Judge — October 13, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SOME NEW INVENTIONS. [7 MAY have escaped the attention of the people, but it is, never- theless, a fact that the past summer has been extraordinarily ruitful in inventions. Out of a swarm of clever devices JUDGE has selected the following for special mention and hearty approval. A farmer of New Egypt, New Jersey, applying the-methods of Wizard Burbank to the poultry yard, has evolved a scratchless hen which promises to revolutionize fancy gardening. "The New Egypt hen is set up on the usual hen plan, with this difference : One leg is two inches shorter than the other. By reason of this shortage one side of the hen goes at a slower pace than the other, which has the effect of producing a curvature in her locomotion. In other words, this hen, starting for the freshly-seeded garden in a direct.line, as hens will, finds herself mysteriously shunted aside. When she thinks she has arrived at the garden she is most mightily mistaken, for she has merely gone the circle and arrived back at her own doorstep. Simple as this idea is, and effectual in curbing the nomadic pro- pensities of the hen, this clever invention has lain dormant in the human brain for all these countless million years. A mere two- inch diversity in the underpinning circularizes the motion of the hen for time and eternity. A man in Pugwash, Maine, has hit upon an idea so like that of the New Egypt man that they might almost pass for the same. The Pugwash man has succeeded in breeding what he calls the fenceless pig. This is a pig with one eye eliminated, and it is found that the single optic affects the pig just as the short leg affects the hen, Each tends in a circular course, and consequently never wanders far from home, This invention is said to be worth mil- RECOLLECTIONS OF THE PLAY. lions to the western farmers and herders, doing away entirely with e Oh, papa! didn't that ballet-dancer have Just the sweetest expression?” the necessity for fences. Why, er—I don't recollect seeing her face. ALONE, WHAT SMARTNESS DOES. NTERING the mansion, we find its mistress weeping silently but THE dusky old southerner laid down his newspaper wearily, took off his glasses, and looked over at his wife. “ Ah, don’ see as dis gittin’ eddycated amounts to.a pow'ful sight, copiously into a delicate handkerchief, lay we inquire the occasion of your sorrow 2” we ask gently. Just to think !” she wails. * Myself and my daughters left ab- aftah all,” he declared. * Wha’ yo" mean ?" “"Pears to me dat jes’ 's soon as dese sma’t people git up wh dey be pres‘dents ob banks an’ other ‘spensive places, dey goes to j solutely alone and unprotected !* “What? Your husband and your sons—surely they "—— We pause, fearing that we have blundered upon some mighty catastrophe, “My husband,” she weeps, in prison for merging some trusts; my oldest son is doing ninety days for reckless automo- biling, and now word has come that my other son has been sent to jail for some college prank or other !* Sighing because of the relent- less hand of the law, which smites without regard to the number of gentle hearts it crushes, we tip- toe away and leave the woman in her grief. THE POET AND THE SNOW, THROUGH the window could be seen the impalpable flakes of snow, drifting, rising, wheel- ing in an arabesque of ivory against the dull gray of the sky. Now they scurried through the naked branches of the trees, now they patted with feathery softness against the window-pane, and now they sank slowly to mother earth “That reminds me," said the poet, going to his desk and tak- ing up his pen. No, dear reailer; he was not going to write a poem on * The Beautiful Snow." He was going to write a check for his winter's coal. For he was an advertising a en poet and'shad the: money. 4n!\the “By Jove, Miss Naseby! your coloring is exquisite—superb. I wish you could afford to have me bank. paint your portrait.”* comicbooks.com