Judge, 1907-03-02 · page 12 of 16
Judge — March 2, 1907 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main piece is a satirical poem mocking political speechmaking. It depicts a statesman making banal, self-evident statements ("the weather will be dry," "the ship will never sink so long as it's afloat," "two and two make four") that audiences treat as profound wisdom, applauding enthusiastically despite the empty content. The satire targets how voters are easily swayed by rhetorical bluster and theatrical delivery rather than substance—a common Progressive-era critique of political theater. The page is otherwise dominated by advertisements (liqueur, pianos, patent medicines) and brief social notes showing reciprocal visits among the Dardis and Stocker families. A physics classroom joke appears: when asked which travels faster—heat or cold—a student answers "heat," since "anybody can catch cold."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ORATORY. The statesman gravely wipes his “specs” , z and straightens out his tie, LIQUEUR | And says, «My friends, unless it rains, \iison - . the weather will be dry.” And when this thought into our brains PERES has percolated through, We common folk throw up our hands VY inne ie tee For guarantee of pur CHARTREUX: j)». ages les Be ese snore see back \abel on every bathe: 53 ObERVANDITEDLOW= And says, “ The ship will never sink so long as it's afloat.” Whereat we roll our solemn eyes, applaud Known as Chartreuse ith coat art eight Wa “5 AN\ \ And slap each other on the back the while we say, “He's right ! Sage | The The statesman waxes stern and warm; A his talk becomes a roar. Highest Grade He yells, «1 say to you, my friends, After-Dinner that two and two make four Liqueur And thereupon our doubts dissolve, our fears are put to rout, And we admit that here's a man who Th 1 fiat knows what he's about, ne only cordial —Courier-Fournal. made by the Car- thusian Monks, PILES CURED IN 6 TO 1 who have se. PAZOOINTMED case of Itching, Blind, Bleeding, or Protruding ly guarded ony Save Piles in 6 to 14 days or money refunded. soc. the secret of its manufacture for RECIPROCITY. hundreds of years . Last summer, and who; slone Society note: Mr. and Mrs. Chacles possess a know- Dardis, Miss Gertrude Dardis, Master ledge of the ele- Tommy Dardis, Miss Elvira Dardis, and ments of this ¥| Miss Alice Dardis, ‘vith baby and nurse, delicious nectar. are spending the month of August at White Plains, Nova Scotia. Grocers, Hotels, Catts, 7 This winter. ens. New Vork, Ne Ys Society note: Mr. and Mrs. William ted States Stocker, of White Plains, Nova Scotia, and Henry Stocker, Miss Eunice Stocker, and Master Wilfred Laurier Stocker, of White Plains, Nova Scotia, are spend- ing a few weeks with Mr. and Mrs. Charles Dardis, 1014 Cross street. —Som- erville Fournal. Ifyou drink champagne because it's good, You're sure to drink the “ Brotherhood.” But if you drink it for a bluff, Then imported is good enough. The wine says the rest. No tonic made equals Abbott's Bitters. Meets every requirement. At all druggists’ HOH! HOH! HOH! Professor (in physics recitation)—"'I FREE TREATMENT jester want to ask one more question before we by leave the subject of heat. Can any one oo UNTIL CURED isr.te ts cnreat tell me which travels faster, heat or ‘Dr, Waterman, 14 Lexington Ave., Suite 38, New York. cold?" Wise member of 1910 (promptly) — HENRY LINDENMEYR @ SON8___|..Ves. sir; heat, of course. Anybody PAPER WAREHOUSE 4 wo re rts pepe can catch cold."—Cornell Widow. THE WAY OF THE TRANSGRESSOR. rrranch, erst oe te a a Neees ; It sometimes happens that when an The Stekeks actor finds things coming his way he tries to dodge them.—Exchange. Intending purchasers of @ STRICTLY FIRST. LASS Plano, or Piano and) Sal-Player combined, shcald net fail to examine the merits of the world: SOHMER PIANOS ‘ tnd the “SOHMER «CECILIAN™ Inside Players, which sarpass all others. Catalogue mailed on application. SOHMER & cone: a YORK. BLOOD POISON |}—= we fave mate th gure ot Hol Poon 8 FROM a list of fifteen ig Ulead foleeg Permanently, Cured. weeklies considered, “To the girl that we love best! ital tym0.000, "We solicit the most Juoce has just been se- =when she is our foast, we don't . lected as one of three me- want any bat her.” diums to be used during the coming year by one of pare . hte wre for prols ef cares. tora Book our largest National adver- = aD) cOooK REMEDY Co. tisers, the only humorous | ( rimb N00 MASOIOC TEMPLE, Chimgs, #1, 0. SA. weekly to .be used and Whiskey e the fifth renewal of this | scuecesoreveross Green Label. esraousHto | HITE, BENTZ & CO. | order. Ba ced tae tact Ay ALL rinst-ctass ocaten comicbooks.com