Judge, 1907-02-09 · page 3 of 16
Judge — February 9, 1907 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains nostalgic rural humor and social commentary typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine. **"How Can I Forget?"** — A poem with accompanying sketches depicts an aging farmer's bittersweet memories of agricultural childhood labor: milking cows, feeding animals, rising at three o'clock, and physical hardship. The satire suggests the romantic idealization of farm life contrasts sharply with its actual grueling demands. The lower sections present brief humorous anecdotes about poverty and social hardship: a man's wife leaving due to bad weather, a farmer's excuse about lacking "clothes," and a family's financial desperation (attempting to raise mortgage money through cake sales). The overall tone is sympathetic toward working-class struggles while using humor to expose the gap between idealized rural simplicity and harsh economic reality during this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
q +¢ How CAN | FORGET? | REMEMBER, T remember, When I was but a lad, Down on the old plantation, What jolly joys I had! 1 used to milk the seven cows And swill the sixteen motherly sows, And give the eighteen horses oats, ‘And shuck the corn for thirty shoats, And fork the hay for fifty head Of cattle black and brown and red, And fodder seven hundred sheep, Each night before I went to sleep. Ah, those were happy seasons ‘When I was but a lad! Thad so many reasons For being gay and glad! I used to rise at three o'clock And feed the seven sorts of stock, And chop eleven cords of wood Before my appetite was good, And after breakfast dig a ditch Till all my muscles got the twitch, And hoe the cotton afternoons Along with six or seven coons. ‘THE ONLY RELIABLE SIGN. 44 ])© YOU take any stock in these open-winter prophets?” ‘No. I don’t believe the cold weather is over until my wife quits telling me we are out of coal.” geo ACCORDING TO TOMMY. HENEVER father shaves WY He says it’s such a bore. He swears he'll grow a {/ beard— And if it weren't for . maw “oo I'm sure he would. But she ft Just jollies him like this : JP My dear, how clean you look ! You're sweet enough to kiss!” > eon And so, when father shaves, oN He don't know where he’s at. He swears that—well, he swears, And lets it go at that! WALTER PULITIRR. THE BRIGHT SIDE. 6¢Q)H, THIS poverty !" wept the beautiful wife when her shifty-eyed husband came home. +The gas and electric companies have shut off their service because you have not paid their bills."" + Well, we can use candles,” consoled the husband. ‘And the telephone company has disconnected our in- strument because we owe them two months’ rental.” *+So much the better. If anyone tries to ring us up to spend the evening with us they will think we are not at home.” THE ALTITUDE OF BENEVOLENCE. He—* Phrenologists locate benevolence exactly at the top of the head.” She—" Yes; as far from the pocket-book as possible.” Oh, what a sweet existence, How jammed with daily joy— Away off in the distance, When Twas but a boy ! For even after supper time Up in the loft I used to climb And fork down forty tc To sharpen forty-seven hoes. T remember, I remember, Those boyhoud pleasures yet, Down on the old plantation! Ah, how can I forget? ROOEKTUS Lova. THE NEGLIGIBLE HALF. 64] AM afraid we can't come,” said Adam to his neighbor from the land of Nod, who was inviting them to an evening function. ++ You see, I haven't any dress-suit—in fact, we haven't any clothes at all, hardly.” “Well,” suggested the neighbor, «nobody is going to notice how a man is dressed so long as his wife is in fashion. Come along.” TO RAISE THE MORTGAGE. “No. I don't want to buy anything to-day: but. as you know, we are trying to raise the mortgage on the church, What will you donate?” “How would a cake of yeast do?” comicbooks.com