Judge, 1907-04-13 · page 3 of 16
Judge — April 13, 1907 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical style: **Top cartoon** ("Obstinately Law-Abiding"): A joke about a cautious chauffeur who refuses to speed, disappointing his employer—poking fun at early automotive culture and class tensions between wealthy car owners and their careful drivers. **Middle section** ("The One Sure Sign Missing"): An extended dialogue where an uncle insists spring hasn't arrived despite clear evidence (flowers blooming, children playing, etc.). It's a lighthearted debate about recognizing seasonal change, culminating in the uncle's stubborn claim he'll only believe spring when specific items appear—a humorous commentary on obstinate skepticism. **Bottom cartoon** ("These Labor-Saving Times"): A domestic scene suggesting modern conveniences (possibly a phonograph) haven't reduced household labor as promised—satire on unfulfilled technological promises. All reflect Judge's focus on middle-class American life and mild social commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OBSTINATELY LAW-ABIDING. “Your husband is uch a careful chauffeur. | suppose he never rens over anything. No. He won't even run over the speed-limit."” THE ONE SURE SIGN MISSING. +SEE, Uncle,” said the prattling child ; it is spring. “Tain't, neither,” said Uncle as he refilled his corncob pipe and hudidied closer to the stove. “ But, Uncle, the birds have came back.” + Let’em come, durn‘em! But it hain't spring, though.” + The flowers are blooming in the woods and fields “—— “What if they are? tell ye!" “The leaves are coming out on the trees, the meadows are getting green "—— “So are lots of people, too, but ‘tain’t ‘Tain’ ‘spring, | “The boys are playing marbles in the school-yards, the man is peddling sassafras in the streets, the sun shines warm "- «But ‘tain’t spring yit—‘tain’t spring.” “Why, Uncle, people are going fishing, the farmers are plowing and getting ready to plant ; they are making soft-soap in Indiana "—— «+ But not spring time, sonny—not spring yit.”” “Why, Uncle, I am surprised at your stubbornness, The bock- beer signs are out, Lent is over, new spring hats are being worn "—— «Tsay it ain't spring, though, an’ I stick to it.” ++ What! in spite of the strawberries in market, the sarsaparilla bottle on the lower shelf, and the balmy breezes?” * “Yes; in spite o' everything, it ain't spring. How do I know? Best an’ surest way in th’ world. I know it’s Aprile; that th’ buds as well as th’ banks is bustin’; that th’ leaves is havin’ their comin’-out parties ; th’ birds is come; that th’ flowers is bloomin’; that th’ mead- ows is gettin’ green; that th’ boys is playin’ keeps an’ roly-hole ; that th’ sun shines so warm I cain’t hardly set by this winter fire; that plowin’ an’ gardenin’ an’ soap-makin’ has begun; that strawberries is only eight dollars a quart; that the spring lids is in evidence—I know all them things, sonny, as well as you do. But you're young an’ ig- norant, an‘ don’t know th’ real, trustworthy, time-honored, never-fail- in’ sign of simon-pure, incontrovertible spring. They hain’t bin nothin’ in any o' th’ papers about Forepaugh’s or Ringling’s or Bailey's or ol’ Ben Wallace's circus havin’ a mad elephant break out o” winter quar- ters an’ kill a keeper, an’ have to be done away with by feedin’ it a pizen apple. No, my son; ‘tain't spring yit.” And the old man relit his pipe and snuggled perspiringly up to the fire. srmicc.axn w. ciisian. A CASE OF ARBITRATION. A RAT and a weasel found an egg. They couldn't decide who should have it, so they arbitrated. A cat was the arbitrator. The cat awarded the egg to the rat. The rat ate the egg. The cat promptly ate the rat. The cat believes in arbitration; the rat doesn't. THESE LABOR-SAVING TIMES. “Mother, wouldn't it be just the same if Billy an’ me said our pray- ers into the phonograph an’ turned it on every night?” comichooks.