Judge — February 16, 1907 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| ele Ke DADDY'S VALENTINE. H, LOVE, dear love! I love you so! In flusher days I used to blow Myself and send you valentines Alll loaded up with ‘thees" and + thines"— But now I cut the gaudy frills And waste my cash on butcher's bills! Oh, Ethel mine! I bought you hearts All punctured by young Cupid’s darts, With flowers and doves at every turn, For I had shekels then to burn— But now it takes just all I've got To fill the baby’s milky bot! ‘Oh, Ethel Ann! I brought you rings And lots of other foolish things. The price was nothing then, you see, For my old man was keeping me— But now I've got the jumping blues, And Johnny ’s got to have some shoes! Oh, say, old girl! I would that we Might stumble on a boodle-tree. I'd thump it hard and strip it clean, And then I'd dike you like a queen— But now I'm broke, but still I'm thine, A busticated valentine! CHARLES 1. JUNKIN, ‘THE FOOLISH COMIC. (A fable.) INCE upon a time a comic valentine that hung in a store-window heaved a heavy sigh and said, «*What a sad and uneventful life I lead! Three or four weeks of the year I am hung upon a string for little dago boys to make faces at, and the rest of the time Iam packed away in a hot and musty drawer.” «Oh, add up your talk and choke to death on the result!” angrily replied an- other valentine. «* But I want to see the world,” wailed the dissatisfied comic. ‘+ Year after year Cc “You ought to be glad you're alive,” interrupted another. ‘* Here we have peace and warmth and no worry about the price of butter and eggs; and even if the hired girl gets mad and quits it is nothing to us.” «« But I'"—— began the restless co1 and then stopped. At this juncture a hand reached in and took the comic by the neck, and the next minute it was folded up and placed in an envelope and dropped into a letter-box. “Ah!” it gleefully exclaimed, «at last I am to play a part in this busy world! At last 1 am to see what's what and who's who! The strenuous life for yours truly.” That night the comic could hardly sleep for chuckling, and early next morning it was taken out of the box and delivered to a sour- faced old maid. At first she hugged the en velope to her heart and covered it with kisses but when she opened it and saw the comic she uttered a scream that could be heard a block away, and tore the valentine into a thou- sand pieces. Moral—Most of us, like the foolish comic, never know when we are well off. NOT THEN. THAT he was quite a fly young man His friends had oft lamented, Until he tried to make good in An air-ship he invented. AB Lewts, JUST ESCAPED THE HOT FLAT. E WAS a regular tramp. «You say you want to raise enough money to go into business ?” said the lady at the door, pleasantly. «Exactly, mum.” «Well, here's five cents. ness you intend going into?” “‘Certinly, mum. Yer see, durin’ de past ten years I have bin sittin’ on de park benches buildin’ castles in de air. Well, now dat dey are gittin’ up air-ships ter carry passengers, I'm goin’ ter remodel my air-castles an’ transform dem inter air-ship stations.” When the woman returned with the hot flatiron from the stove the tramp had disappeared down the road. ALTERS THE CASE, THE valentine of pictured wit You always notice makes a hit When for some other man ‘tis due— It's different when it comes to you. THE TERROR OF THE AIR. Wilfred— Pa, a man who is continually on a ship is called a sea- dog, isn't he?” Gunbusta—* That's what they call him, my boy.” Wilfred — Well, if he’s a sea-dog, then a man who is continually on an air-ship must be a Skye-terrier.” Now, may I ask what kind of a busi- ON THE TRA.IL comicbooks.com