Judge — August 24, 1907 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SUFFRAGETTE PLANS A “HUSBAND'S HOUR” TO WIN HUBBY TO WOMAN'S RIGHTS. has hit t scheme to advance the cause of woman-sufft fe. She proposes a Husband's Hour.” The wife is to meet her lord at the door, give him serve him a fine dinner, put his alippers on, Sring his pipe, and. put him corily in he chair, and then—talk woman.-suffrage to him.— Dally paper. AD the day grows near to wilight, The mercury *s been al Poor father no longer feels sour. He's worked like the *‘divvil” since breakfast— But now ‘tis the + husband’s hour.” IV. The dinner is fit tor angels, And father in glad surprise Afterward lists to his lady sing— And tears fill his joyful eyes. VI. She says her sex is down-trodden, And ought to be given a show— keys and so forth, ough.” To vote and have late And graft from the public THE LAST STRAW. T IS often but a little thing indeed that brings about the actual dis- location of the dromedary’s vertebrie For instance : We found a man who had just ordered his only son to return from the university and begin to hew his own way through this somewhat flinty and cross-grained world, «Why did you do this?” we asked, feeling that he had behaved rather inhumanly in the matter, aside from whatever might be the cold-blooded justice of the act. “Well,” he explained with some heat, 1 had been hearing time and again of this boy's pranks, At last he became in- volved in an escapade even more annoying than anything he had previously become mixed up in. I wrote him and demanded an ex- planation, which he gave, but which was not altogether satis- factory. However, as there seemed an element of reasonable doubt in the case, and as the poor lad’s mother pleaded his cause so stoutly, I at last let justice lean toward mercy and determined to give once more my blessing and bid him try again, “The day I sat down to write him the letter of forgiveness had been a most exasperating one. To begin with, I had lain awake all the night long, listening to my wife's tearful protests that I for give the boy once again ; our cook had left in the morning, without warning, and my breakfast. had. been gotten by my own two bun- gling hands ; a letter in the morn- ing mail had told me of the rejec- tion of my company’s bid for a large job of work we had counted as “+ Does Jones think he's any better wants to sew ou a button.” And he’s plugged through the blistery day. Now, all he wants is a chance to rest— And homeward he wends his way. vu. At first father thinks it's fanny, But yawns soon tollow the smile. His wifey cannot be discouraged, Though father begins to *rile.”* MARRIAGE HELPS SOME. “Yes. He says he has some one to thread his needle now when he At the door his wifey greets him, takes off his collar and tie Then hands him a large and cooling drink, In which there’s a dash ot rye. inety, v. At length his cigar is finished, And wifey pulls up a chair ; Then, seating herself, she starts a talk That sounds to him like “hot air.” Vit. He listens full fifty minutes, ‘Then tumbles to her little game And hikes to a haven of restful peace Far from this suffragist dame. r. upon, the contract going to our most hated rival; the office-boy had sent word that he was ill, and the substitute he sent didn’t even sus- pect anything regarding his duties; I had a.raging headache. But even all these things I withstood, and I set myself painfully but deter- minedly to the task of writing a beautiful letter of forgiveness. When the letter was finished I believed I had written a‘ masterpiece of its kind, Thad written it out in long hand, a thing very laborious and unaccustomed to me, the affair being too sacred, I felt, to intrust to the profane hands of a stenographer. And when"—here the man choked with emotion, and we waited for him to go on—+ and when all this was done, my pride hum- bled and my arm, as well as my head, aching, I picked up a blot- ter and laid it triumphantly upon the freshly-inked page. It was one of those blotters with one var- nished side to it, and I had applied the glossy side to the ink. Well, I tore up that letter, stamped frenziedly upon it, and telegraphed the boy to come home and go to work. We went out softly, feeling that we had intruded upon one who had suffered the crowning disappointment a human soul may feel. STRICKLAND W. GILLI WORSE YET. JONAH was wrapped in medita- tion and whale. “Yes,” he remarked ; “it is had to be down and out, but it is worse to be down and in. Herewith he anxiously await- ed the dénouement. AN EPITAPH. THiS epitaph has been suggested for a dentist's monument : “View this gravestone with all grav- ity; Below I'm filling my last cavit off since he got married?” comicbooks.com