Judge — February 9, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE GIRL BEHIND THE COOK. 66] TELL you, sir," he said, «the girls of today are not properly educated. Be- fore I marry I want to find a girl who is able to cook,” "Yes?" returned the other disinterest- edly. + Don't you 2” “Can't say that I care particularly about that.” “What kind of a girl do you want, then?" “What kind do T want? Oh, I want a girl who is able to hire a cook, and inciden- tally a butler and a coachman and a footman, and all the rest that go to make life comfort- able. [ove thy neighbor as thyself—but let his wife alone. Have you been ‘ gymming,’ Bertie?” Yeth: an’ getting stwong. Cawn’t woll a cigawette now without bweaking the papah.”* ** Stunning!" EVOLUTION. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. THE sturdy lad in days gone by, EFFIE SHANNON IN “THE DAUGHTERS OF MEN." Who felt Ambition’s throb, Not daughters of men are such as you: Just looked a boss straight in the eye Naught of the common your glory mars. = ‘And braced" him for a job.” You twinkle so charmingly Into view, ” We guess you're daughters of the stars. But when refinement grew apace With notable inflation, HIS COVETED SENSATION. The cultured youth, with courtly grace, seTHERE is one feeling I sure would like to “ Desired” a “situation.” have before I die,” said the thoughtful Tika ewer secsan Kae qroweranilaee; young man as he looked up from the magazine- For how, ia tones putsiclan, story he was reading. ‘The slim young man at three per week + And what is that?" asked his companion, Refers to his “position.” eo who sat looking out of the club window. : “1 should like to feel a ‘berserk rage,’ — GOOD WAY TO Do IT. whatever that is, that all these novel heroes have when things go wrong with the heroine. But perhaps,” he sighed drearily, «1 shouldn't know it if Thad it. I might think it was hives, or in- : the public, are naturally considered of exceptional value. Now, for the benefit of struggling young men, will you kindly say what is the best way to be- CHILDISH HOPES, —— WN come rich ?* Wes Willie Jones was five years old Mr. de Billionaire leaned back in his chair tain Kidd he had his fill. and meditated, He said, “I'll be a pirate bold, “We are getting up a little symposium on Twill \\\ . the subject,” urged the able interviewer, + and Asailibea te ask Sanna aaa Wwe are especially anxious to get a few words of Not ever realized? It is. advice from you,” Jones is director of a trust. ++ Well,“ returned Mr, de Billionaire thought- Was his? fully, «1 think you may quote me as saying that my own personal experience has taught me that the best way to become rich is to get all the money you can.” 66 YOUR success in business,” said the able interviewer to Mr. de Billionaire, + makes you a person of more than ordinary interest to ndl your views on financial subjec.s digestion, or epilepsy coming over me. It’s an awful thing not to have an education.” HOPELESSLY PESSIMISTIC. se] DON'T believe, b’ jinks!" said Uncle Josh j this morning, aha thi here wrod i ver Tee! PORTRATTSAVED HIN: e truly happy ontil ev'ry man in it kin make “Jones always sald that some day | ev'rybody do ez he'd like t’ hev ‘em do. would be glad I had his portrait of Maria.” EVERY man on the highway is not a high- wayman, THE EVOLUTION OF THE DACHSHUND. comicbooks.com