Judge — August 17, 1907 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE VACATION DIARY OF A MILLIONAIRE. ULY 1st.—Extremely hot. Nothing doing in high finance. Start to-day for my summer home in the mountains to get into touch with nature. How good it is to be able to cast off the cares and re- sponsibilities of business for a time and be light-hearted and free as a boy ! July 3d.—Highly sensational attack on Atlantic and Pacific in the news to- day. The President has directed the attorney-general to proceed against the board of directors. 1 wonder if Iam in that directorate? Yes; unfortunately I am. So glad Icame to the mountains for a good rest ! July 6th.—How glorious here at my mountain retreat, secluded from affairs and safe from the prying inquiries of re- porters! In the fall I must get Atlantic and Pacific back to par. How beautiful the trees and rocks and streams are! The world is good and pleasant, truly. Just got a daily paper! How the news follows us! I'll look it over. + Indictments likely in Atlantic and Pacific,” it says, D—— Atlantic and Pacific! July 8th.—I am indicted! Just got word over a private wire. Me indicted as a director of Atlantic and Pacific! A man of unblemished reputation—a philanthropist sacrificed to the senseless clamor of the mob! And wanted as a witness in Consolidated Copper! By heaven! what has become of our liberties? I'll obey no subpoena, rest assured of that. Ye gods! what penalties wealth pays to jealousy ! July roth.—Just heard by wireless that inquiry is on into Consoli- dated Traction, and Union Gas and Electric is under the probe. Grand jury will take up these matters at once. Confound railroads and cop- “per and traction and gas! I wish I was out of the whole business. This thing is spoiling my trout-fishing. I don’t have any comfort at all. Sometimes wish I was a farmer. July 11th.—Jersey Elevated on the rack ! am having, I guess the trolley 's twisted. July 12th,—Grand jury has adjourned. Thank the Lord for that! I'm going fishing. July 13th.—Suspicious-looking characters in the woods. If this is a vacation I Have sent Jones to investigate. July 14th. —Jones thinks they are subpocna-servers, By ginger! I'll wing ‘em if they cross my path. Is a man to have no peace, even dur- ing vacation? Weather a little chilly, and I am staying in the house. July 15th.—Another stranger. Jones is investigating. Jones says he has a bench-warrant. Have instructed Jones to admit no strangers to the house. Fish biting well, but dare not go out for fear of those confounded bailiffs and con- stables. July 16th.—Jones on guard—offi- cers lurking in the woods. This place isa prison. Two reporters in the woods, so Jones reports, with cameras. This administration is a farce—a thing ot shams and deceits. And they call this a free country! Bah! July 17th. —Sent Jones for a doctor. Tam so nervous and irritable I can’t eat or sleep. All doors securely locked and bolted. By ginger ! suppose one of those fellows should come down the chimney ? July 18th.—Quieter, but far from well. July 19th.—Better, but no appetite. July 20th.— Subpoena and fee thrown through the window with a stone. Jones chucked ‘em into the fire. July 20th.—Another subpaena drop- ped down the chimney into the fireplace. July 22d.—Escaped from my lodge last night in the auto, Going deeper into the woods. My goodness! what a summer! July 23d.— Four constables, two subparna-servers, and five reporters on the trail. OFF FOR “* Let me see, now, THOUGHT THE CASE SERIOUS. Id the phrenologist tell you anything interesting 2"° “No. He felt my bumps and rang for an ambulance.” July 24th.—Secluded in a little hamlet far up in the mountains, Jones ran the auto along the bed of the brook, to leave no sign. Am growing whiskers, and, thus disguised, will be able to escape later to a Seaport. July 25th.—Uneventful week, No excitement but watching my whiskers grow. Came up out of cyclone cellar to«lay for ten minutes, August 2d.—Jones says new batch of officers is lurking about the place. Still in cyclone cellar, Only have five minutes out per day now. August 3d-15th..—Nothing doing but whiskers and watching for strangers. Jones says the woods are filling up with subparna-servers. August 16th.—Important message from Slick & Squeeze that all indict- ments have been quashed for lack of jurisdiction, There is justice in the land yet. Tam picking up rapidly. August 20th.— Have _ instructed Jones to arrange for trip back to the city. August 25th.—Back in town. Ree porters say Iam the picture of health, Announced my gift of $50,000 to the High Art Institute. Atlantic and Pa- cific going up again slowly. The Presi- dent gone hunting—thank heaven! In- terview depioring senseless attacks on our financial institutions, and stating that we stand like adamant in our prob- ity. And I never caught a fish ! wey rouRy, PROPER COATS. ‘OR an undertaker—Box coat. For a judge—Fine coat. For a housemaid—Duster. For an old maid—Mail coat. For a housekeeper—Newmarket. For a sight-seer—Rubber coat. For a college girl—Pony cor For a glutton—Eton coat. THE DIFFERENCE. HE difference is that the pessimist finds fault with everything else and the optimist finds fault with the pessi- mist. THE SHORE. What have | forgotten?” comicbooks.com