Judge — May 4, 1907 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

——aa —— Cj re es 225 Fountu Ave.,New Your, Can Wasraen Apvertisinc Or ‘One copy, one yen ‘One cop Ove copy, for thi FOREIGN S TERMS UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, NSCRIPTIONS—To ail foreign countries in the postal union, $6.50. year. Everman sats-acunrrs—/ntermational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, EC, London : Brentano's, Avenue de’ Opera, Paris; Saaréach's News Ex of FUDGE are protected by conyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this covyrigh will be promptly and bizorously proseculed. CONTRIBUTORS mest inciose a stamped and self-addressed erirelove with all manascriots, otherivise return of the Latter when found unaailatie cannot be guarantees. DRAW! INGS and all contribations sent to the Art Devartment should have the sender's fall name and address written plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying joke or idescrivtive letter-oress sould in every instarce be writien upon tts indrosdual picture, and NOT upon a sevarate slip of parer. Inciosare of stamos to the full amount of postage {s also required, to insure safe and prompt return of material not accented. 1 JUDGE cannot be found at any sews-stand, the poblishers will be under obligations if that fact be promptly reported oa postal-card or by letter. ‘THE TEA-SPILLERS AN EXAMPLE FOR THE TANK-TAPPERS. THs FATHERS of 1773 made no progress in their fight with the Tea Tyrants until they took to spilling the tea. We judge that it is now evident that no progress will be made in the fight with the Oil Oligarchs until we begin to tap the oil-tanks. The policy of fining Standard Oil cor- porations amounts to no more than a gentle stimulation of price, though it remains to be seen just what the octopus will do when the fines begin to come at the rate of thirty or forty million dollars a clip. The logic ot the latest proceedings is severely simple. When Standard Oil is adjudged guilty (of accepting a six-cent rate, for instance, because no other rate is quoted), it must of course be held that all kerosene is alike guilty, wher- ever it may be. So far this rule has been applied to car-load lots, each car or tank, wheresoever located, on main tracks or sidings, being guilty of the offense charged against the whole, on the same principle that one hun- dred men joined in crime are each held guilty of the whole crime. But the logic should go farther. Oil everywhere should come under the same in- dictment, whether in car-load lots, in gallon cans, or in the separate and infinitely-diffused bowls of individual lamps. In this way judgment could be had not only in the sum of thirty or forty millions, but for as many billions. It will be seen at once how readily this giant octopus will be wiped out if the govern- ment has the sublime courage of this: thoroughgoing logic. But we would goa step farther and suggest to the Interstate Com- merce Commission that no pro- gramme of monopoly - busting can avail until the example of the heroic tea-spillers is taken to heart. When they saw the ob- noxious tea anchored in the Bos- + ton Harbor they sallied forth and spilled it. So the final and effec- tual move against the Oligarchs of Oil will not be made until our zealous liberators go forth and tap the tanks. And this is not a work solely for the government. Every vigilant citizen must be- come a tank-tapper. He will not only thrust the ‘spear which knows no brother" into the hun- dred-ton tank, but he will faith fully charge on the kerosene-can and crack the bowl of every oil lamp. Since a monopoly has no right to exist, and must be put down at whatever cost, we see no way out of this thralldom to the Oligarchs of Oil until the citizens adopt the tactics of the glorious spillers of tea and turn tappers of tanks. 5 om AND then again there may be something in the idea of Governor Hughes that the way to succeed is to trust the people. A™ ERICANS seem fated to stand at the head of the line. They beat the world in trade, prosperity, drink, suicide, and candy-eating. CHEER up, Brother Dunne, for you could not have bought those car- lines, anyway. ee HEN an ex-representative calls President Roosevelt a “fakir and a humbug,” it looks to us as if politics was getting rather warm, NOW that the peace movement is well under way, it seems to be dawn- ing on a good many people for the first time that they don’t want peace. s¢GIGANTIC bones unearthed in Pennsylvania,” says a headline. Everything in Pennsylvania these days, even state-house graft, is on a gigantic scale. SOCMLIST J. G. Phelps Stokes says he holds on to his money simply. to keep it out of the hands of other people who would make wrong use of it. That's us, all over. YOUNG Mr. Rockefeller, we learn, is doing well superin- tending his father’s farm. There is good demand in the country nowadays for competent farmers. THE prospectus of “* The Tem- peramental Inn,’ summer resort for people with minds, seems to have been developed out of what may be called the era of brain-storms. WHEN the government pays all campaign expenses, as it should, the scramble for post- offices will be no more. Every- body with a voice will want to be a campaign orator. Now that Governor Hughes is planting some vetoes where they will do the most good, the people are beginning to see that here is a man who never hands out a lemon. [7 1S a pity that the school- marms who went to Albany in all the strength of Alice-blue raiment to appeal for their rights were turned down. We had sup- posed that a school-marm in Alice blue was irresistible. FuNny that it has not occur- red to the seismic experts that those eccentric earth-shakes were happening at about the time that our Mr. Taft was hopping about from isle to isle on his visit in the Carib- bean Sea. GO AFTER THE LITTLE TIN CANS, MR. PRESIDENT, IF YOU WOULD WIPE OUT THE OIL OCTOPUS. THOSE people who are sick and tired of the word “ muck-raker”’ are invited to consider ‘‘ yeast-stirrer’’ as a substitute. The word is the invention of Mrs. L. H. Harris of Tennessee, and stands for those zealous reformers who are saying “ step lively” to the millennium. comicbooks.com