Judge — August 31, 1907 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RECLASSIFIED, EVISE the old nomenclature, A lovely vision swells ; For Pullman palace-cars, we're told, Are dignified hotels. To follow out this simple fact, 'Tis very plain to see, The day-coach which we erstwhile knew ‘A boarding-house must be. Commuters’ trains are thus transformed Before the dazzled mind To sweet suburban cottages With vines and roses twined. A Bowery lodging is the freight— We have to quot at that. They do not run them small enough To make a Harlem flat. MC LANDBURGH WILSON. LOOKING BACKWARD. [7 1S now quite the thing to run «*looking-back- ward" columns in newspapers containing “+ newsie” items from the files of the paper dating back into the mellow shadowland of the long ago. We desire to be considered éclat in this matter, so our city editor has laid down his facile and trench- ant pen long enough to clip the following «locals from the pages of this paper, dated February 22d, 1770: A tall Indian from Johnftown Hall ftole a jug ND OF Tan Se BARoaine | (THING surrs WOULDN'T STAND ANOTHER CUT. “ This suit is fifteen dollars."* “H'm! Could you take something off that?"" “If you wish it, miss; but | think you'll find it comes above the knee now.” of apple-jack from under our fanctum-table Friday afternoon. That new gun we took on adv. from the Queenf* Armf Co. of Bofton don’t fhoot worth a cuff. VanDerBogert of the Evening 7winkler took a pot fhot at uf on Frog Alley laft evening. Van ought to get a globe fight {crewed on hif nofe then maybe he could hit Van flyck’flfland on a Calm Day. If the perfon who left a bundle of beaver fkinf at our door will drop in and make himfelf known we will credit him up on the bookf. Tim Murphy if the boff hunter of the feafon fo far. Monday he bagged a Mingo and two Cayugaf. Come on ye Nimrodf! The Village Fatherf have decided that 12 feet if wide enough for the new fireetf. If the perfon who threw an empty pewter tankard through our window Tuefday will call for it next week we will be pleafed to return it. We are having the pewter melted up into ounce bulletf by the office boy, and af foon af we get them we will pay off feveral old feoref, The edition thif week if delayed while a meffenger could go after more ink. A pafile of ignorent Senaca Indianf broke into the print fhop Thurfday night and took our ink for war paint, If the black faced truculant incubufef are on the war path looking for trouble they can find about 897 gallonf of it by taking the River Trail eaft to Cow-Horn Creek and rapping on the firft office door to the left. A young feller named Geo. Wafhington ftopped at the Freeman Inn laft'night on hif way to Ft. Stanwix. Geo. if a good mixer and if it wafn't for fome pretty fteep ftories he told during the evening we could predict quite a future for him. Yefterday afternoon Walt. Butler of Johnfton Hall burft into thif office about a minute ahead of a fit and reluctantly paying hif bill ftopped hif paper. He don't like our + taxation without reprefenta- tion" editorialf. If the Devil had not miflaid our Tory Ciub he would have miffed hif appetite for feveral other worldy thingf. ~ DON. CAMERON SHAFER. QUALIFYING. ¢4]'M going to waste a little midnight oil in study the coming weeks. My mental faculties need a brushing up "—— “Got some great literary scheme on hand, I suppose ?” “Well, a fellow’s intellectual processes require a broadening out now and then, and I'm going in for "— «+ Fresh fields and pastures new, and all that?” BEHIND THE SCENES. ‘Tue TraceDIan—" I'm going out in a new play this season, and | want my press-agent to get up some new story about me that will attract great attention.” § Tue Leapinc-Lapy—"* Why don’t you have him say you're going to act?" “Oh, I feel the need of a more general culture. As I was about to say, | am going in for a survey of the arts and sciences, for a little more poe- try to illumine my sentences, and then for the essayists for a general cultivation of style. Then ”- 3 “Then a magnum opus will result as a matter of course, and I'll get at least one presen- tation copy ?” “Oh, don’t mistake me. I'm just qualifying as head ad- vertising writer for the great department store of Brown, Jones & Co.” FORCE OF HABIT. Benham —« Your hat is on the floor, my dear,” Mrs. Benham— 1s it on straight?” APPARENTLY, the barber can't shave chins unless he chins. comicbooks.com