Judge — August 24, 1907 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SUPPOSIN'’. SHOULD America get scrappy with the snappy little Jappy ; Should America get scrappy with the snappy Jappy chap, We shoul! show the little Banzai an immense extravaganzai— We should look a heap sight bigger to the dusky little man’s eye. We should give him, sure 's the dickens, one of the completest lickin’s ‘That the world has ever witnessed since the flock of prairie chickens Came to feed old Jacob's offspring as they roamed the wilderness— Oh, that slant-eyed little upstart would be mingled in a mess. Should Unk. Sammy grow indignant, grow malignant, unbenignant ; Should Unk. Sammy grow malignant and should suddenly renig From the attitude so kindly he has held, though never blindly, Should he drop the friendly attitude he's always held designedly, Something stronger than jiu-jitsu would lay hold on Mutsuhitsu, Till you'd wonder, scrappy Jappy, what in thunderation hit you. Yea; should Uncle Sam get scrappy with the yappy, snappy Jap, We should give him what our mother used to give us o'er her lap. STRICKLAND W, GILLILAN. MIGHT AS WELL BE OPENED WITH THEM. 44] AM sorry, my dear sir; but I neglected to bring my surgical in- struments with me.” “That will be all right, doctor. The plumber who has been working in the cellar has left his tools here.” CUPID'S GREEN-GOODS GAME. ‘+ Edythe spent this season in Europe. | wonder if she succeeded in landing a title?” “Yes, indeed! Hadn't you heard? They were actually on the way to the church before she found out that ft was a counterfeit.”" HER IDEA OF A WOODEN LEG. Hewitt—1s your wife a woman of practical ideas ?” JSewett— Well, I could imagine that if I lost a leg she would think that the vacancy could be filled by taking one of the legs out of a pine table that we no longer use.” WHAT'S THE USE? TO POUR IN COFFEE WHEN IT ACTS AS A VICIOUS ENEMY. Fasters have gone without food for many days at a time but no one can go without sleep. “For a long time I have not been sleeping well, often lying awake for two or three hours during the night, but now I sleep sound every night and wake up refreshed and vigorous,” says a California woman. “Do you know why? It's because I used to drink coffee, but I finally cut it out and began using Postum. Twice since then I have drank coffee and both times I passed a sleepless night, and so I am doubly convinced coffee caused the TO BE EATEN. Missionary—"How are you going to take me?” Cannibal —“ With a grain of salt.” “Papa, | wish you'd get arrested for has been arrested three times, an’ | just ahead of us."" speeding. ‘Willie Smith's father te to have those Smiths get SUMMER-RESORT AD. PEND your summer vacation and your year’s savings at Stillhurst- among-the-Dogfennel. Only 800 miles from Chicago, and within a day's easy-walking distance of a point where a railroad is expected to be built soon. Our accommodations are such that, ; no matter what you have been accustomed to at home, you Your troubles are not in- teresting unless you are rich, HEALTHY HAIR will be mighty glad to get back to it. If you want a place that will make your summer vacation seem longer, you need seek no further than ours, We have every comfort and convenience, under contemplation, and if business is good enough this summer we may have a right good place by next year. A good deal depends on you in this matter of improvements. One of our boarders who died in great pain here last summer left a fund for the relief of future boarders at this place, and that money has been most ju- diciously expended. Come and see. Fersons who have spent one summer here declare they will never go to an- other summer resort. Address Jabez Skyntite, R.F.D. No. 8, Haythorpe, Wisconsin, . AT THE NOTION-COUNTER. Rich customer—« 1 want to get some darning-cotton. What kind do you recommend ?” Airy shop-girl— Really, I can't say. silk.” always use is the eons fitels a Packer's Tar Soap Pure as the Pines Not only cleanses the scalp, but imparts vigor to those glandular structures which are intimately concemed with the growth clean, y scalp, and lustrous hair. For a third of a century " Packer's" has been recognized as the ideal soap for shampooin; g- The Packer Mfg. Co., New York City. trouble and Postum removed it. «“ My brother was in the habit of drink- ing coffee three times a day. He was troubled with sour stomach and I would often notice him getting soda from the can to relieve the distress in his stomach ; lately hardly a day passed without a dose of soda for relief. «Finally he tried a cup of Postum and liked it so well he gave up coffee and since then has been drinking Postum in its place and says he has not once been troubled with sour stomach.” Even after this lady's experience with coffee her brother did not suspect for a time that coffee was causing his sour stomach, but easily proved it. Coffee is not suspected in thousands of cases just like this, but it's easily proved. Aten days’ trial works wonders, “ There's a Reason.” Read the famous little book, «The Road to Wellville,” in packages. comicbooks.com