Judge — December 29, 1906 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IsN’T IT? nce in a while—of course under our breath— Now, isn’t it really so? There comes a dull day, when we're tired to death Of all the nice people we know. Jost of ‘And, indeed—it must be—as such things always go, That, without the least malice or fuss, Now and then all the clever, nice people we know Get awfully tired of us. —Brooklyn Life. BE CAUTIOUS! v years ago two young men found- ewspaper and printing plant in a ywn in Oakland County. day a rural constituent came in and inquired, «Lye just bought a shovel. Could you run ic through your press an’ print my name on it for me?” To do so would wreck the biggest printing-press ever made, but scenting a dime in the deal the jovial proprietor un- blushingly agreed to print the man’s name on the shovel for ten cents. Taking the implement into a back room the printer secured a merchant's stencil and painted the nome on the handle of the shovel, collected ten cents and sent the farmer on his way By the end of the week the printer was deluged with spades, axe-helves, hoes and | broomsticks of persons desiring their names printed thereon. " says the editor, “to be cautious when joking."—Detroit News. DAILY FACT. s been decided by a Chicago judge leged loss of memory is no excuse for bigamy.—Ex. SERMONIC. Too many think of religion as sowing the wind and reaping wings.—Chicago Tribune. AWFUL. «IT think Jones is one of the worst bores that ever lived.” + Why'so 2?” “He broke right in and began talking about himself while I was telling about a thrilling experience I once had out west.” Exchange. WONDERFUL DOG! “T have the most knowing dog you ever saw.” Myer —*+ Most knowing ?” Gyer — "Yes, Why, every time “he sees a tailor he pants."— Chicago News. For HEALTHY HAIR and SCALP Packers Tar Soap Pure as the Pines Recommended by the Medical Profession for cleansing the Hair and Scalp,’ and in treatment of Dandruff and Baldness. | The STANDARD for SHAMPOOING | | ‘The Packer Mfg. Co, Yew York. Vuape ‘THE DUST MARKET. Receipts on the Milwaukee dust market for the last two days have been exceed- ingly heavy. The quality is not so good as that of last summer, but what is lacking in this respect is made up in quantity, The best Grand Avenue dust was rated on ‘change yesterday morning at 83, a shade better than Friday’s rating. Dust, fair to middling, Wisconsin Street, 75. Low grades have been dull and carried over from day to day. The new dust ar- riving is of an inferior quality and causing many complaints. Ten car-loads were received on Grand Avenue late last night, but it is doubtful if there will be any tak: ers. Eastern buyers have been on the market, but all returned with cold feet and sore eyes. The market was steady at an early hour this morning, except for a whirlwind at Grand and Water, in which eight persons suffocated. — Mi/- waukee Sentinel. BUBBLES, A glowing account—fire news. The first-class printer has ample proofs. The successful lover has many a piece of good luck. When the housewife puts pies in the oven it’s a home thrust. Some people go to the hair-bleacher's with a dyeing request. ‘The timid man seems to give others a standing offer to sit down on him. The editor doesn’t mean a barrel, when he calls for a double-headed article. It doesn’t take the pickpocket long to get his hand in. The official bouncer says he belongs to the fire department. Most barbers have to face some rough customers.—Philadelphia Bulletin. GOOSEBONES. Si Perkins takes his goosebone down An’ frowns a most portentous frown. “Good land !" says he. ‘+I never see No winter sech «s this will be. The rain will fall, the wind will blow, An’ we shall have a power of snow.” Hi Whiffle picks his goosebone up An’ looks as playful as a pup. Says he “ Well, well, my gay gazelle, We're in fer jest the nicest spell Of weather that ye've ever seen— The winter will be warm and green.” Now here's two tales as much unlike As any you will chanst to strike. You kin believe Hi, or side with Si— They both are.men no coin would buy. But take both bones an’ guess midway, An’ you won't go far wrong, I say. —Courier-Fournal, BALKED, Old yarmer —" No, 1 don't want any more oi your labor-saving machines. I've tried enough on ‘em. Look in there. |‘There’s a typewritin’ machine the missus spent all her egg and butter money on to buy for me, ‘cause I ain't so over handy with the per Just look at the swindle.” Friend—* What's the matter with it?” Old farmer —* Matter! Why, you can't even write yer name with the | bloomin’ thing unless ye know how to | play the pianner."—7it Bits. Do you get up tired and feel tired all day? ‘Try a tablespoonful of Abbott's Angostura Bit- ters in sweetened water before meals. At gro- cers’ or druggists’. NONE LEFT IN BILL. “A college education,” declared the enthusiastic mother, ‘brings out all that is good in a boy.” Yes,” retorted William's father ; «and in Bill's case I wish a little of it could have stayed in."— Cleveland Press. TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets. Druggists refund money if it fails to cure. E. W. GROVE'S signature is on each box. 25c. Not . Just because a stock speculator tells you that he has just cleaned up a million, you can't take it for granted that it is clean money.—Somerville Fournal. THE FLAUNTE LADY. There was a young lady quite flaunte, Who behaved in a manner most jaunte; When above and beneath They admired her teeth, She exclaimed, “Yes! A present from aunte !” —Lampoon. Get Ready for the New Year by ordering a supply of EVANS’ ALE It will give you the strength to carry out your good resolutions. All Dealers and Restaurants Everywhere udge- Christmas Number XAMINATION of this will show that every promise made in advance was carried out to the letter. cartoons and the timely letterpress, it carried incidentally fifteen pages of cash adyertising. Any. of our advertising friends who may have missed this number may have a speci- men copy on request. issue, dated December 22d, In addition to the colored JUDGE COMPANY, 225 Fourth Avenue, New York City. will appreciate it SOLE AGENTS W. A. Taylor & Coy NEW YORK Somewhere I saw it printed—« Opportunity knocks at your door but importunity walks into our private’ office.” your p: I don’t want to be impor- tunate, but I would like to send my cigars into your. cffice. I will take the risk ot their being kicked out if you will let them in, Please read my offer care- fully. There are no strings to it. MY OFFER 1S:-1 will, upon request, send one hun- dred Shivers’ Panatela Cl- gars on approval to a reader of JUDGE, express prepald. He msy smoke ten cigars and return the remaining ninety at my expense If he Is not pleased with them; It he ls pleased, and keeps them, he agrees to remit the price, $5.00, within ten days. The fillers of these cigars are Clear Havana, of good quality—not only clear, but long, clean Havana — no shorts or cuttings are used. The wrappers are genuine Sumatra. In ordering please enclose business card or give person- al references, and state whether mild, medium or strong cigars are desired. If you think the Panatela would not please you let me send my catalogue of Clear Havana cigars. HERBERT D. SHIVERS, AND SHAPE 919 Filbert Street, Philadelphia, Pa. @ New York to Buffalo, via NEW YORK CENTRAL. LINES —Finest One-Day Railroad Ride in the World comicbooks.com