Judge — October 20, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GENIUS AND STUPIDITY. ssCENIUS,” | said G the sage, ‘is the infinite capacity for hard work.” “And. stupidity,” observed the young man who had put through a few good things, ‘is the inabil- ity to make others do the hard work for you.” WHAT MOTHER WOULD SAY. EXTRAVAGANT. 6sGIR." sald the beg- gar to the man whose nose and chin were almost meeting, and who walked on his heels so that the soles of his shoes might be saved, “would you kindly give a poor devil twenty dollars to buy something to eat?” “Twenty dol- lars!" growled the man, gasping. * Why, I never heard of such WARICURE tao, EDWARD is invited to a children’s party. His mother does not often allow him to indulge in so she presses upon the host- ess that the little fel- low is to have but one piece of cake. When Edward has disposed of his generous helping of ice-cream and cake he asks for a second sweets, im- longer his chief business. helping. + What would your mother say, Edward ?" Mrs. Ray asks, hoping to pave the way peaceably for a gentle refusal. +++ Help yourself, dear,’ ” was the instant rejoinder. THE MERRY MINSTRELS. WAS las’ night,” began the end-man when the sweet-voiced singer had concluded a pathetic ballad, “Ah was a-gwine home when Ah sees a big, black ghost.” + Hold on, Mr. Bones !" cried the mid- dleman. “Who ever heard of a black ghost? You should know better than to announce to this large and intelligent au- dience that you saw a black ghost. Let me inform you, for future reference, that all ghosts are white.” + Mistah Centerpiece, yo" am wrong,” protested the end-man, “Ah has seen blue, green an’ yellah ghosts, an’ pink an’ red ghosts, an’ ‘Mr. Bones, your ignorance is amaz- ing. But as you can’t possibly prove your absurd claim that you've seen a colored ghost, our popular tenor, Mr. Hinote, will render that appealing bit of sentimentality, ‘ When Brother Jim Was Boarding with the State."” “Ah got proof—Ah got procf!" cried the end-man as the tenor “Ah knows dat Ah've seen blue, green an’ red Kase ghosts am all shades, Dat's mah answer.” arose to warble. ghosts. Kase why ? HUNGER. 6 YVHAT would your majesty wish for breakfast 2" asked the waiter of the cannibal king who is sojourning in this country. «* What have you ?” asked the cannibal king. ++ Almost anything—cereals, fruits, rolls, muffins ” “Do you think you could get me a few ragamuffins ?” asked the cannibal king with a hungry twinkle in his eyes, looking out of the window at the plump newsboy who is crying his extras. A LENGTHY LIST. ss YJHAT are all these things for ?” asked the meat-packer, indicat ing a iot of large flat cans, about three feet wide by four feet long, and a quarter of an inch deep. “« Those are the new cans for our corned-beef hash," explained the superintendent. “What was wrong with the little ones we have used ?” “Nothing; but the new law requires us to print the contents on every package, and I had to get this new can for the hash.” [7S pretty sight to see a girl blush when she really has nothing to blush over, THE TRANSFORMATION OF THE MODERN BARBER-SHOP. The modern tonsorialist will cut your hair or shave you as an accommodation, but that is no insolence! No! Be on your way! I would not give you a cent. Twenty dollars! The idea! Preposterous ! Not a cent, do you hear?” “« That's all right, boss," answered the beggar, edging away. +1 knew by your looks you wouldn't loosen up even for a pleasant smile; and feelin’ sort of sporty to-day, I thought I might as well blow in a twenty on you as a dime.” Praatstes DANGEROUS CONFIDENCES. 64 JOHN.” said the manager of the dime-museum, «+I want you to put the living skeleton at one end of the hall and the fat lady at the other hereafter, and see to it that they don’t get a chance to talk to each other before or after the show.” “Why, have they been making love to each other ?” asked John, looking toward the fat lady and skeleton, who are in deep conversa- tion. + Naw; but I overheard them, and she is promising to tell him what to eat to make him fat, and he is promising to tell her how to get thin,” SUFFICIENT REASON. Epwarp—" Why did Grace marry Fred? She wasn’t the least bit In love."* Eprm—" Heavens, no! She thought Ada wanted him." comicbooks.com