Judge — January 12, 1907 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘THE PREVAILING CELTIC MUSE, HEN you read a pocm telling of an ancient Celtic sage, And the fairies gambol round some elf-haunted bit of ground, h “winds” and ‘ waters” plentifully peppered o'er the page, "Mid flashes of humid hates— Sure, ‘tis Yeats. If you come across a story wld in breezy discontent, With impressionistic flash and a Latin Quarter dash— And polemical advice that tenants shouldn't pay their rent— The chances are fairly sure ‘Tis George Moore At the theatre you're calmly gazing on the brilliant scene, And the plot is upside down, yet the play has caught the town, And the epigrams are jumping from their little coats of green, You will murmur, with low-dropt jaw, “ Bernard Shaw.” Let me tell you that the Celtic muse is working overtime. Old Ireland needn't fret, for she'll have her freedom yet ; For her destiny 's worked out in pinky prose and sky-blue rhyme. And the ink of the days long gone Floweth on. EUGENE GEARY. NOT AS BAD AS IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN. ++ POOR Nipsley! It was a terrible blow to him.” “Nipsley? I haven't heard about it. What's the matter?” «It was very sudden. He's all broken up. yesterday, and he told me he didn't know how he could get along without her. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't have believed before it happened that he'd have taken it so hard. He hasn’t been able to attend to business or to "— “Say, for heaven's sake! why don’t you tell a fellow about it? What's the old boy's trouble?” “His wife 's dead.” “Oh, Lord! I thought from the way you spoke that somebody must have come along and hired his typewriter girl away from him.” Tsaw him GOLDEN THOUGHTS FOR THE YOUNG. Tyg OW, there was a little lad, once upon a time, whose parents would not let him play with the other children on the block, and this made him very sad, and he did not like it very well. So one day he ran away from home and went to play with the other children on the block, notwith- standing his parents’ refusal to let him do so; and he had hardly gotten away from his own door before a big bear came and ate him all up. This teaches us al- ways to put on our rubbers when we go out in the wet. Once upon a time there was a little girl who did not like to have her hair combed, because sometimes her mother pulled a little when she was combing it; so one day, when hair-combing time came around, the little girl dashed out of the open window, and as her home happened to be on the fif- teenth floor, she was miserably mashed to pieces. The moral of this is that we should always pay our rent when it comes due. Once upon a time there was a little dog that was very fond ot kittens, but he was on a diet, and his mistress would not let him eat many ; so one day he went out in the back yard and ate fourteen at one sitting, and it made him so sick he was not able to be up for a long, long time, and his mistress did not give him any sympathy. This shows us that we should always speak kindly to the man that comes to collect our gas-bill. Once upon a time there was a little canary-bird that lived in a pretty cage, but it was not satisfied, for it had an insane desire to make its home in the porcelain bath- tub. And one day it flew out of its cage and did make its home in the porcelain bath- tub, and when the hot water was turned on for its master's monthly bath it perished miser- EVOLUTION OF MARRIED LIFE. Yum! Um! Hlth) i i i JUDGING FROM HIS SHAPE. “Uncle!” “Well, m" boy ?" “Are you a trust?” ably. This, little children, shows us that-when the price of coal goes up we should not swear, but should sing merrily «Tra la, tra la,” lke a dear little birdie. Luis PANKEN BUTE IN THE CARE OF CIRCUMSTANCES. 2 LOOKED as if he might have been a baseball umpire. He was battered and bruised to such an extent that his best girl would have passed him by on the other side, The mud clung to the legs of his trousers, and his hat was ensconced in a cute little out-of-the-way corner in the neighboring subway. “You ought to be more careful,” said a bystander as he tried to conceal a smile at the man’s appearance. “Careful !" shouted the unfortunate man, minute. I was crossing the street. An automobile was coming in one direction, a moving-van in another, a trolley-car from the east, a cab from the west, and there on the sidewalk was my tailor, who had recognized me and tt For HEALTHY HAIR and SCALP waiting to throw it all over me for fifty dollars that I USE Packers owed him, The auto threw Pure as the Pines me against the van, the van tossed me against the car, the car landed me against Recommended by the Medical Profession for cleansing the Hair and Scalp, and in treatment of Dandruff and Baldness. the cab, and the cab fairly The STANDARD for SHAMPOOING deposited me in the arms “The Packer Mig. Co., New Vork. “Say, listen to mea was of my tailor. Careful, in- deed !" And persed. + ¢GHE made him sign the pledge when they were married.” “TL always heard that marriage affected a man’s spirits.” the crowd dis- comicbooks.com