Judge — December 22, 1906 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SAYS HIRAM BRANDAGEE. 66 NO SIR, T don't want no machine 5 shank’s mare will do for me For getting through this world of ours,"* says Hiram Brandagee ; «T've set and watched 'em whizzing by our place from day to day, Jest like a reg'lar railroad train that’s gone and run away, And I've been dizzy setting there a-watch- ing of ‘em go; How would I feel to ride in one, I'd kinder like to know ? may be slower getting through this old world on shank’s mare, But [will be a thousand times more sure of getting there, “Now Dr. Todd he went and bought an automobile new And started on a distant run, as all the nabobs do, And “fore he got a dozen miles she flunked and wouldn't go. And Doc. he had her towed back home a sorry-looking show. Now if he'd started out afoot he would have got there. See? And none the neighbors could have laughed at Doc's perplexity. For speed I've learned that your shank’s mare is not the very worst, And he who takes it slow and sure, sometimes he gets there first. “Sam Brown he bought a speedy yacht and tried us all to beat ; She run ashore and broke her wheel, and sunk in twenty feet. Tom Haines he bought a trotting horse to give his neighbors fits, And by and by he run away and stove Tom all to bits. And that's the way the things turn out: you try to gu too fast, And by and by you'll find yourself a- 1g homeward last. No, sir, I don't want no machine ; shank’s mare will do for me. I'd rather take it slow and sure,” says Hiram Brandagee. yor Conn. UP-TO-DATE METHODS, 66 MAMMA, may I go out and play tag with the girls ?” “Certainly not, Louise. You've got to stay in and use your exerciser.” ASCENDING DESIRES. Mrs. Hanpout—" Have you no desire for better things ? * Tramp—"Certain! I wish you'd take bac dis hash and gimme broiled chicken!" BELIEF WAS EASY. 66 AT THIS glorious Christmas-tide,” gushed the Rev, Mr. Sappington, is it not easy to helieve the beautiful truth that it is ‘ more blessed to give than to receive "2 Sitting in his congregation was a bachelor who had received thirty-two neckties that would have tickled the Siwash Indians to death ; thirteen pairs of fancy hose four sizes too small for his feet; seven boxes of La Flor de Skunque cigars, and nineteen pairs of misfit slippers, to say nothing of hand- made pen-wipers by the dozen, bookmarks by the cord, and other things whose real names he knew not and could not guess. No doubt somebody had got some pleasure, malicious or otherwise, out of giving those things, he reasoned. cinch Mr. Bachelor had got none’out of receiving. assented the bachelor, after profound thought; it is quite easy to believe at this glad Christmas-tide, that + it is more blessed to give than to receive ‘—at least it is less cursed.” And he absent-mindedly joined in with the hired choir on the anthem. NO “BLESSED ARE THE NOISE-MAKERS " THERE. Uncie Jasrer—" Dorcas, it don't say nothin’ "bout good-will to kids, does it?” comicbooks.com