Judge — February 23, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FAVORITES. HELEN MYER, OM THE PROCTOR- KEITH CIRCUIT. This is the axe. This {s the very chopper Which nearly tempted Little George to tell His pa a whopper. This little axe Brought down the cherry-tree. But you beat George, For your little acts Bring down the house. See? EAVE it to the women to get what's coming when it's due, THAT CHERRY-TREE STORY. SHE fact that Georgie could not lie Does not appeal to me,” Said Ibsen Browning Emerson Of Boston, aged just three. “« It showed his small ability— Imagination poor. He'd make no great impression now Were he alive, I'm sure. Had he remarked, ‘1 Tt would have s! Yet would not. Then I night admit His claim to being good.” AND NOW THE AUTO-DIVORCE. 66QO FLYHIGH and his wife are di- vorced? You surprise me! What was the ground ?” *Oh, incompatibility of ideas. She wanted to run their motor-car with dena- tured alcohol, and he preferred gasoline. Of course they would never agree, so they have separated. COMING IT ON FATHER. Mr. Washington—« George, some one has cut down my favorite cherry-tree. Be a man, now, and say, ‘I did it with my little hatchet." Little George— All right, father. You did it with your little hatchet.” GETTING THE NEWEST WRINKLES. +4] BEG pardon,” Washington this morning ? birthd “1 saw him not half an hour ago,” replied the shade of Nero. He was talking to a new arrival from the United States. They conversed for a few moments, and then Wash- ington started for Charon’s general store. He said he was going to purchase a muck-rake, a big stick, and a simplified speller.” A LIVING I THE SOIL. SeTHERE’S a man who T gets his living out of the soil, even though he does work in the city all the year round.” “Nonsense! How can he do that?” “He's the owner of a laundry.” ER look a gift mule in the hind foot. id the shade of Napoleon ; ++ but have you seen I would like to wish him a happy great annoyance, LAW ENFORCEMENT AT WHISKEY GULCH. “What are they moving the church for ?"* “Well, stranger, I'm mayor of these diggin’s, an’ I'm fer law enforcement. We've got an ordinance what says no saloon shall be nearer than 300 feet from achurch. | gave “em three days to move the church.”* A CONVERSATION-MAKER. 66] DON'T know what the tvouble is,” said the hostess in a tone of + My guests seem very distant and unsocial. Iwish I could think of some way to start them talking to one another. DIFFERENT NOW. “ Bobble, can you tell me why George Washington was such a reat man?” "Yes, sir; he got to be President without ever telling a lie.”” “But that was very long ago, my son.”” ALK ER: OLoventin— THE EVOLUTION OF THE OIL-CAN. hat’s easily done, answered Miss Clever. «Is there a musician present ?” “Yes.” “Get him to play or sing something.” BOOMING. Broadstreet —* How's your company getting on, old man—prospering ?” Nassau —* Prosper- ing! My boy. the term is inadequate. Why, we're about to be indicted in thir- ty states!” PPORTUNITY knocked once at a man’s door. But the man was out just then, wresting from a reluctant world the where- withal to feed his wife and babies. Opportunity passed on, It mostly always hap- pens like that. comicbooks.com