Judge — July 20, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MISS FLORENCE ROCKWELL IN ‘THE MILLS OF Te cops” You're like a perfect summer day Because the latter lures us hence To hill or shore at great expense. Likewise to see you act we pay. SUMMER IMPARTIALITY. ND now the city boarders roam ‘To crowd each mountain *"bus,"” And he who has the least at home Kicks up the biggest fuss, But quite unmoved by sights like these (He's harder than a spike), The hotel-kéeper tries to please— And gouges all alike. LURAMA W. SHELDON. INNARDS AND VITALS. AS OLD Farmer Mullins urged his horses up the steep ascent of a Vermont hill he ob- served that one of the new boarders cast a pitying glance in the direction of the off horse as it labored to do its share. « Now, I s'pose,” said old Mullins, «that some o' you city folks think it kinder tough to make these critters take sech a hill; but it ain't so mean as you think. It's a big sight meaner to run ‘em down-hill, an’ I'll tell ye why. Now, when a hoss runs up-hill, his vitals presses on his innards, but when you run him down-hill, his innards presses on his vitals, An’ that’s a dern sight wuss, now, ain't it?” HIS LUCK. rv’ JOHNSON 's a lucky man, isn't he ?” “+I thought he had lost a good deal of money in Wall Street recently.” « But his wife thinks she is so young-looking and so beautiful herself that she doesn’t compel him to be civil to plain old ladies only when they are out anywhere.” POallyour learning while you're young, for when you get older nobody can tell you anything. ‘THE SAME KIND OF A CAT. A ROMANCE THWARTED. “* It's all off with the elopement, George. I cannot fly with you. Farmer Jones clipped my wings this morning.” HE COULDN'T DO IT Now. se [F 1 had anything on which to stand,” said Archimedes after he had invented his lever, “I could move the world.” That, however, was before Taft had settled on our planet. TOO MUCH. THEL, aged eight, had succeeded in making her dog stand upon his 4 YOU say that you love me,” she said ; «that you would do any- hind legs, but her efforts to make the cat do likewise resulted in the little girl getting a bad scratch, whereupon she exclaimed, * You damn cat !" If it will make you happy _ thing for me. Iam going to put you to the test.” “Darling, I am ready to do anything, to dare anything, for you. to see me enter a den of wild beasts I will Her horrified mother who overheard her punished her severely; do it. Ifyou would have me jump from a high building to prove that but, not disheartened, Ethel the next morning again endeavored to induce puss to emulate the dog, and again she felt the force of the feline claws. “You "—— the angry child began, when her mother said warningly, « Ethel !” “Well,” she continued, * you are just the same kind of a cat you were yesterday.” IT WAS “SO SUDDEN.” vy Miss ELEANOR,” said he, as they sat on the beach in the moonlight, “will you marry me ?”” “ This is so sudden !" she cried. My love 2" he asked. nerve. APPROACHING NATURE. SOME men think they can’t “get next to nature” properly without taking along two quarts of whiskey and a box of cigars. UNUSUAL. “And after they were married did they do anything unusual ?"* “Yes; they stayed married.” Tlove you I am ready to take the risk. Bid me navigate the rapids of Niagara in a barrel and I will make the effort, so that you may know how deep is my affection for you.” “I shall not ask you to do any of the foolish things you mention ; but won't you, if you really love me, go out in the back yard and play cro- quet with Aunt Mehitabel ? She says she gets so lonesome knocking the balls around alone.” With a groan of despair he grabbed his hat and ran. She had asked too much. He could not, even for her love, assume the risk of being referred to as a mollycoddle. A CONVENIENT METHOD. 46 ]'M sorry not to see you at our morning services,” said the Christian Science reader to a recent convert. ++ am giving them absent treat- ment,” said the convert. oa fest A Sy A JOYOUS DEVELOPMENT OF THE WATERMELON SEASON. comicbooks.com