Judge, 1907-03-09 · page 6 of 16
Judge — March 9, 1907 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical sketches typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Midnight Repartee"** depicts Irish immigrants (suggested by names "Cassidy" and "Motke") discussing the Flatiron Building—a famous New York skyscraper completed 1902—with casual indifference to earthquake danger. **"Back to Earth"** is sentimental verse about whether a woman will maintain Easter piety after Lenten season ends, satirizing shallow religious observance. **"The Other Words"** and **"The Truant"** are domestic humor sketches about marital nagging and school truancy. **"Away Ahead"** satirizes railroad inefficiency by contrasting it with celestial mechanics—the railway manager marvels that planets never wreck or experience delays, implicitly criticizing American rail service. **"Arctic Attractions"** mocks civilized pretension: a woman lists "luxuries" (theaters, hotels, scandal) Esquimaux lack, while a man suggests they wisely avoid such complications. The page showcases Judge's formula: topical New York references mixed with class-conscious humor targeting immigrants, domestic friction, and institutional incompetence.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MIDNIGHT REPARTE! “*Cessidy, if an earthquake now shud hit thot Flatiron buildin “Shure, Motke! BACK TO EARTH. WHEN Lenten penances are o'er, And Easter lilies bloom no more, I wonder will my lady's eyes Retain the calm that in them lies? I wonder if her cheek will show The cold, chaste pallor of the snow, And on her lip, so richly red, This chilling languor still be spread? I wonder will her glances speak The influence of Easter week, When from this tragedy of pain Her steps return to earth again ? Or will she, when the spell is past, When she is done with prayer and fast, Be, as she comes to us once more, The same gay sinner as before? Lae THE OTHER WORDS, s6YOU do well to complain that I make life miserable for you!" said the wife. ‘It sounds well when I recall how, when you proposed to me, you begged and begged of me to say fone word and you would be happy for- THE TRUANT. ever. “Why do you loaf around here Yes,” blurts out the harassed hus- band ; “but you didn’t stop on that one ‘Son—'* Well, | wouldn't if they didn't make word !' the school hours so long.” AWAY AHEAD. | TELL you," said the railway manager who had been reading up on astronomy, “the planetary system is away ahead of ours.” + Whose system is that ?" asked his assistant. ‘+L mean the suns and stars and comets and things. Why, say! I was reading last night that they have been running on their orbits for thousands of years and never had a wreck, never had to wait for connections, never had to sidetrack, never were delayed, and never had one of them annulled. Hanged if I understand it! They must have a block-system that beats ours."" Star the day with a kiss and it will close with a cake-walk. , Ol suppose yez ‘d be In a hurry.” If Oi saw it comin’ my way Oi'm afraid Oi wud be pressed fer toime.”* ARCTIC ATTRACTIONS. 66] CANNOT imagine,” said the woman with the short sleeves, ‘why in the world the Esquimaux live in thelr country after they have learned what is to be had and seen in civilized places. Just think! They have no theatres, no hotels, no trains, no street-cars, no shops, no schools, no churches, no clubs, no yachts, no scandals—they positively have nothing that we have.” “+ Possibly that is the reason they stay where they are,” ventured the man with the dinner-jacket. Ee “Dat chile 'll sho’ make some o' dose fightahs draw comicbooks.com