Judge — January 5, 1907 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BROWNSVILLE WOMEN AFTER THE BEEF COMBINE—A PROGRAMME OF REFORM. OR some time now I have been eager to put down the trusts, but I haven't known just how to go about it. Everybody knows that the trusts must be put down, because everybody says so, and that proves it. What we need to know now is how it is to be done. There is no use in putting off the business any longer. This good year of 1907 appears to be the appointed time. It’s an odd year, for one thing, and that is in favor of immediate action, for it's an odd thing to do, this wiping out of the trusts. And this is not a leap-year, and that is another point in favor of making trust- busting the order for this year. Just why this should be so I do not know ; but take my word for it and you will make no mistak: Just now some well-to-do people are contending that we have got to have the trusts, so that we shall not run out of rich men who can give us things—lakes for colleges, for instance, and pensions for pro- fessors, and funds to misspell the good old mother-tongue, etc.; but let us not be deceived by such sophistical nonsense. The one clear, peremptory, inescapable duty before us for this year is this: Put down the trusts. Let some gifted person come forward and tell us how to do it and that is all that we need to know. I take pleasure at this point in bringing forward the women of the Brownsville section of Brooklyn. They have shown the way to accom- plish this great work. The Brownsville women (may their tribe in- crease!) noted the high-handed way in which the beef trust was soak- ing the people, and they flocked together forthwith and. solemnly covenanted to eat no more beef. So long as the oppressive meat trust sells chuck-steak and pot-roasts by carat weight, as precious jewels, these women will have nothing more to do with the meat-butchers, They have resolved to live on CHICKEN until the trust sees the error of its weigh, as it were. You see, we have been going after the trusts with political weap- ons. The idea hitherto has been to hit these big fellows with the axe of the law—but the trusts own the axes. They temper the axe to the shorn lamb, as you might say, It remained for the women to show us that the trust is not a political but a dietetic problem, You want to hit the meat trust with a menu and not with a message from the White House. Put congress on the trail of the béef combine and you get only a gurgling laugh from the enemy. But let the combine catch sight of a procession of women moving, hatchet in hand, toward the chicken-coop—well, you'll see something doing. Acting upon this valuable sug- gestion, I have arranged an anti- trust schedule that will be found very useful in the great conflict with the trusts which is now upon us. Those who wish to join with the Brownsville women and myself in the great work of throttling the beef combine may do so at once by adopting the follow- ing order of campaign : How to Smash the Beef Trust. First] we must organize Break- fast, Luncheon and Dinner clubs. Our motto must be: We can't afford thier high-priced meaty So let’s all buy chick-en to eat. This will advertise the animus of the campaign, The trust will know at once just why we've balked at meat. The combine will be quick to see what we are up to. Then we ought to have a popular song. -No movement prospers nowadays without a popular song. Here’s a sample verse, and I could add more, but I won't. [Tune, * Blow the good old bugle, boys,” etc.] Burnish up the stew-pan, boys, And make the gas-stove hot. hasing of the beef-trust, and Il never stop—no, not. ig to keep it on the run— sive it an infernal lick And that’s the reason why 1 re goin’ to stew this chick-en. citorvs. y. hurray for chicken fricassee! Hurray, hurray for fry and broileree, For salad, roasted, stewed, creole, For, anyhow, good chicken is much health-iah. Here, now, is a scheme of trust-busting that proceeds on logical lines. If we are ever to be rid of the beef trust we must eschew poli- tics and chew chicken, as you might say. What is a seventy-thousand- word message as compared to a seven-course menu? Here is chicken against chuck-steak, broilers against brisket, poultry against porter- house, salad against sirloin, and fricassee against frankfurter. When the French Queen Catherine was told that the people were without bread she manifested great surprise and said, * Why, then, do they not eat cake?” Historians laugh at the queen for this remark, but now they will see the queen was right. The way to make a trust look sick is to cultivate our appetites for chicken. Members of breakfast, luncheon and dinner clubs are by no means limited to chicken—they may eat quail, pheasant, Delaware shad, duck—anything to beat the trust. Persons wishing to turn the cold shoulder (their own, not lamb) to the butcher, and not liking chicken, may order Rhode Island turkey—the kind the President gets every Thanksgiving. Then there is turtle and mock-turtle, and lobster and paté-de-foie gras, and frogs’ legs and grouse. Anti-trust menus will be furnished by any breakfast, luncheon, or dinner club, Rates on application. AFRAID THEY’D ALL BE ANSWERED. HE little girl came home to her mamma very much disturbed be- cause little Susie, her neighbor, had a new baby brother to play with, while she, herself, was very lonely. Her mother comforted her and told her to ask God to send her a little brother, too. So the child \ began to pray fora little brother, and occasionally got impatient ; but her mother told her to keep on praying and perhaps her prayer would be an- swered some day. One day she was called into the mother's room, and her delight knew no bounds when the nurse took a wee thing up from the mother’s side and laid it in her arms. But a mo- ment later, when the nurse picked up another bit of humanity, the child almost dropped the one she was hold- ing, and a startled. expression came into her face as she said, “Oh, mamma ! is God going to HIS PREFERENCE. answer all those prayers that I “Are you fond of yachting?” rayed 2” ‘No; but I'm very fond of schoonering."* Pray! Stat Mi of thi M for th Mp used was § 7 Take Druge W. 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