Judge — September 14, 1907 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHEN EXPERTS DISAGREE. REMINDED HIM. INE men had reached a ripe old age, And yet were hearty, hale and strong. nautical experience.” Each offered an opinion sage inks —« Because he is half seas over ?” Of how he chanced to live so long. Winks —" No, no; not so crude.as that, Because the bar-tender is putting the Winks—That medical gentleman hovering over the bar reminds me so of my + T'm eighty-one,” the first one said ; schooner into the dry doc. * “I live on veg’tables and bread. But had I eaten meat instead I'd now be numbered with the dead.” “Tut, tut, my friend!” the second cried. “Why, meat 's the food to put inside ‘To make you strong. I've tried it four-score years and two. Just notice how it’s pulled me through. Your views are wrong.” «+ It doesn't matter what T eat,” Spoke up the man of eighty-three. “« What keeps me well I'll gladly tell— No liquor ever entered me!” « Excuse my smile,” said number four, And from a flask they watched him pour A half a glass and then some more. « I'm eighty-five, and can't see why A man should boast of being dry. Well, as for me, I'd rather die." “ Tobacco hastens death, I ween, "” Said number five.“ You've never seen A pipe, cigar, or cigarette Between my teeth, and you can bet That's why I'm neither fat nor lean.” + T've smoked in childhood, youth and age!” Exclaimed the sixth, a wise old sage. “« I'm eighty-seven, and I say It's smoke that keeps me up to-day.” “The reason for my many years," Explained a grandsire gray, “Is my good wife, who always cheers Me on life's troubled way.” “+ T cannot see How that can be," 2tied number eight. “I have no wife. I've heard it said That getting wed Would greatly shorten up one’s ‘Then rose the last. All turned to hear. Tye listened to your theories queer. Excuse me if I disagree Vith every one ; but then, you see, I'm older than the rest, and so You must admit I ought to know. Teat meat, veg’tables and fish ; I drink and smoke whene’er I wish. I married once, survived my wife, And still find pleasure in this life. You want to know the reason why? You give it up? Well, so do I!” WILLIAM GANSON Ros. SHAKESPEARE AND THE PRESS. EWSPAPERS—Among nine bad, if one be good, there's yet one good in ten,—All's Well, 1, 3. Proprietor — Stick to your journal course !—Cymbeline, 1V., 2. Editor—O, he has fallen ina pit of ink,—Mfuch Ado, IV., 1. Reporter—The nature of bad news affects the teller.—Antony & C,, 1, 7. Correspondent—I will be correspond- ent to command.— Zempest, 1, 2. Humorist—He is wit's peddler, and retails his wares.—Love's Labor's Lost, V2. Critic—Let there be gall enough in thy ink.—Twel/th Night, I11., 2. Managing editor —Judicious, and best knows the fits of the season.—Afac- beth, V., 2. THE BOSS. Punch—Look you there! There's SSue—" I hear that Wilkins’s wife Is boss, with a capital’ B.”" no jesting.— Troilus &* Cressida, I, 2. He—* Well, | should say so! Why, if he wants to go out he has to get the children to ask their (CRORGE BIRDSEYR. mother to let him go.” comicbooks.com