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Judge, 1906-12-22 · page 10 of 48

Judge — December 22, 1906 — page 10: what you’re looking at

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Judge — December 22, 1906 — page 10: Judge, 1906-12-22

What you’re looking at

This story mocks the social convention of obligatory Christmas gift-giving. John Gifters, tired of accumulating useless presents he doesn't want, prints cards announcing he won't give gifts to people who wouldn't appreciate them anyway—essentially calling out the pretense of the tradition. The joke: his friends respond by sending him an elegant silver tankard inscribed with false praise ("admiration and gratitude"), which Gifters interprets as proof his cynicism was justified. The irony is that even when explicitly rejecting gift-giving hypocrisy, social pressure forces people to participate anyway—and recipients still receive unwanted items. The top poem about "Jack Frost" appears unrelated, likely filler content in this Judge magazine page.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AC’ FROS' he pack his winteh grip En slide down fum de no! ‘Oh, Cihoe, bring det weddeh strip En tack et roun’ de lof". Hunt up dem erac’s en stuff dem tight, En dahn mah heaby cloes ; Jac’ Fros’ he made a call las’ night En nipped me on de nose. OF" Jac’ Fros’, In winteh he's boas, En when he calls on me, He creeps right in Fro quilts en skin En stings lak a bumble-bee. But though he nips me on de nose, Ah'm always glad he cum; He mak’ det pumpkin, goodness knows ! Es sweet es sugah-plum. He nip dem ‘simmons on de tree, En tuhns dem all to honey He mak’s det ‘possum skip wid glee En stahts de meddeh bunny. 1" Jac’ Fros’, Ah see yo" gloss When Ah peep et de break ob day: Den Ah tak’ mah nip En bac’ Ah alip Wa thy { : alter wi Till de sun dribes yo" away. DESERVED. IFTERS was always a very popular man, and consequently viewed the approach of the Christmas season with deep gloom. It had come to be his almost daily custom to repair to the attic immediately after dinner and examine and re-examine with a morbid avidity the heap of articles which had been presented to him by his friends at Christmas days of the past. In Gifters’s nature was a well-developed strain of thrift, and his pain was exquisite when he reflected that in almost every other attic in the land was a similar pile of useless and mouldering Christmas presents. So deep had become his gloom that it was almost with a sensation of alarm that Mrs. Gifters heard him whistling as he came up to the steps one evening, some two weeks before Christmas day. In one hand he carried a brown-paper parcel, which he placed upon the library table. “What have you in this package, John 2" Mrs. Gifters asked, pinching a small hole in the paper. “Christmas pres- ents,” was the noncom- mittal reply, as John lighted his pipe. By this time Mrs. Gifters had removed the wrapping paper and discovered a neat pack- age of small printed cards, Selecting one, she read : Having for a long time wished for ot have purchased it, and asin all probability’ you would not care for it, anyway, I will not make you a present of it. You are requested to act likewise regarding the article which you had intended sending me, which you no doubt wish to keep and which I WHEN THE ICE IS SAFE. ‘Follow de lead, Chimmey Cop! VICTOR A. HERMANN. probably would not want. With the season's best wishes, I am, very truly yours, « Joun Girrers.” Mrs. Gifters gasped in horror. ~ You don't mean to say you intend to send those things out ?” she demanded. “most certainly do,” Gifters coolly replied, producing a package of envelopes, a list of names and a sheet of stamps. For the first time in her life Mrs. Gifters was too much affected to even talk, but sat in a stony silence while Gifters finished his job and went out to the letter-box. A few days after Christmas Gifters came home with a somewhat heavy box under his arm. As there was no paper wrapper in which she could pinch a hole, Mrs. Gifters got the scissors and pried off the top, exposing a plush case in which lay a tall silver tankard, “What a beauty ! Where did you get it 2" she exclaimed delight- edly. Gifters silently turn- ed the cup over and pointed to the inscrip- tion: To Gifters from his friends as a token of their admiration and gratitude, wc mat READY FOR BUSINESS. 66 THATS A pretty high tower you ‘re building. Whatis it for? You're not going to try to reach heaven that way, are you?” “I'm simply keeping abreast of the times. This is to be a repair It's safe, all right.” station for air-ships.” comicbooks.com