Judge — January 19, 1907 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PULPIT STATESMANSHIP. minister—* | can't see, doctor, “people don’t increase my salary ; n to appreciate what I do for / minister —“ Have you had any ely 2° ug minister— Not a call. minister —** Well, that's where lame.. No minister ever gets a sless he has several flattering calls. . my boy, get ‘em. | 1g minister—* But how will I get them | The remainder of the conversation be- ing strictly confidential is not reported. He got ‘em, however.— Zoledo Blade, Abbott's Bitters braces the nerves and is a reat strengthener. At druggists’. AN IMPRESSION. Now, I have an impression in my head,” said the teacher. “Can any of you tell me what an impression is ?" “Yes'm, I can,” replied a little fellow atthe foot of the class.“ An impression isa dent in a soft spot.""—Sirmingham (Alabama) Advance. KNEW WHAT WAS COMING. The judge of the supreme court pol- ished his glasses slowly and with dignity becoming a member of so august a tri- bunal. “Judge not,” he said, “judge not,” and paused and sighed. “Lest ye be roasted in the magazines,” he added.— Cleveland Press. TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets. gists refund money if it fails to cure. W. GROVE'S signature is on each box. WHAT THEN? I you're broke and feeling down in the mouth, As through the world you drift, Confide in the elevator boy, And he will give you a li —Kansas 25¢. ly Times. But, plodding brother, now suppose, When blue and with a frown, The kid should be contrary and Insist on going down ? — Milwaukee Sentinel, BEING HONEST ABOUT IT. Mother—" You say you are really go- ing to marry Mr. Wynner.” Daughter—" Yes. Mother— Why, you said last week that you wouldn't marry him if he were the last man on earth. Daughter —“1 know I did. But I thought then that he wasn't going to pro- pose." —Somerville Fournal. (CLIMATOLOGICAL, “Speakin’ uv climates,” said Uncle Josh this morning, “ reminds me, b' jinks ! tat th’ idealest climate is in yer mind, Fervidin’ you've got one uv these here contented minds !"—Detroit News. {s Simply his :-— When you want a glass of good old ale, order vans HGH LEE The Champagne of Bottle BEER ‘The main point of beer, like everything else, is SUPERIORITY of QUALITY. Trya bottle of HIGH LIFE Becr and compare it with any other brand, and the question of Superiority and Quality will be settled for all time. We use only the best materials money can buy. We have spent fortunes to obtain, and are still spending large sums annually to, maintain “PERFECT PURITY.” You will find MILLER HIGH LIFE BEER for sale at all first-class hotels and clubs and on dining cars and steamships. ACKER, MERRALL & CONDIT COMPANY, Distributors, *** *°* ' ALREADY THERE. She—"1 heard you complimenting her upon her girlish appearance, What did she say 2” He—"She said, + Ah, but I'm sure I shall look very much older when I'm forty." She—" Huh! She means she'll look very much older when she admits she is forty."—Philadelphia Ledger. ‘THE DUST RAISERS. Whoso kicketh up a mighty dust often choketh himself only. — Jeremiah of Toppa. RATHER BITTER, «« Father," said Senator Coyne’s little son, what is a mutual friend ?° “A mutual friend,” the senator with some slight bitterness replied, * is a man who always tells you in advance what magazine will muck-rake you in next month's issue."—Philadelphia Bulletin, QUALIFIED, “We want a man for our information bureau,” said the manager, “ but he must be one who can answer all sorts of ques- tions and not lose his head.” “That's me," replied the applicant. «I'm the father of eight children.”"—P/?- | adelphia Inguirer. COSTLY PRESSURE. HEART AND NERVES FAIL ON COFFEE. A resident of a great western state puts the case regarding stimulants with a comprehensive brevity that is admirable. He says: “Tam 56 years old and have had con siderable experience with stimulants. They are all alike—a mortgage on re- served energy at ruinous interest. As the whip stimulates but does not strength- en the horse, so do stimulants act upon the human system. Feeling this way, I gave up coffee and all other stimulants and began the use of Postum Food coffee some months ago. The beneficial re- sults have been apparent from the first. The ri:eumatism that I used to suffer from has left me, I sleep sounder, my nerves are steadier and my brain clearer. And 1 bear testimony also to the food value of Postum—something that is lack- ing in cutee.” Name given by Postum Co. Batti. Creek, Mich, There's a rea- eng son Read “The Road to Wellville,” the quaint little book in packages, Weat 48d treet New York CROWDED OUT. «Johnny, where is your mechanical “ Pop's got it.” ++ How about your automatic trip-ham- mer?" * Uncie Bill won't let_me have it.” + Your Japanese top ?” + Uncle Jim’s playin’ with that.” + Well, you seem to be in the way in the nursery. Guess you'd better go into the library for a while."—Louisville Cou- rier-Fournal, The TEST of a Good Watch NLESS all the parts are perfect and accurately put together, a watch soon loses or gains time. Defects in the watch itself soot” upsct the ad- justment to temperature and po- sition. To be accurate, a watch must be ‘adjusted’? to overcome the contraction and expansion caused by heat and cold, for a Lifetime Temustalao be'‘adjusted’"sothatit cep perfect time in any position. ance wheel of a watch, and the bal- ance wheel is where the adjusting is done. So every Rockford Watch is tested to run without a hair spring, to prove that the parts are perfect and accur- ately fitted toget With no defects to"throw It of," Rockford ad- Sesument temperatare and position is per~ Eanes ‘That is why a Pockford Watch keeps time, ‘without coatinual readjusting. ly sapplied with any type write us and we will see that a ly send you complete Information about Rockiord Watches. Write us today. Rockford Watch Co., Rockford, Il. Somewhere I saw it printed—« Opportunity knocks at your door but importunity walks into your private office.” I don’t want to be impor- tunate, but I would like to send my cigars into your office. I will take the risk of their being kicked out if you will let them in. Please read my offer care- fully. There are no strings to it, MY OFFER 1S:—! will, upon request, send one hun- dred Shivers’ Panatela Ci- gars on approval to areader of JUDGE, express prepaid. He may smoke ten cigars and return the remaining ninety at my expense If he is not pleased with the: If he is pleased, and keeps them, he agrees to remit the price, $5.00, within ten days, The fillers of these cigars are Clear Havana, of good quality—not only clear, but long, clean Havana — no shorts or cuttings are used. The wrappers are genuine Sumatra. In ordering please enclose business card or give person- al references, and state whether mild, medium or strong cigars are desired. If you think the Panatela would not please you let me send my catalogue of Clear Havana cigars. * HERBERT D. SHIVERS, ‘Shivers’ Pauatela exact sum AND SHAPE 919 Filbert Street, Philadelphia, Pa. comicbooks.com