Judge, 1907-05-25 · page 4 of 16
Judge — May 25, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **"The Over-Zealous Canine"** is a humorous poem about a yellow dog obsessively chasing trains, illustrated with the dog's anxious expression. **"Wanted Clearer Instructions"** satirizes Judge John M. Lassing of Kentucky's Court of Appeals, who apparently had poor handwriting. The joke centers on a jury foreman unable to read the judge's written instructions, highlighting bureaucratic incompetence and unclear communication. **"Hair-Dressing"** offers tongue-in-cheek advice about various hairstyles for different professions. **"No Sense of Sufficiency"** and **"Grandpa's Treat"** are brief comic sketches about greed and mischief, using exaggerated caricatures common to the era's satirical style. The page reflects Judge's focus on everyday social absurdities and institutional inefficiency rather than major political issues.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘THE OVER-ZEALOUS CANINE. NCE a farm became infested With a horde of railway trains. And an active, double-breasted Yellow canine took the pains To run out both night and day Bark and scare the trains away. When he heard the sound encroaching He would waken up and grow! ; When he saw the train approaching He would run at it and howl, ‘Then without the least delay Chase it down the right of way. Then he'd go back home and say With a sense of deep alarm, “ Well, they almost got the farm." This fabula docet Off the statesman and the saint > ‘Think they're doing good, but ain't. troxquite. NOT AT THE QUOIN CLUB. “If it were not for this tank at the athletic club | really don’t know what we would do for a swim."" WANTED CLEARER INSTRUCTIONS. UDGE JOHN M. LASSING of the Kentucky Court of Appeals, the highest court in the state, writes a hand that looks a good deal like a Chinese laundry-ticket. When Judge Thomas F. Paynter was elected to the United States Senate last winter, Judge Lassing, who was then a circuit JUDGE'S FAVORITES. judge, was appointed to fill the vacancy on the Court of Appeals bench occasioned by the resigna- CECILIA LOFTUS, WITH WEBER'S COMPANY. We like to see the merry throng tion of Judge Paynter. That surges blissfully along, While circuit judge, Lassing was hearing a case, and had given his instructions and sent the Ae ee ee ee lente to pour play. jury to the jury-room to deliberate upon and return a verdict. Hours went by and nothing was heard of the jury. Growing HAIR-DRESSING. THE baker should wear a bun, tired of the delay, he sent the sheriff to bring the members before him. «What's the matter,” The bad boy needs a switch. The pugilist looks well said Judge Lassing, **that you do not bring in a ver- in bangs, 3 a <= i | dict?” The sailor needs a mar- , — - * Judge,” replied the foreman of the jury, ** if you would give us your instruc- tions in writing we would soon bring in a verdict. ‘In writing 2" angrily exclaimed the judge. «I did give you my instruc- tions in writing.” «Judge, we—er—we mean in typewriting. We can't read ‘em.” ew wart. cel wave. The Chinaman should wear rats. The liar should wear a false piece. The billiard-player needs a queue. The iceman’s hair should be frizzed. The divorcee’s hair should be parted. The silversmith’s hair » re ON” THE BEST WAY. should be plaited. The hot-air orators THE best thing for anyone hair sels o puffed ; NO'SENSE OF SUFFICIENCY. __ who has nothing to say © high churchman say ba, Nal a Sigaenial” is to say nothing and stick should wear a pompadour. “*A bigamist, my child, is a man who doesn’t know when he’s got enough.’ to it. GRANDPA'S TREAT. 1. “ Here's a spiral spring and an old umbrella-case, Billie. Go get your 2. ——And we'll just préss it into grandpa's bottle of malaria-c: paint-box, and we'll rig up a dandy snake.— he takes his medicine there'll be some fun.”" comicbooks.com