Judge — February 2, 1907 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY Fourrn Avr., New Yous. Canin Appanss,“Jopcarn.” Tet, 2214 Gramxncr, Wasteen Apvexnisinc Ornice—1313 Hariford Building, Chicage, Ih, TERMS TO. CRIBERS : UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. ‘One copy, one year. « One copy Ove FOREK nets—Intermational News Company, Bream’s building, Chancery Lane, The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Bri SUBSCRIPTION Curisraas Junce. countries in the postal union, $6.50 a year. Paris venue del Oper Suarésach Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and rigorously prosecuted, CONTRIBUTORS mest inclose a stamped and self-addressed envelope with all manascriots, otherwise return of the Latter when found unavaitatie cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and ait contributions sent to the Art Devart descriotive letler-tress $ insure safe and prompt return of material not accepted. It JUDGE cannot be found at any news-st NEW YORK’S MILLIONAIRES IN POVERTY. A VERY unfair opinion prevails in the country at large as to the men of swollen fortunes. For instance, the statement has gone out that we have in New York upward of 2,000 men whose possessions range all the wav from a million toa billion apiece. This sets people to figuring, and when they find how much they could buy and what a stunning show they could make on a few million or a few billion, as the case may be, thousands grow envious and jealous and socialistic. But when we turn from the sensational press and con- sult purely frappéd and accurate media of information, we find that New York has no rich men to speak of. Nobody will con- tend that the tax-returns of New York City are impaired by any sensational or ex- ploitatious leanings. Tax-lists are coldly, calmly critical and correct. And what saith the personal-property tax-lists?. Why, that there are but five real millionaires in New York—namely, Mr. Carnegie, who has a beggarly $5,000,000, John D. Rockefeller with a pitiful $2,500,000, Mrs. Russell Sage with a sca 000,000, and Alice G. and W. K. Vanderbilt with a shrunken $1,000,000. The rest of our so-called millionaires are poor indeed. August Belmont has only $100,000. Poor Mr. Morgan stands a little better, with $400,000; but Mr. Thomas Ryan’s small personal savings are negligible. Instead of enormous fortunes, the tax-returns show that our millionaires, though industrious, hard-working men, are poor. Persons who wish to contribute something to assist these deserving people may forward their contributions to us. BEING a linguist, President Roosevelt has no doubt enjoyed the New York Sun's discussion of the question whether “forever” always means forever. INTELLECT’S CONTRIBUTION TO THE NATIONAL WEALTH. THE RECENT estimate of the country’s wealth, which places the total at $107,000,000,000, is all very well as an estimate; but we judge that the actual sum is either much less or much more than the figure stated. There is something suspicious about that $107,000,000,000. We cannot imagine that it would come out that way to the penny. If we were to get to figuring on the country’s wealth we feel sure that it would add up more like $107,468,219,167.16. Nobody ever in- terviewed this present writer on the amount of his wealth. Hence, we infer that this does not show up in the total given. We venture to say that at least a million ear- nest brain-workers have been similarly skipped in this census. This intellectual million varies greatly from day to day in the totality of its wealth, A Monday cen- sus would reveal a negligible thrift—say six cents per—while a Friday count might show millions of floating debt. But if the census-takers happened round on a Satur- day they would find the national pocket gorged with a sudden plethora. We would have to know, therefore, on what day of the week the parties were seen whose financial status in the aggregate gives the nation such a proud place in the eyes of the world. Even Mr. Rockefeller, we imagine, has days on which he feels comparatively poor, and other dividend days when, as he himself once said, he feels almost like a millionaire. id in every instance be written apon its individual picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paver. the publishers will be under obligat ment should have the sender's full name and adiress Ywritten plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying foke oF Inciosure of stamps to the fall amount of postage (s also required, 0 a8 if that tact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. Ne attempt of the New York Legislature to gag reporters is probably a mere legislative gag. AND here is the good old Republican Governor of Pennsylvania begin- ning to act real Hughes-like. S WE understand it, Mr. Hearst claims that real ownershippers would have been different. More, or less? NEW YORK aldermen at $500 apiece! It’s a shame! We had never thought of such dignitaries bringing less than $25,000. BY THE WAY, since Brother Hearst paid $257,000 to capture the gov- ernorship of New York State, it is perhaps explained why he does not pear in the Gotham personal-tax lists at all. Probably spent all he had; \d yet it is not generally supposed that the great Independencer is poor. TOWER OF BABEL A CARNEGIE FREE LIBRARY. E CONFESS that we do not know where the Tower of Babel was located, whether at Borsippa, Amram, or at some undetermined point in the Jaxartes Valley. We believe, however, that the rich archeological finds of Dr. von Lecog throw an interesting light on this ancient scene of the first confusion achieved by a simplified spelling board. Dr. Lecoq has discovered a vast literature which, in all probability, fell down from an upper story of the an- cient tower. We conclude, without stop- ping to justify the steps of the argument, that the Tower of Babel was really a sort of an ancient Carnegie Free Library. The library was situate on the top floors of the tower, and was reached by the long-wind- ing, outside roadway of which history tells us. Since books in those days were in the form of bricks, it will be seen that the roadway was necessary in order to cart the books to the library. If our conclusion is correct, some very important truths emerge: First, that the free-library business is not new; second, that it once unset- tled people's minds; third, that it brought on the first attempt at simplified spelling which so jarred the language that the confusion of tongues ensued. ROPERTY that cannot hide away from the assessors? Why not a single tax on pianos and gramophones? AND still the prophets of woe are at it, either to decide who predicted the Jamaica earthquake or who came the nearest to it. Con ESS seems to be edging slowly toward that salary increase, which shows that congress can be heroic if it wants to be. I" IS announced that J. P. Morgan has retired. It will be recalled that announcement was made some time ago that the Hon. James J. Hill likewise had retired. Wien the new Shah casually remarks that some people in his king- dom would be better with their heads off, we know just what we would do if we lived in the Shah’s kingdom and there was a train starting for foreign parts FOND mother ships gay son on a five-years’ trip around the world in order to shield him from the temptations of New York. Good scheme. There are others who would like to escape the temptations of New York ‘on the same terms. comicbooks.com