Judge — March 2, 1907 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A GREAT COUNTRY. Atruly rare and favored realm is Adver- tising Land! You'll see no homely women there, I'd have you understand. The fellows are Apollos, ail with shoulders | four feet wide, Who couldn't get their trousers bagged, no matter how they tried. The autos in this lovely land were never known to break ; The mining schemes are always safe, they tolerate no fake. The cure-alls never fail to cure, the pads and belts to heal ; mostfoods are always pure, and tha:'s a wondrous deal. In Advertising Land, my friend, you need not bulky’ be, Or short or lean or gray or tall, if you've a modest fee. Toe people there must surely be a bright and happy band ! Ive often thought I'd like to live in Ad- vertising Land. — Courier. Journal, Mothers will find Mrs. W ng Sytop the best remedy lor their ANOTHER HATPIN INCIDENT. The responsibilities resting upon the einary hatpin are gradually developing. Ove evening when the liner St. Louis was huliway across the Atlantic, the first- ain passengers were startled by a sharp jon. At first it was feared the boil- eshad blown up. Then it was whispered about that a bomb had let go. Later on explanation leaked out. The first-cabin passengers are provided pneumatic rubber mattresses, inflated hair, Into one of these a woman had ghtlessly jabbed the ubiquitous hat- and an explosion quickly followed. Ofcourse the steward promptly covered te puncture with tire tape and pumped wpthe mattress —and the St. Louis calmly cxtinued her journey.— Cleveland Plain wis Sooth= bottle. RE A COLD IN ONE DAY Ike LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets. Dreggists refund money if it fails to cure. EL VE'S signature is on each box. 5c. PHILOSOPHY VINDICATED, Money doesn’t ys. bring happi- s and peace of mind. You are right there,” answered the nn with an anxious look. “ Sometimes itempts you to buy automobiles."— Washington Star. SORT OF A SEE-SAW? The man who saws his own grate- wod doesn’t see the need of a cheerful is wife would like to —Somerville Yournal. | for HEALTHY HAIR and SCALP Pure as the Pines Recommended by the Medical Profession foe cleansing the Hair and Scalp, and treatment of Dandruff and Baldness. STANDARD for SHAMPOOING ‘The Packer M. SAACTHOMPSONS EYE WATER vuage OUR FURNY LANGUAGE. You take a swim, You say you've swum ; Your nails you trim, But they're not trum ; And milk you skim Is never skum. When words you speak, Those words are spoken. If a nose you tweak, It’s never twoken ; Nor can you seek And say you've soken. If a top you spin, The top is spun ; A hare you skin, Yet ‘tis not skun, Nor can a grin | Be ever grun. If we forget, Then we've forgotten ; Yet if we bet, We haven't botten. No house we let Is ever lotten. What we upset Is not upsotten. Now, don't you think Our language rotten ? —New York World. A FRIEND'S TIP. 70-YEAR-OLD MAN NOT TOO OLD TO ACCEPT A FOOD POINTER. “For the last 20 years," writes a Maine man, ‘I've been troubled with dyspepsia and liver complaint, and have tried about every known remedy without much in the way of results until I took up the food question. “A friend recommended Grape-Nuts food, after I had taken all sorts of medi- cines with only occasional, temporary re- lief. “This was about nine months ago, | and I began the Grape-Nuts for breakfast with cream and a little sugar. Since then I have had the food for at least one} meal a day, usually for breakfast. “Words fail to express the benefit I received from the use of Grape-Nuts. My stomach is almost entirely free from | pain and my liver complaint is about cured, I have gained flesh, sleep well, can eat nearly any kind of food except greasy, starchy things and am strong and healthy at the age of 70 years. “If Tcan be the means of helping any poor mortal who has been troubled with dyspepsia as I have been, I am willing to answer any letter enclosing stamp.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, | Mich, Read the little book, «The Road | to Wellville,” in packages.‘ There's a reason. SPLASH! Barkeep—« Wot 'll yeh have ?” Stoodent B— Got any champagne on ice 2" Barkeep—" Sure.” Stoodent B—* Gimme a nickel's worth | of ice."—Cornell Widow. Musical people who call at the warerooms of Sohmer & Co. may be assured that they will find what will gratify the most cultivated mu- sical taste in every respect. ON THE BLEACHERS, “TL can see Maude's finish !” oe he’s on the third lap now.” A delightful aromatic for all wine, spirit and soda beverages— Abbott's Bitters. —Record. YES. Young lady—'* Were you ever boarded by pirates 2" Sea captain es, I spent last sum- mer at Bar Harbor."— Punch Bowl. Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup cannot be excelled lass curiog stubvorn colds and coughs. "Ieis sale 100. 356 THE LIMIT. Chauffeur— What's the speed limit here?" Constable —“ Twenty - five dollar: Cur eer They ak Meet ben bee ae money, and it must be good. ‘That is why most of them smoke LUCKY STRIKE Sliced Plug Pipe Tobacco Fine frome ily handled, (a tha ses), gives « Tong, col Does not bite the tongue. Pocket size, tin box, 10c. US AGENTS JAMES BUCHANAN It’s up to you to put it down. A couple of years ago a gentleman wrote me and said, * Send me one hun- dred of your Panatela Cigars. I want them to smoke on the golf links and out of doors.” Recently I met him on a train, was cutting off the,end of his cigar he saw me, smiled and said, * Good morning, added, ** 1 owe you an apol- ogy. This is one of your | cigars and is the b for steady smoking. This man’s bu: known wherever civilized men live in the world. He is rich, cultured and traveled. He lives in a beautiful home, has horses, coachmen and gardeners. A mutual friend, who knows him well, tells me that he never before knew of him having other than a genuine imported cigar in his house, I wish I dared print his name —without it the story may sound “fishy.” It is true, nevertheless, I find that most of my cus- tomers are men who have been paying from $8 to $15 per hundred for their cigars, and men who can afford to pay these prices, and would, if they didn’t get better cigars from me for less money. My customers are mer- chants, manufacturers, bank- ers—more of the latter in proportion than any other class of business men. In other words, my customers are men with bank accounts, who would not smoke my cigars unless they had the quality—no matter what the price. MY CLAIM 1S—that no other cigar is sold to the consumer at a price so near the actual cost of manufacture. MY GUARANTEE 1!S—that the filler of these cigars is clear, clean, long Havana—vo shorts or cuttings are used. | The wrappers are genuine Sumatra—grown in Sumatra. MY OFFER 1S :—I will, upon request, send one hundred Shivers’ Panatela Cigars on approval to a reader of JUDGE, express prepaid. He may smoke ten cigars and return the re- maining ninety at my expense If he Is not pleased with them; If he Is pleased, and keeps them, he agrees to remit the price, $5.00, within ten days. Would I dare make this offer if I didn’t know the absolute worthiness of my cigars? Think of the risk I take to make a customer —one-tenth of my cigars and expressage both ways. Wouldn’ to send out As he ordering a hundred ‘on suspicion" In ordering please inclose business card or give personal references, and state whether mild, medium or strong cigars are desired. HERBERT D. SHIVERS, 1919 Filbert Street, Philadelphia, Pa. Morning, Noon and Night Fast Trains to the West-Via NEW YOR K CENTRAL LINES- comicbooks.com