Judge, 1907-01-26 · page 3 of 16
Judge — January 26, 1907 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top cartoon titled "Too Good to Be Trusted" depicts a wealthy woman in an elegant dress surrounded by admirers at what appears to be a social gathering. A well-dressed man stands apart, skeptical. The caption suggests the joke: if a man considers a woman "such a paragon," why won't he let her dance with other men? The answer: "She probably thinks he is too good to be true"—satirizing male jealousy and the double standards of courtship rituals among the wealthy elite. The remaining page contains humorous prose pieces about bar slang ("sus-sus-some"), etiquette terminology, and arctic exploration anecdotes, along with illustrations. These appear to be satirical commentary on contemporary social behaviors and speech affectations of early 20th-century American society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUSTED. “If she considers him such a paragon, why won't she let him dance with any other girl?” “She probably thinks he is too good to be true.”* OF LATE LIVES of great men all remind us, As we learn them day by day, That they'd best be put behind us, Out of sight and far away. HIS AF-FUF-FUF-FLICTION. HILE my af-fuf-fuf-fliction,” said the stuttering barber, “may not sus-sus- seem as tut-tut-terrible to you as sus- sus-some I could nun-nun-name, it has been a sus-sus-serious drawback to Z mum-mum-me in trying to lul-lul- Fi lead a lul-lulife of rectitude. Ill tut-tut- J tell you how it was. ++ You sus-sus-see, Iam very fond of bub- bub-beer, and sus-sus-sometimes I drink tut- tut-too much for my own gug-gug-good. Well, the fuf-fuf-first of the year I decided to cut it out. No more bub-bub-beer for me. I sus-sus- steered clear of temptation for sus-sus-several days, but one dud-dud-day I met up with the old gug-gug-gang, and they insisted that I join them. They dud-dud-dragged me into ‘one of those gug-gug-gilded palaces and demanded to know my bub-bub-brand, I hate those sus-sus-sizzly drinks that neither ch-ch-cheer nor inebriate ; so when the bar-tender asked mum- mum-me what I'd have I’ sus-sus-said, ++ +Gimme a glass of bub-bub-bub '— “That's as far as I gug-gug-got. Before I sus-sus-said it he had a glass of bub-bub-beer on the bub-bub-bar in front of me. It looked gug-gug-good, but I pup-pup-passed it up and waited. When the rest all had their dud-dud-drinks I said to the bar-tender, “Where's my bub-bub-bub'—— f¢* There it is in front of you,’ he sus-sus-said, “Said 1 + Tasked for bub-bub-bub * “Say, he the sus-sus-snippiest bar-tender I ever sus- sus-saw. ‘There's your beer," he sus-sus-said. ‘Take it or leave it.” sus-sus-some more. And that was the end of mum-mum-my gug-gug- good resolution. I had mum-mum-made up my mind to stick to bub- bub-bub-buttermilk, but it tut-tut-takes too long to sus-sus-say it. SAM 8. STINSON. A POLITE TERM FOR IT. 66 PAPA, what does hades mean ?” “«It's the polite word for hell, my son.” “And, papa, is there any polite word for heaven ?” TEXTS AND TEXTILES. HE Reverend Dullov de Head Has lately turned tailor, ‘tis said. No texts he compiles ‘To hurl through the aisles, But he sticks to his text-aisles instead. GIVES US A SQUARE DEAL. YOUR undertaker is the only man who guarantees to let us all in on the ground floor. POLAR HARDSHIPS. Yous Snowoeier—" Did that arctic explorer suffer many hardships ?” Ot Swoworirr—"' | should say so! Why, he had to fill forty lecture dates, «Well, rather than have a fuf-fuf-fuss I took it, and we had write twenty magazine articles, and do some feature stuff for the Sunday papers.” comicbooks.com