Judge — December 15, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

5 Fount Ave., New Your. Westexx Aovaxnisine Ornic unites Ove copy, one year. One cop FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To n't building, Chancery Lane, F.C, London -acerers—Intermational News Company, Br The contents lance be written upon its indroidaal Di insure safe and promot return of material not accepted. JUDGE are protected by conyrigh in both the United States and Great Britain. CONTRIBUTORS mst inciose a stamped and self-addressed ertreiove with all manuscriots, otherwise retarn of th lo the Ar! Desariment should have the sender's full name and adiress ‘written plainly on each and every serarate sketch. icrare, and NOT upon a separate slip of paver. Inciosure of stamps 10 the fall amount of postage is also required, 10 PUBLISHED WEEKLY Appness,“Jupcann.” Tar. 2¢14 Gramercy. 1313 Hartford Building, Chicage, Me TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. Ove copy, for thirteen weeks 1e Cumistatas Jvoce ‘eign countries ia the postal union, $5.0 a year. Teel Brent. Infringement of this conyright will be prompity and rigorously Prosecu! Her when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. The accompanying fobe or 1 JUDGE cannot be found at any vews-stand, the publishers will be under obligations If that tact be promptly reported oa postal-card or by letter. [1S remarkable, as that man Hughes goes on talking, how much he be- gins to talk like one Theodore Roosevelt. T. LOUIS philanthropist offers to pay children wages for going to school. Will St. Louis philanthropist please write or call? al survey announces that there is coal enough to last five THE keologi Thanks! The trouble is, it is not all in a certain thousand years. bin we wot of. W'! TH the inauguration of the new Governor of the Empire State we shall no doubt begin to hear discussed the question of the relation of whiskers to success. wee & NOTE that Mr. Murphy and Mr. Conners seem to be getting nearer together all the time, while the third member of the triumvirate, Mr. Hearst, appears to be engaged in a tangential movement. THE GREAT PROBLEM SEASON: IS WITH US. 'HE TWO WEEKS or more preceding Christmas should be sharply differentiated from Christmas itself. Just as the approach to Easter gladness is accomplished by a penitential season, so the approach to the joy-time of the year should be marked in the calendar as a season of great mental stress, the problem week corre- sponding to the holy week of the church. Husband now begins that daily, racking search for wifey’s present. He must find something within his means that please Her amazingly well, seem to be the one thing she craved, and yet be so cun- ningly contrived that it is almost as much a present for himself as for Her. Wife now goes forth to compass the ownership of something, she cannot imagine what, that will please Hubby. And then come those awful friends and near relatives! Not what will they like, but what will not give offense, Oh, it’s a problem, all right. You can give children what you will, and they are apt to be satisfied. But what shall we give those blessed cousins and uncles and aunts, etc., etc.? Perhaps Christmas is such a joyful day just because then the preparation-time is over. Uncle George got suspend- ers when he’d just bought two pairs himself, and Cousin Hester got a lamp with a purple shade, which she feels like throwing out of the window—but no matter. It’s a grand time, because the worry of it is past for another year. FRANCE, by abolishing the death-penalty, takes a long step forward toward the real and final civilization, THe papers say that Peter Honstantynowicz bequeathed but ten dollars to his widow. Peter evidently didn’t think much of his good name. [F PATRICK, after six years of punishment, goes free we may expect " young Thaw to be returned to liberty after serving a similar sentence. AND here is London Truth suggesting that America ought to have a house of lords to provide suitably for the ambitional requirements of people like Hearst. WE NOTE that as a result of the woman-suffrage agitation in England Dr. Wallace thinks that the voting age of both men and women should begin at thirty-one. ‘suppose. Only a clever way of minimizing the peril, we A LITTLE FABLE, SHOWING HOW A RACE-WAR STARTED. HERE is alittle fable that may have some appositeness for the tim Once a man advertised for trouble and got it. His advertisement was ingenious. He announced that every time he saw a man with red hair he was going to throw a brick at him. Naturally, every man with red hair ‘sat up and took notice. When the adver- tisement was repeated again and again all the red-haired men got it into their heads that they would like to see the ad. man. Not that they wanted to mix it with him, but out of a simple curiosity to see whether he would make good. Thus it happened that, wherever the ad. man appeared, he found a lot of red-haired men who had no interest in the man whatever, and were drawn together more by curiosity than any. preconcerted malice. But now the pro- gramme changed, for the man of the ad. took umbrage at the sight of so many red- haired men, and proceeded at once to hurl bricks; for he contended that such a host of red-haired men, gathered together in one place, forebdded mischief to himself. The red-haired men, on the other hand, flared up when they saw the bricks coming their way, and from that day out there was real war, where before there had been none, nor any occasion for any. Moral—We verily believe that Senator Tillman is the most active agent at the present time in promoting the fulfillment of his own dire prophecies of a race war between the blacks and the whites. INCE the Caruso incident it has occurred to a lot of psychologists that the artistic temperament is peculiar. "HE Interstate Commerce Commission is sitting up nights trying to solve the profound question, Are potatoes fruit? Can’t somebody give the 1. C. Cy a lift? ‘es CAPTAIN JAMES COOK SHARES ADAM'S FATE. FROM HAWAII comes a story which upsets the accepted belief about the fate of the celebrated Captain James Cook. It seems that we are never to know exactly what became of the captain’s body, which does not matter much, except as it emphasizes the uncertainty which is’coming to attach to the remains of all the renowned ancients. There are some who claim that the John Paul Jones lately brought from France is not the real John Paul; and, furthermore, that now we never shall know where the body of the first admiral of the American navy rests. Columbus is claimed by several cities. The scholars are in a great state of puzzlement over the last resting-place of Thotmes, sometime King of Egypt. Some think a recently-recovered mummy is that of the Hon. Thotmes, and others declare against it. And there is Adam, the most noted human that ever lived, and nobody knows where he lies—no monu- ment marks his resting-place. No doubt it is as disconcerting to the shades of these old worthies to find themselves credited with multiple resting-places as with none. But, come to think of it, how utterly neglected are the graves of nearly all the human race! It is estimated that of the 216,182,615,442,30: 706,- 261,001 people who have lived only 1,218,000 have tombstones that will last the century out. : comicbooks.com