Judge — August 31, 1907 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IT WAS HOT CORN. A FAT colored lady, with a tin wash-boiler standing in front of her on the sidewalk at a Sixth Ave- nue corner, had been howling to the heat-embarrassed night and the pub- lic generally that she was there in the interest of hot corn and a market. A tall man, wearing a white high hat with a black band on it, stopped in his sauntering up the avenue and remarked to the fat colored lady, + Have you corn?" **L shore has, suh,” replied the dealer in superheated maize. *eIs it hot?" inquired the tall man in the breezy hat with the sor- rowful band. ** Hot as b'ilin’ soapsuds, suh !" said the custodian of the wash-boiler and its contents, “Do you happen to know,” said the apparent customer, «* whether it is the early sweet of old Virginny ?” “+ Hones’ to de Lawd, boss, I cain't give mah wuhd fo’ dat, suh,”” replied the hot-corn matron ; «but it b'iles de ch‘ices’ kyine, an’ gits pow'ful hot, suh.”” “Ah, yes,” said the tall man. “But common, ord'nary North Car-liny corn will do that. Have you evidence that the epicurean rac- coon has tested the quality and condition of the corn in the field where this was grown? Your raccoon knows what corn is best for man to eat. Has the ‘coon been working in the field o° nights whence these ears you offer were plucked 2” Feminine voice—"* Are you home safe, Jim?" Jim—"* Yes, darling; but I had to slide for It.”" “Vo! shore done gone a heap deepuh, boss, dan I kin go in de dishin’ up ob dis hyuh co'n, suh,” said the fat colored lady. + But I knows dis hyuh co'n am pow’ful hot.” “Yes; I quite agree with you,” said the critical person in the conspicuous hat, taking off the tile, wiping his forehead with his coat- sleeve, and stepping closer to the boiler.‘ But I have a way of know- ing whether it would be likely that the epicurean raccoon has approved of the field in which this corn was grown. I will let you in on the secret if you just pass me over a couple of those ears for testing. I think two ears will be enough.” “Dem eahs, dey’s a nickel apiece, suh,” explained the colored “Two eahs fo’ a dime, suh.” “Yes, I know,” said the tall man. But, don’t you see, if I find that the corn is the sweet, juicy, milky corn of old Virginny, which is the only kind the fastidious ‘coon approves of, I will at once be war- ranted in bringing my friends around to enjoy it, and you will be com- pelled to have four boilers full here after this to supply the demand, Unless I know this by actual test, of course "— “Yo! shore is monst'us kyine, suh,” said the fat hot-corn sales- lady. JEALOUS JOHN BULL. Enouisnman (visiting Niagara Falls)—"* Ya-as, It's very fine: say, old chap, half of it belongs to England, y’know.”* lady, putting the cover back on the boiler; ++ but I reckon I doan’ ‘low no thievin’, ring-tail ‘coon ter tell me how ter brile co’n! Hot co’-o-o-n ! reckon I doan’, suh! Huh! 1 Hot co’-0-0-n !" And the man in the white hat sauntered pensively on his way. THE CRUEL MAN! Sweet young thing— No, Mr. Sprat; I cannot accept your invi- tation. T have learned what kind of a man you are. ep MoTT. Mr. Jones told papa he saw you a few moments ago ‘hitting a horse's neck.’ Oh, how could you be so cruel to a poor, dumb beast ? THE TRAVELERS. THE pusilist should travel in a box-car, The automobilist on a brake. The janitor on a flat- car. The actor on a stage. The pessimist in a sulky. ‘The aérialist in a fly. The miner on a coal- car. The teacher in a coach, The lovers in a parlor- car. The shopper on a bi- cycle. The farmer on a truck. He— Alas! Ican nev- er marry you.” She—" Why so?” He—« Because your fa- ther is in such a shady line of business,” She—" How dare you say that He— Why, didn’t you tell me yourself he was an awning-manufacturer ?” Brute !" WHAT IT Is. COMPOSITION OF THE FAMOUS FOOD. A widespread interest has been created among good livers, as to the composition of Grape-Nuts, the food that has become popular and famous the world over. It has long been known to physicians, chemists and food experts, that the starchy portion of entire wheat and barley flours is transformed into a true and very choice sugar, by the act of intestinal digestion in the human body. This sugar is identical with, and is known as grape-sugar, and it is in condition for immediate transfor- mation into blood and the necessary structure from which the delicate nerve centres are built up. A food expert followed a line of exper- iments until he produced the food called Grape-Nuts, of which grape-sugar forms the principal part, and it is produced by following Nature's processes, in a me- chanical way. That is, heat, moisture and time are the methods employed and directed by scientific facts gained in re- search, Grape-Nuts food is probably entitled to the claim of being the most perfectly adapted food for human needs in exist- ence. Certain it is that the user's delight in the flavour and the perfect action of intestinal digestion during the use of Grape-Nuts is satisfying, and the added strength of body confirms the fact. “There's a Reason.” Read ‘* The Road to Wellville,” in packages. comicbooks.com