Judge — March 16, 1907 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

225 Founru Avr.,New Your. C. Western Apv misine Ornice—13 13 PUBLISHED WEEKLY ® Appness,“Jopcanx.” Trt. 2214 Gramercy. riferd Building, Cricage, Mh TERMS TO SUBSCRIRERS: UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. SUPSCRIPTION: acery Lane, F.C, London WOPRAN SAtRS-AcRITS—lalermational News Company, Breams b The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the Uni CONTRIBUTORS mest inctose a stamped and self-assressed entveiove with all manuscrints, otherwise return of the Lat wributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and adiress written plainly on each and every separate sketch. in évery instance be ‘witien uoon its indrvidzal pictare, and NOT upon a separate siio of pazer. DRAWINGS and aft descrivtive letter-oress should insure safe and prompt return of material not accepted. If SUDGE cannot be Yound at any news-stand, the publishers will be ender obligations if UNCLE SAM'S AGRICULTURAL DEPARTMENT. NCLE SAMUEL is doing more and more each year to establish himself in the affections of the people. Through his Agricultural Department Uncle Sam is constantly prying into things and bringing forth information that is a joy to the millions. In the month of January our Uncle published nearly a hundred pamphlets abounding in the quaint and the curious, and all bearing on agriculture. When he hears that the soil of some Louisiana county is sour, our Uncle immediately sends off a band of trustworthy and well-paid scientists to in- vestigate, and an encyclopaedic tome on sour soils is the result. A new bug buzzes in a Texas village, and forthwith a parlor- carful of big-browed investigators is dis- patched to the scene. A Georgian reports that the skin of a sweet potato has a parched look, and straightway a sweet- potato expert hies him forth into cracker dom. The decomposition of the feldspar is as dear to the heart of Uncle Sam as is the boll weevil and the gypsy moth. A new milking-machine inspires him with such fervor that he must know all about it and write it up and give pictures of it, even if it costs money. Medicinal weeds have not escaped his benevolent consideration, and breakfast-foods call for parlor-car explo- rations. So our Uncle goes on his studious way, while a multitude of ex- perts go on the pay-roll and chase the agricultural bug, and pamphletize things, and stereoscope them, and cross-section them, for the delectation of the man who plows. AND these be the generations of them that digged the great ditch: Roose- velt appointed Wallace, and he quit; and Wallace gave place unto Shonts, and he quit; and Shonts gave place unto Stevens, and he quit; and Stevens gave place unto Goethals, and he-— THE EXAGGERATIONS OF GREAT FORTUNES. AFTER THE DEATH of the late Governor Higgins it was announced that his estate would be worth in the neighborhood of $20,000,000. It turns out to be worth something less than $2,000,000. This is a fair sam- ple of the average disproportion between fact and fancy in relation to big fortunes as set forth in the daily press. We do not recall a single case where death has not laid the same exorcism upon the little devils of swollen riches, and we know of many instances in which the alleged millions have vanished entirely. The popular worship of wealth has led to this foolish exagger- ation. The fortune of a thousand becomes a hundred thousand, and the hundred thou- sand a million, and the million a billion. So great is this popular idolatry that the posthumous shrinkage of the exaggerated fortune makes absolutely no impression on the public mind. If the possessor of the idolized fortune publicly declares that its size is exaggerated he is laughed at. Mr. Rockefeller might offer absolute proof that he is only a pitiful tri-millionaire, but this popular idolatry has’ niched him as a bil- lionaire, and billionaire he will remain. The sage of Pocantico cannot escape. There may be other men who have twice the wealth he commands, but idolaters do not reason. Just now the idolatry of mammon is supreme, and its votaries are helping on the social strife by their silly and wanton exagger- ations. id States and Great Britain, Ges copF fer thirteen weeks isTatas Jupce. countries in the postal union, Avenue del" Opera, Paris Infringement of this cooyright will be promptiy and rigorously prosecuted. + when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. The accompanying joke or Inciosure of stamps to the fall amount of postage 1s also required, at fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. HE new people Mr. Shaw is working for appear to like him just $17,000 worth more per annum than Uncle Sam did. ARMER BRYAN of Nebraska is said to be engaged in deep thought this spring. It is believed that Mr. Bryan is trying to think of a Remedy that the people will take. | A LOT of people are saving they like the way Governor Hughes is do- ing, but. they.say it.somewhat as a man says he likes to chew tar—if anybody is ever compelled to say that he likes to chew tar. At THIS writing ‘it is predicted that a sun-spot will look in on us ina few days and wreck us. When this line falls under the eye of the reader, if it ever does, it will be known whether the prediction was true or false. ON THE VALUE OF FORGETTING EASILY. A CONNECTICUT MAN forgot himself for three years. During the three years he continued to labor and was a useful citizen. His mind reached back into his past and took hold of much that was serviceable to him in the pursuit of his occupation. But the unserviceable things, the principal things, and the annoying things were totally forgotten—among the rest a wife and several children. In the light of recent history, the ability to forget should not be regarded as acalamity. One definition of greatness is the power to forget. Most people have a way of remembering too much. They lumber up their mental premises with the riff-raff and wreckage of things that have expired. Such people make dangerous witnesses in court. They are able to re- member all this truck, and under the lead of a skillful examiner they lug it all in and pile it up in the face and eyes of the public. In several noteworthy court grillings recent- ly it must have occurred to most people that the ability to forget is one of the prize pos- i sessions of the mind, ‘I don’t remem- OMIWE FORGET. ber’ and “I can’t just say” are worth more in certain exigencies than tons of merely accurate recollections. Mil- lionaires and people who own railroads and things should take to heart this valuable teaching of experience. The time may be near at hand when it will be worth millions to be able to them to forget easily, swiftly, and with discrimination. eee ING EDWARD VIL, as the head of the church, is now engaged in revising the English prayer-book. » We guess when President Roose- velt reads that he will go ‘way back and sit down in the shade for a while. wee I" SHOULD be borne in mind that a man suffering from‘ brain-storms is ina much less serious case than a man who is subject to “ mental explosions "; and a man who is subject to an occasional “* fulminating out- break ” may have nothing worse than a strong desire to go to congress or the White House. AMONG the more notable bills introduced in the Albany legislature thus far are these: One providing for a closed season on frogs, one for toll-gates on Broadway, an act forbidding all except “policemen, smail funerals, booze-buggies, chorus-girls, and confidence men from butting in,”” and an act making it unlawful to anchor air-ships to church-steeples during the hours of service. comicbooks.com