraphs from its in- teresting columns: “The parade, more than a mile in length, using the words of Mrs. Caudle, who could not express herself, was ¢ splen- differous.’ The tinseled horses, plumed riders, silver- and gold-mounted harness, gorgeous wagons, invisible animals, all added enthusiasm to the spectators who thronged the street. “One of the lady bare-back riders fell while on a horse with two companions, | a man and woman, during the perform- ance Wednesday afternoon, slightly injur- ing her left leg. She quickly remounted with a smile on her face. The left limb} was painfully bruised and strained by the| fall. ‘A man named Baker, hailing from near Smithland, engaged in a fistic en- counter with a showman at the grounds| while intoxicated on Wednesday afternoon | and was worsted in the fight. | * Israel D. Jewett and his wife and son, Dr. Earl, and family, came to Shelnyville from St. Omer Wednesday to attend the circus. “E. A. Tucker, one of the good oli hard-tisted farmers and patron and friend of the Morning News, was in the city Wednesday. “Matt Harris, from a horse Saturday, who received a kick is improving.” OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES, Small Peter Did your mother pun-| ish you for going in swimming yesterday, as she threatened to?" Small Timothy —“You bet she did. She made me take a bath."—Ex. TURNED THE TABLES. A good story is told of two Oxford un- dergraduates touring the east, who en- tered the shop of a Jew whose knowledge of English, though he spoke most other tongues, was limited. With the custo- mary carelessness of the Anglo-Saxon race when abroad one undergraduate re- marked to the other, on failing to make the Jew understand what he wanted, “The fool does not speak English !" This remark came within the radius of the Jew’s comprehension, and drew from him the following questions : “Do you spik Italian 2" to which they replied : “Do you spik Grik ?” “Do you spik Turk 2” “No.” “Do you spik Spanish ?" “Do you spik Russian ?” After a pause the old man, with con- siderable energy, ejaculated : "Me one times fool ; you five times fool !" to the complete discomfiture of the young Eng- lishmen. —Tid- Bits. is worth two in the store comicbooks.com