Judge — November 17, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY x Appness,‘JUpGARK.” Txt. 2214 Gramenor, TERMS TO UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE One copy, one year. or s2 numbers = One copy, six montiss, or 26 numbers = One copy, for thirteen weeks FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS. w sates-acenrs—/ntermational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, F.C, London cuntents of JUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. ‘ORS must inctose a stamped and self-addressed enivelove with all manuscriots, otherivise retam of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. x pery senarale sketch. The accompanying joke or the full amount of postage (s also required, 12 Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and Pigoroasiy prosecuted. CONTRIB DPAWING: {iress written stainiv on each and 5s sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and rate slip of parr. Inciosure of stam descrotive letter in every instarce be writien upon its indroidual picture, and NOT uoon a se tasure safe and promot return of material not accepted. UW JUDGE cannot be found at any news-stand, the publishers will be under obligations if that tact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. RATHER unfair of the Supreme Court to overrule the simplified spellers with a mere “Ah!” so ® THE fitty-thousand-million-dollar corporation is here. It will deal in any- thing from tin cans to battle-ships. Nothing like progress. ome URGESS. Name sounds familiar.” Might easily be mistaken for Bur chard. Americans are not always happy in their talk for export. IRDS’ NESTS are in great demand in Washington, it is said. Looks as if a lot of people would want feathers next to feather their own nests, YALe COLLEGE establishes a chair of lumbering. Will it be imperti- nent to suggest to President Hadley that such a chair ought not to be filled by a stick? . EW YORK women, it is said, carry revolvers nowadavs. When we consider what the Suffragettes have been doing in London, this report has a menacing sound. 4s Bf ie y te j BjONBoNs cause hysteri to eat ice-cream and cand In other words, girls, it is very dangerous peace conference is to be called at Easter! bg\ tHow quéer in these militant times it sounds to hear that another Hague 7 THAM TOWN has such a nice way of adding to its expenses * $15,000,000 at a single clip that the thing looks positively easy. T! AT $10,000,000 Hall of Records in New York being finished, the work of stealing it has begun. Naturally, the thieves start in by lugging off the door-knobs, eee D® PARKHURST is working hard these days getting up vice-lists of New York, Dr. Parkhurst is said to have the most complete vice- lists of anybody in the city. oe cu T-GLASS bowls and damask napkins are served before the acciughis, says a fashion article. We are just plebeian enough to wonder what under the sun acciughis is (or are). ¥ <e * pF How GRAND is our Department of Py ‘Washington! How it is branching out.and doing good in all directions! Its latest experi- ment in Eugenics will be applauded everywhere. Following the demand of President Roosevelt that the American people must have more babies, the Department of Agriculture has decided that they must also be better babies. Hence the Department of Eugenics. WILL THE HEIRESSES EVER GET WISDOM? THE LATEST international marriage to come to grief will likely stir several sorts of sensations in the American breast. Stripped of all verbiage, the pitiful story runs about as follows: Rich girl takes her heart and purse and gives them into the keeping of a nobleman whose title is his sole asset. Little nobleman with big title Proceeds to empty rich girl’s purse. Takes $700,000 a year, a total of $8,000,000 in less than a decade, and meanly doles out to rich girl a pittance of her own money for her personal expenses, slaps her face upon occasion, cuts up high-jinks on the princely balance, and deals out abuse in liberal quantities day by day, week by week, month by month, to theegirl who was foolish enough to trust herself and her fortune in his hands. So long as rich American girls appear to like this sort of thing, this sort of thing is probably. what rich American girls like. The pity one would naturally feel for the victim of this conjugal collapse is lost in the sense of ridicule excited by her folly; her vanity, her conceit, her utter foolhardiness in making the venture. vIn the light of all this miserable marital history, we should say that the best thing for any girl who contemplates such a marriage hereafter would be a good, earnest spanking by those who have the right to administer it. RANCE will shortly abolish the death-penalty. The French conscience will no longer stand for the public executioner. THE argument seems to be that if Mrs. Eddy can be shown to be aging in her eighty-seventh year it’s all off with Eddyism. ON THE PERMANENCY OF MALE MAN. N THESE militant times of disturbance, when all the sacred institutions are shaken by the assaults of the mob, it is good to discover that man— mere man, male man—is an unshakable inStitution—at' least so far as the other and better half of mankind is concerned. Three hundred Brooklyn schoolmarms lately consulted a witch about their future. Schoolmarms are naturally representative of educated girlhood-and womanhood. Being self-supporting, they belong to the feminine emancipation. They are as free from bondage to hateful man as it is possible to be. Consequently, when three hundred schoolmarms express a desire as to what kind of a future they would like to have, that desire must be pretty near being a free and une prejudiced opinion, Now it turns out that by a big majority these three hundred schoolmarms desire husbands, We take it that no man could wish for a higher compliment. It shows, as we said before, that man, as an institution, is sound and permanent. Everything else is crumbling. Church and state, politics, trusts, corpora tions, yellow journalism—everything is yielding more or less under attack. But man as an institution retains his full meas- ure of dignity and worth in the eyes of those to whom he must look for his right and title to be. It’s a great thing for man, in the midst of such worrisome and unsure times, to be admired and loved and longed for by all the women folks. comicbooks.com