Judge, 1907-06-01 · page 3 of 16
Judge — June 1, 1907 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several distinct satirical pieces rather than one unified cartoon: 1. **"Perhaps"** (top): A narrative poem with illustration depicts a maiden by a stream—likely satirizing Romantic-era poetry and idealized femininity through melodramatic verse about "vanity and pride." 2. **"The Grateful Millionaire and the Poor Workman"**: A dialogue-based satire where a wealthy man offers a poor workman one million dollars as reward for saving his life. The workman initially refuses, then accepts—but the millionaire keeps raising conditions, ultimately offering nothing. This mocks wealthy individuals' false generosity and exploitative attitudes toward working-class people. 3. **Additional brief comic exchanges** about medical claims and social gossip fill the remaining space, typical of Judge's general satirical style targeting contemporary pretension and absurdity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PERHAPS. SAW beside the woodland brook A maiden softly Neglected lay her story-buok, Unused her fishing-rcel. Upon the bordering rock's cool gray She knelt as if in prayer; For deep within the water lay Her features mirrored fair. And then T saw what, from her knees, ‘The maiden had not seen. A cow, between the brush and trees, ‘Came lumbering, serene. She saw the wealth of grasses rank, She sniffed the uncut book ; ‘Then spied the maiden on the bank, ‘And ambled toward the brouk. Alas for vanity and pride! ‘The maiden’s dream was done. A sereech—and many more beside— And she was on the run. Now leans a cow above the stream With steadfast, pondering gaze ; Mayhap of woman's ways her dream, Mayhap to smile, she stays. LURANA W, SHRLOON. THE GRATEFUL MILLIONAIRE AND THE POOR WORKMAN. FULLY EXPLAINED. AS of extreme wealth, tired of taking care of his seTHEY tell me that eggs externally applied will cure cancer.” money, went to a secluded spot on a river-bridge and + Now I understand why so few stage-people die of that jumped off. He was not aware that life-savers al- malady. ways frequent secluded spots, and that the best place to commit suicide is on Broadway, at noon, And, sure enough, a poor workman leaped in after him and pulled him out, cold and shivering. As he stood there, dripping, it occurred to the wealthy man that what he had needed was not Eter- nity, but just a Cold Bath, And he waxed grateful. “Tam rich beyond telling,” he said. «+I will grant any wish—I will make real your wildest hopes.” The poor workman replied instantly, «Then give me a million dollars," «\A million dollars!" sneered he whose life had been saved. ++ That is the easiest thing in the world. But stop a moment—consider. It was money that made me try to kill myself. You had better go slo +A million dollars,” repeated the poor workman stolidly. “Very well; you shall have it. But since you have saved my life, I will make this further offer: If at the end of three years you are not satisfied with your bargain, come to me and I will do whatever else you wish.” Three years passed, and the former poor workman came to his bene- factor’s door. ++ Aha, | thought so!" exclaimed the man of great wealth. «1 knew you would come back. You know now how little mere money means. Now, what can Ido for you?” + Alas! [have found how little happiness can be got with a million,” was the sad reply ++ Aha, I knew it!” exclaimed the man of extreme wealth. ++ And since you have found how little happiness can be got with a million, what will you have me do for you next?” **Give me another million,” replied the former poor workman. MAKE IT HOTTER FOR THEM, TOO? Reporter—\'ve written 2,000 words on * Politicians in hot water.’ Editor —" Can't you boil it down ? ON A SUMMER PIAZZA. Mrs. Randall— That woman in brown is Mrs, Smith, She says she has had appendicitis six times.” Mrs, Rogers— Impossible. She told me she'd had it three times.” pebanGee: Mrs. Randall— U know ; but since then someone has registered who “Oh, dear! I wish it was mine! 1 wonder what's the punish- has had it four times,” ment fer kidnappin’ 2” comicbooks.com