Judge — May 4, 1907 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wage THE DAGO AND THE COP. A true incrdent. Pasquale (Italian fruit-vender)—Gooda eve, Missita Rile. Nice-a nights ta-night.” Officer O'Reilly —«* Fine, fine.” ‘asquale— Bye-an'-bye gedda colda, make-a bada fi you. Ufficer 0" ‘Reily to that, We ‘dont like the cold weather.” Pasguale— Poleecimanz greata man; he no care fi colds a-notting.” Officer O'Reilly — Make me up a nice bunch of bananas. I want to take them home.” Pasguale—(Who hastens to pick out the best bunch he has and wraps them up very carefuils. Officer O'Reilly —" How much do 1 owe you?” Pasquale (with high respect)—" Not- 's or- Missita Rile.” O'Reilly (pretending to be seri- ous about it and offering coin for the b: nanas) — “I'll not have it. this.” Pasquale—" You no make-a foola fi yiselfa an you give-a me di munee, an’ Ino make-a foola fi myselfa an’ take-a di munee.” Officer O'Reilly—* You're a good fel- low, you are.” Pasquale nice-a poleecimanz, too.” Officer O'Reilly (as he sights tiny lad in back of Pasquale) —** Who's the little fellow 2” Pasquale (proudly)—" Et's a-my_ bo: Dominick. Greata de boy. Wood-a you believe-a wena data boy wuz a wona- munt’s old he holda de boxa blackanin ina hesa handa. Some-a day maybe he'sa like-a de Rockidifell.” Dominick (Pasquale’s son)—"* Gimme a bananiz, fardir.” “Us fellows are used You eata too mucha; Dominick (feigning to cry) —* You give-a di poleecimanz a whole-a buncha an’ doan wantsa gimme one.” Pasquale (angrily) — You talka too mucha fi me. I'smazha you fac Officer O'Reilly (pretending that he did not hear what Dominick said)—+ What is the little fellow crying about ?” Pasquale—* He wantsa di banan.” Officer Reilly (in sympathetic tone)— “Give the boy a banana.” THE RESULT of intelligent, peineakng care of the scalp is healthy hair Packer's Tar Soap Pure as the Pines for over a third of a century has been rec- ognized as an ideal soap for shampooing. It not only cleans the scalp, but imparts Vigor to those glandular structures which are intimately concemed with the growth and vitality of the hair. Its use means a clean, healthy scalp, and lustrous, luxuriant hair. ‘The Packer Mig. Co, New York City. ind a little thing | You take | Missita Rile, you is a| Pasguale (apologetically)—" 1 no ker fi di banarn, Missita Rile, unny i talka too mucha fi me.” (Giving Dominick a a banana, makes a few threats in Italian and sends him home.) Officer O'Reilly —“1s that the only child you have?” Pasquale (masterfully) —** No, no; me godda nine-a childs ana me worka harda fi di nine-a childs, ana my wife-a she worka harda, too.” Officer O'Reilly (surprised)—* What ! does your wife work, too, with nine children 2” Pasguale— You no fistanda me: my wile-a she 's di unny one w’ata woi nodda de ninea childs ; day'sa too small fi woik, alla smslla childs, Officer O'Reilly (trying to feel him out) — You must have plenty of money in the bank.” Pasquale (witha smile, and evading that question) —* I godda nice-a jokesa fi you, Missita Rile.” Officer O'Reilly — Here comes the roundsman. I'll See you to-morrow. Pascuale. Gooda-bye, Missita Rile.” TWO TO ONE. There is only one holy state of matri- mony. There are two unholy states— Utah and South Dakota.—Sphinx. HE HAD PROOF. + You shouldn't have hit that man who called you a liar ?" “Shouldn't, hey ?” “No; you should have demanded the proof, and if he could not produce it he would have bren branded as the falsifier.” “That's all right ethically, but I kno} he nad the proof.” —Philadlphia Le SEEMS SO. “What are those New York lawyers trying to prove 2” “Briefly summed up?” "Yes." “That a_ million dollars can do no wrong."—Courier-Fournal. It's the proper thing to take Abbott's Bitters with a glass of sherry or soda before meals ; gives you an appetite. At all druggists’, ‘TIRESOME. “When I was at Harvard,” said Dr. William F. Anderson, of New York, in «| concluding a brief address, “the boys a, | had a little epigram with which they used to warn speakers not to he too prolix. It compared a speech toa wheel. + You know, professor,’ they would say, + the longer the spoke the greater the tire.’ "— | Christian Register, ss honestly made that ft impair its splen- did qualities of tone and action. SAFE LIMITS. + Why are you so antagonistic to gov- ernment ownership 2” “ Because I would rather limit some of these merger magnates to finance than take a chance on them in politics."—£xr. Advertising in Colors our esteemed F IOLLOWING the custom of most of contemporaries, JUDGE will occasionally accept an advertise- ment to be printed in three or more colors on advertiser will glance issue of April 20th the outside cover. If the interested at the cover. of our he will see the very convincing and artistic announcement of the Bunker Hill Brew veries, of Boston, Mass. The issue of May 18th will carry the busi- ness-like and beautiful page of the Pompeian Mfg. Co., of Cleveland, O. The advertising patrons of Jupcg, like confined to any State or nation. its subscribers, are not Our first | colored page is from Massachusetts, the next from Ohio, the third from Switzerland, the fourth from New Jersey, the fifth from Wisconsin. 15th is for sale. THE JUDGE COMPANY . . The outside cover of June ‘Correspondence invited. 225 Fourth Avenue, New York City | pen: In 1786 Evans? Ale first made. [twas a good ale ! then, but the Evans’ Brewery | has ever progressed alo the lines of brewing advance- meat, and to-day Evans’ Ale stands for the highest grade brewing in the world, and every bottle backs up the statement beyond dispute. “Tt can’t be done.” “ You can’t do it.” “It won't come out that way.” These words have a familiar sound to every progressive business man as he meets them every day. During a recent week I re- ceived and filled nine hundred and seventy-cight orders for cigars, all from individual smokers, To fill these orders required one hundred and thirty-three thousand eight hundred cigars, Of these orders eight hundred and six ty-seven were repeat orders, that is, orders from men who had previously bought cigars from me; and of the one hundred and eleven orders from new customers twenty- six were recommended by my old customers. So, you see, I am “doing it.” The reason I am “doing it" is because I send cigars much better than my customers expect to re- ceive. MY OFFER 1S upon request hundred Shivers’ Cigars on approval to a responsible man, express prepald. He may smoke ten cigars and return the re- maining ninety at my ex- ind no charge for the ten smoked, if he is not pleased with them; if he is pleased, and keeps them, he agrees to remit the price, $5.00, within ten days. ordering please enclose business card or give per- sonal references, and state whether mild, medium or strong cigars are desired. T manufacture these cigars lite dividual sale prices. clear Havan trade under $50.00 per theand. ‘The only reason that Lean sell them at $5.00 per hundred is repeat orders—it is because the selling cost is practically eliminated T manufacture other cigars than my Pana- tela. If, for any reason, you think that a Panatela wouldn't suit you, and to conviction, let me send you my c HERBERT D. SHIVERS, 919 Filbert Street, Philadelphia, Pa. @ 20TH CENTURY LIMITED— {8-HOUR TRAIN TO CHICAGO. York Central and Lake Shore. comicbooks.com