Judge — October 6, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE EVOLUTION OF PARLORS. NE day the Shade of a Century ago appeared in one of the great house-furnishing empori- ums of the lower town and began a tour of inspection. After marveling at the won- derful moving stairway and compressed-air tubes for shooting change to any part of the building, the shade approached the floor- walker. : ‘What would you like to see, sir?” asked the latter suavely. ++ Well,"" responded the shade, «I would like to see some parlor furnishings. I used to take great interest in our parlor a hundred years ago, and I would like to see if there has been any great change in the furniture, pictures, bric-a-brac, etc.” ** What kind of a parlor do you refer to, sir?" interrogated the floor-walker. The old shade was puzzled. ++ Is there more than one kind of a parlor these days?" he asked undecidedly. “+ Most assuredly. rial parlors "—— “Hold on! What on earth is a tonsorial parlor 2” «Why, an establishment where you can get your hair cut, singed, curled, shampooed and renovated in ten minutes. In another five min- utes you may get shaved, massaged, kneaded by the Swedish move- ment, jiu-jitsued by the Japanese movement, and your shoes polished by the colored movement. If you have another minute you may have your nails manicured, corns removed, bunions reduced and freckles Then "— Haberdashery parlors, palmist parlors, tonso- removed. 1, Tue revinz—'* That bucket Is full of rich, fresh milk, and | fully realize that — —and at times show great alacrity— ++But why in the world do they call such places parlors? I thought a parlor was the best room in the house, where you hung por- traits on the wall and displayed wax fruit under a glass case.”” “+I see that you belong to a past age. But the parlors. We also have facial parlors for ladies, café parlors for gentlemen, speculating parlors for jays and "—— “«Speculating parlors, did you say 2” “Yes; you will find them in the bull-and-bear district. Some- times they are known as bucket-shop parlors. Then we have pytho- ness parlors, where you may have your fortune told. Also crystal reading parlors, occult parlors and matrimonial parlors.” “And what is a matrimonial parlor 2” “Why, a bureau where you may go and select a wife or husband, as the case may be. Then the first-class employment agencies are going under the name of intelligence parlors.” “Astonishing! Any more parlors?” “ Multitudes—faro parlors, poker parlors, roulette parlors and pool parlors for those who like to tempt fortune. Then there are ice- cream parlors, soda-water parlors and pop-corn parlors for the younger generation. Nor must I forget the shoe-shining parlors and hat- cleaning parlors. Also parlor-cars, pipe-hitting parlors down in Chinatown, chop-suey parlors and "—— But the Shade of a Century ago had fled to the spirit world. VICTOR A. MEKSANN THE SONG OF YES—NO! $6 ES—no—yes—no!” ‘Thus the whims of maidens go. Heart-gay, heart-sick— Thus the hearts of maidens tick! It's Yes" or No," according to her bent; Yet a maid may err with the best intent! WALTER PULITZER, 4, —In order to secure the luxuries of this life."” WISE TO THE SITUATION. comicbooks.com