Judge — December 8, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oe SIG Lid — = Sj PUBLISHED WEEKLY 225 Founrm Avz.,New Yor. Caste Appness,“‘Jupcamx.” Tat. @214 Gramxncr. Wastaxn Apvexrisinc Orrice—1313 Hartford Building, Ohicage, It, unre TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: STATES AND CANADA IN One copy, one year. or sz numbers = = One copy, six inonths, oF 25 numoers = = One copy, for thirteen weeks FORE Evnorean sauas-acents—International News Company, Bream’s building, Chancery Lane, F.C. London: Brentano's, Avenue de t" Opera, Paris Toctoding the Cumstwas Juoce. SUBSCRIPTIONS—To ail foreign countries in the postal union, $5.50 a year. Sruréach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this conyright will be promotty and bigorousty prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must tnctose a stamped and self-addressed entreione with all manascrits, otherivise return of the latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. RAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and adiress Ywritten plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying joke or desoeae itor press should in Coorg instance be wrilen upon [is ndvoideal Dictare, and NOT upon a separate si0 of paper. Inciosane of stamos 10 the fall amount of postaye (s also reguired, 10 tasure safe and promot retum of material not accepted. MU JUDGE cannot be found at any newe-tand, the publabers will be wader obligations If that fact be promptly reported oa postal-card or by letter. NOW buy Christmas presents. Wwsee UP! Let it be an old-fashioned season of good cheer. BY THE WAY, what with all those wage increases, common people ought to have a pretty happy Christmas this time. IC TIONARY defines it thus: ‘* Gift—That which is given; something voluntarily bestowed without expectation of return.’” JHE Hon, William Jennings Bryan announces that he will be solidly lined up against predatory wealth in 1908. We had suspected as much. FUNN Y, but has it struck anybody that the originator of that trial-mar- riage scheme to greatly multiply marriage ceremonies is a Parsons? Just a coincidence, but it’s suggestive—what? THE DAY OF THE FLYING-MACHINE DRAWS NIGH. INCE Santos-Dumont assures us that by another year everybody will be flying in his own aéroplane, it occurs to us that the psychological moment has arrived for mankind to realize this dream of the ages. Every great invention has been preceded by years of experiment and gradual ap- préach. The flying-machine has become common enough, but none of us yet can fly. Having exhausted the novelty of the automobile, we take it that a flying-ma- chine in which anybody can fly is now the need of the hour. This being so, we may look for the fulfillment of Santos-Dumont’s prophecy on schedule time. This time next year, then, the world will be full of a brand-new sensation, The daily news- papers will get a splendid lift. We can conceive of no department of life which will not be immeasurably stimutated and vivified by the conquest of the air. This time next year elopers will fly away and fond parents will see them disappear over the chimney-tops. Bank-wreckers will skip lightly up stairs, jump into their autoflyer, and light out through the upper atmosphere for Canada. Bigamists will fly from their troubles, and it will be a rare sight to see the renegade husband a-wing with a swarm of wives, also in flight, flapping along in pursuit. It will be a vastly more interesting world when all of us take to wings. cee GTATEN ISLANDER threw out his flags and celebrated because the cook had stayed with them a year! REICHSVERDROSSENHEIT, the Kaiser thinks, is an annoying word. Freely translated, it means that when things go wrong it’s up to Wil- liam; and if they go right everybody is asking, “ Who was his adviser?” The first American admiral was lately moved from Paris to Washington, and now they’ve moved one of the Signers from North Carolina to Pennsylvania. Which only proves that Americans will not stay put. Dead or alive, they must keep on the go. eee [7S going to be a very mild winter because: Squirrels have been lazy in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, this fall, migratory birds are loafing round in the Catskills, pigs are not carrying straw in their mouths as much as usual in Chautauqua, and hens are not cackling in shrill, defiant tones, but sort of crooning round in barnyards. A GLANCE AT THE MAN BEHIND THE KING. GERMAN WRITER of eminence has been saying things about the Kaiser which we supposed would have made it advisable for the writer to take a long vacation in foreign parts. Count Reventlow almost openly charges that the august head of the German empire is the victim of flat- tery. The Emperor has surrounded himself with people who like to tell him he is a big man, a genius, a world-builders and he likes so well to hear that sort of thing that he has come to believe it, and keeps that kind of peo- ple in power. We are led to infer that the Emperor thinks himself so great that sometimes he can’t sleep. He stands so in awe of himself that when he does fool- ish things, as he generally does, the lesser and finite part of him is totally at a loss to understand how the greater and the infin- ite part of him could have made such a blunder. This results in moods of great melancholy. This accounts for lese maj- esty. When he gets into one of these moods he becomes the victim of the com- mon human liking for revenge. To our American ways of looking at it, the only way to bea successful king is to play at the game in good nature. As soon as one undertakes to king it in earnest all the trouble there is heads his way. WHILE discussing futures, let it be remembered that the Hon. Charles Murphy got one vote for governor. That ought to qualify for ‘something. ‘ UST see how easy it is for a poor man to get elected. Election-expense accounts, now complete, show that’s poor man can get almost any- where for from $10,000 to $500,000. eee LL the signs point to a cold winter: Goose-bones are tough, fur is growing under the feathers of the chickens, the one-eyed owls are leaving Berks County, Pennsylvania, toadstools are weazened, and field- mice’s tails are wrinkling up. ee THE ANTI-NOISE CRUSADE. EOPLE with nerves think this world is getting too noisy. Hence the crusade against noise is growing every day. Mr. William Dean How- eils has joined himself to these criers-out against the clangor and rattle and slam-bang of the times. On the other hand, there are people who are so accustomed to noise that they can’t stand silence. We have heard of a rich New Yorker who, in vacation time, when he is at his summer home, hires a man to drive a dray-load of clanking scrap-iron up and down all night in front of his house. It is a well-known fact that people born and bred in the midst of the tu- mult of city life find rural quietude unendur- able, especially when the sky is gray and lonely and rain is falling. On the whole, we think the argument is with the noise- lovers and the noise-makers. We Ameri- cans like both. It may be that when our craving for excitement has gone some years further we shall have to manufac- ture new noises to meet the demand. Per- haps in that day every office will be sur- plied with its own type of noise-machine, and the work of the world be done in a racket that was never before dreamed of. comicbooks.com