Judge — August 31, 1907 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY. 225 Fourrn Ave., New You. John A. Sleicher, President. A. Nichols, S Wasrarn Anvernising Orrice One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - One copy, six months. or 2 numoers - One copy, for thirteen weexs tage free to all subscribers in the United States, and in Hawaii, Porto Rico, 10 CENTS A COPY. Cane Appress,“Jupcaug.” Tex. 2214 Gramencr. rary ‘Treasurer, 225 Fourth Avenue, New York. 1313 Haris Puslding, Oricage, Mi. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: ts.00 + RSE : 135 ce. nds. Gaam, Tutuili, Samoa, and Mexico. mnt banking regulations of New York, are at a discount im that city. Taclading the Cwrmts the Philippine 1 which, wader’ Submciptions payable in advance vy dalton New Verto by express or ponal order, na facet checks, which, wtarrfrewnt banking rulatons of New Y FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To ail Eunorman Sates-acewrs—/aternational News Company, The contents of FUDGE are protected by conyright in both the United States and Great Britain. CONTRIBUTORS must inciose a stamped and selt-addressed ertvelope ‘with all manascriots, otherwise return of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. ‘have the sender's full name and address written plainiy on each and every seoarate sketch. DRAWINGS and all contribations sent to the Art Department should yeam's building, Chancery Lane. 5. C.. London : Brentana's. Avenue del" Opera, Parit : Saarbach's News Exchange, Maina, Germany, Infringement of this copuriaht will be promptly and digorously orosecuted. The accompanying Joke or descripttoe letter-oress shoald in every instance be ‘aritien upon its indtwidual picture, and NOT epon a separate sito of paper. Inclosore of stamps tw the fall amoant of postage 18 ais0 reaviret, 10 insure safe and prompt retarn of material not acceotes. MW JUDGE cansot be found at any aews-stand, te publishers will be ander obligations if that fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. THE SOLE REMEDY FOR A COMMERCIALIZED AGE. WE ARE LIVING in a commercial age. Everybody says so, and says it with an accent which indicates what a sinful age it is to live in. Commercialism, consequently, has laid its corrupting hand on every insti- tution and every soul among us. Professor Shailer Mathews says the church is commercialized, and simultaneously with this portentous outgiv- ing Judge Stout of Kentucky declares that the legal profession is commer- cialized. The Rev. Cortland Myers, in a recent assembly sermon, ex- claimed that if some millionaire would donate $100,000,000 for the salvation of the world, the world would be saved in ten years. So we take it that this is a proposition to commercialize salvation also. Everybody knows that the business world went to the dogs long ago through the evil suprem- acy of the commercial passions. The time has come when, to measure the exact force and sweep of this terrible money-hunger, we ought to know just what is meant by the term commercialism, and then every man ought to rise and confess frankly how far he himself is commercialized. In its simplest form, we take it that commercialization means that everybody is out for the dollar. This is surely an awful thing. Every business man of our acquaintance spends the best hours of his life looking for the same evil dollar. Every lawyer we know, every doctor, every dentist, is engaged in the same pursuit. We happen to know some score or more of thor- oughly good ministers of the gospel who are shamefacedly working for dollars. We will even confess that we, ourself, devote many hours which we could far more pleasantly give to fishing and outdoor sports to the same quest. The remedy for this sad state of affairs is simple. Let each man stop taking dollars for what he does. No man will want a dollar when no other man wants one from him. The commercialization of the world could be halted in an hour if workingmen would quit expecting their envelopes on Saturday, and if investors would stop asking for dividends and butchers quit collecting bills, and such as have capital would put it out freely and with no hope of return. Unless we can altogether agree to do this, sad as it may be, we fear the commercialization will go on. THE COST OF RAISING HUMAN BEINGS. BRitisa and American statisticians jointly have figured out the cost of bringing a human being to the voting age. In round numbers, a young man costs his devoted parents $25,000 and a girl $12,000 more. Some ir- reverent wit has suggested that these figures enable us for the first time to appraise kid property on an investment basis. In one way it must be a matter of pride to a fond parent who has brought a freckled-faced youngster through the foolish years to be able to assess the whole performance at such a good round figure. Heretofore children have been listed as about the cheapest class of property above ground. Jury trials have fixed the value of an eye, an arm, or a leg, or even a head, at various times, all the way from ten dollars up. But these were generally based on appraisals of the adult as a going concern. The kid statistics just quoted give the in- vestment value of the human at maturity. There is another view of this subject, however, which is not quite so flattering. There is an old saying about a man not being worth his salt, or not worth the powder that would blow his head off. What must be the chagrin of a fond parent who learns that he has put his $25,000 or $37,000 into worthless property! There is a side more serious still, and that is that while every other venture, from pigs up, is made financially successful in this old world, the raising of human beings must be considered on its financial side a failure. For another set of statisti¢s is on record which goes to show that the ordinary human being, capitalized on his earning power, is only worth about $10,000. Hence it must follow, or else figures lie, that the average human being is bred at a dead loss of from $15,000 to $27,000, ARE OUR BRAINS REALLY GETTING SMALLER? SINCE the scientists have begun to measure the modern head and to estimate the size of the modern brain as compared to the brains of the ancients, it must be taken for granted that the subject has a thrilling inter- est for every man who is, as it were, still in his head. We take it that even the commonest man would be filled with dismay or envy, or some- thing worse, if he knew that his head in all its dimensions was a smaller head, in every way an inferior head, as compared to the heads that once ruled the earth. Some of the scientists say that the head is increasing, while others are as positive that it is diminishing. Still others declare that while it is about the same size as anciently, the cerebral mass has shifted so that the modern head is a different kind of head. But they leave it open to question whether, being a different kind of a head, it is a better or a worse head, Every man wants to be sure about this. If there is more of frontal bulge, lateral slope, posterior overhang, or if the living head is more squat, knobby, or bulbous than the ancient head, all this is matter that goes sharply to the seat of a man’s pride. Every man wants to know whether he is parietally fit and occipitally ©. K. From ape to Athens, from baboon to Boston, from our simian forbear to Simeon Ford, is a long climb; but if paleolithic man, as one faction of the savants affirms, was really a bigger-browed, heavier-brained, more colossal-minded being than we are to-day, what satisfaction is there in knowing that our brains are creased and wrinkled a little more than his was? Who can be proud of a few extra wrinkles on the brain if the thinker itself is empty? GOTHAM woman objected to being kissed by her husband, and he got mad and hit her on the head with a cup. So runs the romance of life. HE’ OFF! The world-tour begins. Taft, Mr. Taft, Secretary Taft, boom-Taft, Taft in all his bulk and all his capacities, moves westward on his globe-encircling trot—and Madison Square Garden looms in the dis- tance, comicbooks.com