Judge, 1907-04-13 · page 13 of 16
Judge — April 13, 1907 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **advertising page** with several short humorous anecdotes interspersed among product ads. The satirical content includes: 1. **"Advice"** — A lawyer jokes that his pre-case consultation counts as billable "advice," satirizing how lawyers monetize every interaction. 2. **"A Breezy Bite"** — Mocks sensationalist journalism: a copy editor reduces a dramatic cyclone story to a brief, absurd item, suggesting newspapers exaggerate or distort news for space/impact. 3. **"Success"** — A financier boasts of putting mortgages on his future opportunities, satirizing get-rich-quick schemes and financial speculation. 4. **"He Knew!"** — A joke about condensed milk appearing to expand when poured into a smaller bottle—mocking consumer gullibility about product quality. The page is dominated by product advertisements (Evans' Ale, Lucky Strike tobacco, Regño cigars, Prudential Insurance, Williams' Shaving Soap), reflecting Judge's commercial nature. The humor is light, observational satire targeting everyday follies rather than political content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
the perfected art of brewing, the makers ofEvans’ Ale have success- fully added the intricate science of bottling, an achievement that has re- sulted in placing Evans’ Ale at the head of the Ale brewing Industry of the world to-day. The m of merit worthily won and proudly worn. Chote, Restanranta, Dealers, Few tobaccos suit all tastes. The one that can, most justly, lay claim to that distinetion— being an exquisite blend of choice flavors, is the famous LUCKY STRIKE Sliced Plug Pipe Tobacco Cured by a secret process—it does not bite the tongue. Burs well, gives a long, cool, sweet smoke, without waste. Pocket size, tin box, 10c. —__ eee Ifyou drink champagne because it’s good, You're sure to drink the Brotherhood.” But if you drink it for a bluff, Then imported is good enough. The wine says the rest. ape ‘. ADVICE. Client—“ You have an item in your bill, « Advice January 8th, six-and-eight- * That’ was a day before I re- 1 know it, But don't you remember on the 8th I told you you'd bet- ter let me take the case for you?” Client—« Yes," Lawyer— Well, my dear sir, that is advice."— 7it- Bits, Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth- ing Syrup the best remedy lor their children. ac a bottle. A BREEZY BITE. “ Here,” said the new copy-reader, *is a story about a man being picked up by a Kansas cyclone and carried six miles. Except that he bit off the end of his tongue when he fell, he suffered no injury.” “All right,” replied the telegraph editor ; boil it down to about four or five lines and we will run it under the head of thicago Record-Herald. Abbott's Bitters braces the nerves and is a great strengthener. At druggists’. SUCCESS, “You made the most of your opportu- nities 2" _ ‘I did,” answered the dashing finan- cier. “1 managed to put mortgages on some of my opportunities before they really existed."— Washington Star. HE KNEW! Robbins — “Do you use condensed milk ?” Bobbins—“ Well, I guess! Our milk- man leaves a quart every morning in a pint bottl Evening Telegram. GENUINE HAVANA CIGARS you paying 15 cents, socents, oF scents for your cigars?” Are you 20 well eatibed that you will con- tinue? If's0 read no further—bot if ‘equal or better quality for less money interests you then let'me have a few minutes with you to present my argu- ment and offer. ‘The filler is GENUINE HAVANA. (ot American or Key West Ha- Yana—nor Havana Seed), but HA- VANA that was grown and cured on the Island of CUBA, and the wrap. GENUINE IMPORTED IATRA —a combination par- excellence. REGNO CIGARS are really MADE TO ORDER because I make y Rages Eigar has made so many friends that | Tam increasing my ourpatand there> fore want some more customers —who Tam sare wil be satisfied customers after a trislto take the additonal arput. Tam telling my REGNO CIGARS ‘fom the iactory to the smoker ‘Sto middleman’s profit to be path Big are Pet wet boxe of 5d Cl GAS i? facet pay all carriage charges, thar wil refund your money. no Bate shade desired Light, Dark, of Mediam. The tact that JUDGE will accept my adver: Gaement ts unet Stee and Soc. to CHAS. RUGG & SON 8 Market St. BLAIRSVILLE, PA. | STRENGTH OF GIBRALTAR Insurance Essentials PREMIUM RATES: Low ; commensurate with absolute safety. LIBERAL POLICIES: Every proper freedom and benefit to Policyholder. SIMPLICITY: The Prudential Policy has all privileges, options, and values plainly set forth. é SECURITY : A foundation principle of all Prudential contracts. GOOD ADMINISTRATION : . The Prudential has always kept ahead of the times. Integrity, Honesty and Economy characterize the Administration. DIVIDENDS: Liberal Dividend returns to Policyholders. Send for booklet by Alfred Henry Lewis, “My Conversion to Life Insurance” and information of Policy at your age. Dept. N. The Prudential INSURANCE COPIPANY OF ASERICA Incorporated as a Stock Company by the State of New Jersey JOHN F. DRYDEN, Prest. HOME OFFICE: Newark, N. J. HE UNDERSTOOD THAT., “« They tell me a dog cannot understand what one's talk- ing about, but the moment I sald ‘sewing-machine ' he was right on the job,” ERHAPS you imagine that it makes little difference what soap you use so long as it makes a fair lather, and so you accept some of the “+ ready made kinds” that dealers assure you are «just as good as Williams’. "But these soaps dry quickly, irritation follows, and after a while your face tells the only kind that won't smart or dry on the face.” on Williams’ Shaving Soap is that it not only makes shav- ing easier and pleasanter, Dut the more you use it, the softer and Williams’ Shaving Sticks and Shavirg Cakes sold exerywhere. Send 4 cents in stamps for a Wiliams: Shay Jog Stick or acake of Luxury Shaving ap, trial size. (Eno tor 60 shaves.) ‘Adérens THE J. B. WILLIAMS COMPANY ‘Department A, Glastonbury, Conn. Bertin. Sytney,